Read Online Mr g by Alan Lightman - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Alan Lightman
Tags: Fiction / Literary
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Unpleasantries
After watching the formation of galaxies and stars and planets, I had a sensation unlike any I’ve ever had before. It was a kind of fullness. But it was more than a fullness, it was an
overfullness
, because I felt as if new things had been created within Me—an odd turn of events, since it was I who had created Aalam-104729. Or more precisely, I had created the laws and organizational principles, the matter and energy, from which everything followed. One might have thought that every new thing in that universe was already inside Me. But this did not seem to be the case. As with the invention of the quantum, I felt that I had been
changed
. I felt that my imagination had been amplified and enlarged. I felt that I knew things I hadn’t known before, and I felt larger than before. How was it possible that something I’d created from my own being was now larger than my being? Is it possible that the created can create its creator? I was baffled and pleased at the same time, although that pleasure eventually led to certain displeasures.
It was not only Me. All of us felt that we had been changed. Our sense of ourselves had changed. Our perceptions had changed. For example, the Void now seemed even more empty than before. The Void, of course, had always been absolutely empty of all things, a perfection of absence. For eons of unmeasured time, Uncle Deva, Aunt Penelope, and I had rejoiced in the total emptiness of the Void. That emptiness, that complete nothingness, was one of the central and eternal absolutes of existence. That nothingness was the starting point of all action and thought, in fact, was the background that defined action and thought, that defined
somethingness
. We had all felt, without articulating the feeling, that the Void might actually be necessary for our existence. As the total emptiness of the Void was clearly an essential part of its nature, we celebrated that emptiness.
Now, however, after we had all made a number of excursions into the new universe and witnessed the extraordinary material things being made, the sacred emptiness of the Void did not bring the same pleasure it had in the past. We were—if I dare say it—even
dissatisfied
with the Void. For my own part, when I moved through the Void, I now keenly noticed what was not there. Not in the abstract sense, but in the actual and material sense, as now I could compare nothingness to atoms and electrons, to spiral galaxies and long trails of luminescent gas, to stars exploding and spewing their elements into space. I could not help but feel a bit disappointed in the
plainness
of our habitat in the Void.
Aunt Penelope did not take the same delight in gathering up little pieces of the Void for her personal preoccupations. What’s this? she whined during a recent outing as we strolled through the Void. You know what that is, said Uncle Deva. It is a scrap of emptiness that you will take back home and put to some good use. But it is nothing! said Aunt P. Yes, said Uncle, it is precisely nothing. It is a nice piece of nothingness. Perhaps you can make a dress from it. No, said my aunt. I will not. It is truly nothing. It is really nothing. I want to make a dress from the galaxies and stars. Oh, what a magnificent dress that would be! I would shine, and everyone would want a dress like mine. Nephew, my aunt said to me, can you please be a good nephew and bring back some material from that universe. I do not need a lot. Uncle looked at me with disapproval and annoyance. Do not butt into this, Deva! said Aunt P. This doesn’t concern you. The material in the universe should stay in the universe, said Uncle Deva. Everything has its own place. Don’t be so self-righteous, said Aunt P. Just a little while ago, if I remember correctly, you were saying that you would like to look at a few mountains now and then on our walks through the Void. Don’t deny it. You always exaggerate, said Uncle. I asked for only
one
mountain. Not mountains
After watching the formation of galaxies and stars and planets, I had a sensation unlike any I’ve ever had before. It was a kind of fullness. But it was more than a fullness, it was an
overfullness
, because I felt as if new things had been created within Me—an odd turn of events, since it was I who had created Aalam-104729. Or more precisely, I had created the laws and organizational principles, the matter and energy, from which everything followed. One might have thought that every new thing in that universe was already inside Me. But this did not seem to be the case. As with the invention of the quantum, I felt that I had been
changed
. I felt that my imagination had been amplified and enlarged. I felt that I knew things I hadn’t known before, and I felt larger than before. How was it possible that something I’d created from my own being was now larger than my being? Is it possible that the created can create its creator? I was baffled and pleased at the same time, although that pleasure eventually led to certain displeasures.
It was not only Me. All of us felt that we had been changed. Our sense of ourselves had changed. Our perceptions had changed. For example, the Void now seemed even more empty than before. The Void, of course, had always been absolutely empty of all things, a perfection of absence. For eons of unmeasured time, Uncle Deva, Aunt Penelope, and I had rejoiced in the total emptiness of the Void. That emptiness, that complete nothingness, was one of the central and eternal absolutes of existence. That nothingness was the starting point of all action and thought, in fact, was the background that defined action and thought, that defined
somethingness
. We had all felt, without articulating the feeling, that the Void might actually be necessary for our existence. As the total emptiness of the Void was clearly an essential part of its nature, we celebrated that emptiness.
Now, however, after we had all made a number of excursions into the new universe and witnessed the extraordinary material things being made, the sacred emptiness of the Void did not bring the same pleasure it had in the past. We were—if I dare say it—even
dissatisfied
with the Void. For my own part, when I moved through the Void, I now keenly noticed what was not there. Not in the abstract sense, but in the actual and material sense, as now I could compare nothingness to atoms and electrons, to spiral galaxies and long trails of luminescent gas, to stars exploding and spewing their elements into space. I could not help but feel a bit disappointed in the
plainness
of our habitat in the Void.
Aunt Penelope did not take the same delight in gathering up little pieces of the Void for her personal preoccupations. What’s this? she whined during a recent outing as we strolled through the Void. You know what that is, said Uncle Deva. It is a scrap of emptiness that you will take back home and put to some good use. But it is nothing! said Aunt P. Yes, said Uncle, it is precisely nothing. It is a nice piece of nothingness. Perhaps you can make a dress from it. No, said my aunt. I will not. It is truly nothing. It is really nothing. I want to make a dress from the galaxies and stars. Oh, what a magnificent dress that would be! I would shine, and everyone would want a dress like mine. Nephew, my aunt said to me, can you please be a good nephew and bring back some material from that universe. I do not need a lot. Uncle looked at me with disapproval and annoyance. Do not butt into this, Deva! said Aunt P. This doesn’t concern you. The material in the universe should stay in the universe, said Uncle Deva. Everything has its own place. Don’t be so self-righteous, said Aunt P. Just a little while ago, if I remember correctly, you were saying that you would like to look at a few mountains now and then on our walks through the Void. Don’t deny it. You always exaggerate, said Uncle. I asked for only
one
mountain. Not mountains
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