pulling my knees up into my chest. The tears started falling, silently tracing paths down my cheeks. For a few glorious hours, I had thought I was going places. I thought I was going to observe a high-profile murder case. My acceptance to Harvard was practically assured. The scholarship was in my pocket.
Now it was all just sand on the wind. Painful and messy.
I couldn't believe Smith picked Alexa over me. She was the last person that should be going to Texas. She could barely remember what a jury was called, let alone be in the same room as one. He probably picked her because she would look good on camera. She was tall and beautiful, especially when compared to a short, little paralegal with too much excitement in her eyes.
I wiped my cheek with the palm of my hand, trying to wipe away the sadness and bitterness with the tears. I hoped Alexa showed Smith her true colors. The idea of her ruining the entire murder case with her ineptness was appealing, except for the part that it wouldn't be Alexa's name that was ruined. It would be Smith's. He was an excellent attorney and I didn't want to see Alexa take someone of his skill down because she was an idiot.
The unfairness ached like an open wound. I had worked so hard. I deserved this chance. Even though murder trials weren't where my legal interests lay, I had been excited. It would have been the experience of a lifetime. Instead I was just going to stay in Chicago and pray that I had enough on my resume to get into a good law school, let alone have a shot at Harvard.
I took a deep shaky breath. At least I wouldn't have to deal with Alexa and Calvin while they were at the trial. My life would certainly be easier without having to be their step-n-fetch-it. I might actually go home on time without them here.
Except I didn't want to go home. The law firm, the courthouse—they were more my home than my apartment. I was made for the legal world. I ached with betrayal and loss. Everything I wanted in life was crumbling apart and I didn't even have a basket to put the pieces in.
I wiped another set of tears from my cheeks and hugged my knees in tighter. This isn't the end of the world, it just feels like it. My Mom used to tell me that all the time when I was a kid. This too shall pass. I knew it was true, but for now, I just wished it didn't hurt so much.
***
“I didn't know anyone else knew about this spot.”
I looked up from my secret desk in the library in surprise. The late afternoon sun reflected warmth across Kathryn McDonald's stern features. She had a large ceramic mug and a legal pad in her hands.
“Ms. McDonald,” I stuttered, quickly gathering my things and closing my laptop. “Let me get out of your way.”
She waved a hand through the air to negate me. “No, no, don't get up. You were here first.” She smiled and pulled a chair over with her free hand. I sat back down, suddenly nervous. “Actually, I was looking for you.”
I had already been told by one partner that my dreams were gone. I wasn't looking forward to round two. I was probably going to be fired. Why else would Kathryn McDonald be looking for me?
“I'm sorry I wasn't at my desk.” I just needed a chance to explain myself. Maybe I could still manage to keep my job. I didn't have the current “Grooming the Future Generation” option anymore, but I wasn't ready to leave the firm either. “I just couldn't concentrate down there, so I brought my work up here, and-”
“It's a good place to work,” Ms. McDonald agreed, cutting off my nervous babble. She set her legal pad down on the edge of the desk and took a sip of tea. She frowned down at it and blew on the steam. It must have been too hot.
“Ms. McDonald, I'm sorry if I bothered you last night. I shouldn't have gone over the associates' heads like that, but I thought you should have the information and—”
“Lena,” Ms. McDonald said gently, cutting me off again. She placed on of her hands on mine. “You're not in
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