longed to hear reverberated through his heart.
“Do you want me to?” he asked just as quietly. He was pressing her, but he desperately needed to hear her say it.
“Yes,” came her simple answer. “I need to talk with you.”
“I can be there about three o’clock or so. Will that be convenient for you?” Shane forced himself to be cool and without emotion. He didn’t want to press his luck or his chance at what might happen. “I look forward to seeing you,” he added, and he meant that.
“Okay.” That was it. She hung up the phone.
Three hours later, he knocked on her door; she answered immediately. As he stepped into her kitchen, she stood in front of him with her hands by her side as if waiting for him to make the first move. Submissive , he thought. He reached for her hand and pulled her to him, holding her tight, transferring his approval directly to her. Gina’s hands remained by her sides.
She stepped back from him and began what seemed to be a practiced speech. “I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispered. “I don’t want to lose my family, my father that is. He has worked all his life to let me become who I am today. I can’t turn my back on him, on that, what he’s given me.” She looked down at the floor as she talked; Shane was still mesmerized by her beauty and her softness. “Maybe he’s right,” she continued. “Maybe I do belong more with my own kind, my culture. People think we are after Americans for what we can get, and my father sees this intercultural thing as a slap against my heritage. He has a point.”
Shane waited for her to go on, but she didn’t. “I want what is best for you, that’s all,” he returned.
“I know that,” Gina admitted. “I know you are that kind of person.” She lifted her eyes to him. “But, I also know that you have lost at this love game once, and I don’t want to put you through it again. I can’t separate myself from my family, but I don’t want to lose what we have in the process. It’s an impossible situation for me, and I just can’t sort it out.”
“If you want to give it a try, we will work through the thing with your father. I promise I’ll be with you through it all, if that is what you want me to do. There’s no rush. Trust me on that. I’m not going anywhere. It’s taken me two years to find someone worth wanting to share my life with. You are that person, Gina. I can wait. Just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it. I’m here for you, for us.”
“I want to believe that,” she answered. “You’re who I want and all I need, but my father isn’t in the best of health, and I don’t want to be saddled with guilt over following my heart and not my heritage. Mother loves you, that’s obvious. He wouldn’t admit it if he saw you as a positive in my life. Too wrapped up in that damn culture thing; too selfish to let someone else be happy. But, he’s worked hard to give me a life; I owe him for that. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
“I understand,” Shane said. “I’m having some trouble dealing with the memory of Amanda, too. Like using the guest room to sleep with you instead of the bed I shared with her. It’s hard to make changes and decisions when your heart and reality aren’t on the same page. We can work this out somehow, if that is what you really want. If you need more time, we can do that, too.”
“No,” Gina replied, stepping toward him and taking his hand. “No, this is our time. I’ve missed you!” She kissed him on the cheek with a big smile. As easily as that, they were locked in a tight embrace, each locking into their emotions, their wants and their love.
She took his hand and led him to the bedroom the same as she had done before. Quietly, they undressed each other and climbed into bed. It was natural to them, so much of what they each needed and wanted; this brief separation had not changed that. More than before, this was their consummation of
“Do you want me to?” he asked just as quietly. He was pressing her, but he desperately needed to hear her say it.
“Yes,” came her simple answer. “I need to talk with you.”
“I can be there about three o’clock or so. Will that be convenient for you?” Shane forced himself to be cool and without emotion. He didn’t want to press his luck or his chance at what might happen. “I look forward to seeing you,” he added, and he meant that.
“Okay.” That was it. She hung up the phone.
Three hours later, he knocked on her door; she answered immediately. As he stepped into her kitchen, she stood in front of him with her hands by her side as if waiting for him to make the first move. Submissive , he thought. He reached for her hand and pulled her to him, holding her tight, transferring his approval directly to her. Gina’s hands remained by her sides.
She stepped back from him and began what seemed to be a practiced speech. “I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispered. “I don’t want to lose my family, my father that is. He has worked all his life to let me become who I am today. I can’t turn my back on him, on that, what he’s given me.” She looked down at the floor as she talked; Shane was still mesmerized by her beauty and her softness. “Maybe he’s right,” she continued. “Maybe I do belong more with my own kind, my culture. People think we are after Americans for what we can get, and my father sees this intercultural thing as a slap against my heritage. He has a point.”
Shane waited for her to go on, but she didn’t. “I want what is best for you, that’s all,” he returned.
“I know that,” Gina admitted. “I know you are that kind of person.” She lifted her eyes to him. “But, I also know that you have lost at this love game once, and I don’t want to put you through it again. I can’t separate myself from my family, but I don’t want to lose what we have in the process. It’s an impossible situation for me, and I just can’t sort it out.”
“If you want to give it a try, we will work through the thing with your father. I promise I’ll be with you through it all, if that is what you want me to do. There’s no rush. Trust me on that. I’m not going anywhere. It’s taken me two years to find someone worth wanting to share my life with. You are that person, Gina. I can wait. Just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it. I’m here for you, for us.”
“I want to believe that,” she answered. “You’re who I want and all I need, but my father isn’t in the best of health, and I don’t want to be saddled with guilt over following my heart and not my heritage. Mother loves you, that’s obvious. He wouldn’t admit it if he saw you as a positive in my life. Too wrapped up in that damn culture thing; too selfish to let someone else be happy. But, he’s worked hard to give me a life; I owe him for that. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
“I understand,” Shane said. “I’m having some trouble dealing with the memory of Amanda, too. Like using the guest room to sleep with you instead of the bed I shared with her. It’s hard to make changes and decisions when your heart and reality aren’t on the same page. We can work this out somehow, if that is what you really want. If you need more time, we can do that, too.”
“No,” Gina replied, stepping toward him and taking his hand. “No, this is our time. I’ve missed you!” She kissed him on the cheek with a big smile. As easily as that, they were locked in a tight embrace, each locking into their emotions, their wants and their love.
She took his hand and led him to the bedroom the same as she had done before. Quietly, they undressed each other and climbed into bed. It was natural to them, so much of what they each needed and wanted; this brief separation had not changed that. More than before, this was their consummation of