nunchucks
everything.”
Sniper 3
wasn’t comfortable with the turn of events. “Team Leader, am I supposed to go
and give it a mouth to mouth..?” he said sarcastically before taking off.
“Ah. Thinking
on your feet... if necessary, yes. But use your water bottle first. Just, just
splash the tiger’s face…”
“Ya good
thinking Team Leader. Sniper 3… splash the water gently,” added Hu Gong.
Hu Gong
wasn’t done thinking yet. He quickly went down the stairs and grabbed the Tower
keeper, who could have easily passed for a troll and shook him, “Do you have a dog?
A guard dog?”
“No sir. I
ate it for lunch a couple of weeks ago. It’s hard to get supplies around here,”
replied the stoic Troll.
“I
understand. You got any other animals? Bet you stock up.”
The Troll
thought for a while before answering. “I got a black tomcat… found him at a
junkyard up in Hunchun.”
“Excellent.
Take him out to that black jeep, my team leader will take him. Fast.”
“Yes Sir.”
Sniper 3 was
having a hard time resuscitating Zoya despite his elite skills. Water, kicking,
tail pulling, dragging, rib tickling, cooing in its ear, nothing worked.
Despite clear orders to go mouth-to-mouth, he had refrained. But then nobody
held it against him.
In the
end, Sniper 3 was able to make out a heartbeat.
“So Sniper
3 whats the status?” checked in Hu Gong.
“Still
alive, but barely breathing.”
“Well, you
better pray to a god that you don’t believe in,” replied Hu, as he finalized
his super sophisticated plan with the Team Leader.
As Hu and
Premier Xiannian watched, the Tower Troll carried the struggling tomcat to the
Team Leader’s black jeep. Soon they heard the Team Leader cursing out his
mother in law. That there was one feisty little cat.
“Sir, I
request we take the Tower Troll with us. The cat’s a demon.”
“Ya,
whatever. Hurry the fuck up. Remember to take some lubricant. Oil, Vaseline
anything… water might not do it.”
“Yes Sir.”
The seven
snipers, the team leader and the Troll stood nervously around the dormant tiger.
The Team Leader knelt and checked Zoya’s tracking collar. It was loose. The
tiger was emaciated due to starvation. Thus the Chinese snipers were able to remove
the collar, without any oils or lubes.
Next, the Troll
held the tomcat down as Sniper 1 reduced the size of the tiger’s collar. He
reduced it to fit the tom cat’s torso. The damage and resistance caused by the kitty
in comparison to the tiger was poetic.
After
securing the collar onto the tomcat, the Troll and Sniper 1 hurried to the
border and hurled the cat, over the Trans-Siberian railway tracks...
into Russia.
The cat,
obviously landed on its feet and snarled back at the Chinese men. It had had
enough with the People and the Republic and their persecution of its kin. Catty
rumors swirled that the tomcat’s cousins had gone down as brunch at a Beijing
bistro.
The cat
said, “Adios mofos” as in “Meooow meow”, flipped off the men with its paw and walked
away into Russia. It hoped to find a grandmotherly babushka and live happily
ever after.
Federal Space Agency, Moscow
It was
midnight in Moscow. It was always midnight in Moscow when things went sour. The
Tiger Division was being monitored by a Yuri. They were currently monitoring
four tigers - the females Zhenya, Zoya and the males Alexi and Arkady. Alexi, Zhenya
and Arkady had been set free on the Amur, while Zoya had been sent to Primorsky
Krai in the Far East.
Initially
Alexi, Arkady and Zhenya had spent a lot of time together, exploring the taiga
and having threesomes. But after the initial fun, they gone their separate ways...
in search of meaning of life, as tigers obviously preferred solitude and deep
thinking, unlike the partying idiot lions. The trio were now more than 100
miles apart, surviving and growing, as evidenced from their tracking data and the
occasional
everything.”
Sniper 3
wasn’t comfortable with the turn of events. “Team Leader, am I supposed to go
and give it a mouth to mouth..?” he said sarcastically before taking off.
“Ah. Thinking
on your feet... if necessary, yes. But use your water bottle first. Just, just
splash the tiger’s face…”
“Ya good
thinking Team Leader. Sniper 3… splash the water gently,” added Hu Gong.
Hu Gong
wasn’t done thinking yet. He quickly went down the stairs and grabbed the Tower
keeper, who could have easily passed for a troll and shook him, “Do you have a dog?
A guard dog?”
“No sir. I
ate it for lunch a couple of weeks ago. It’s hard to get supplies around here,”
replied the stoic Troll.
“I
understand. You got any other animals? Bet you stock up.”
The Troll
thought for a while before answering. “I got a black tomcat… found him at a
junkyard up in Hunchun.”
“Excellent.
Take him out to that black jeep, my team leader will take him. Fast.”
“Yes Sir.”
Sniper 3 was
having a hard time resuscitating Zoya despite his elite skills. Water, kicking,
tail pulling, dragging, rib tickling, cooing in its ear, nothing worked.
Despite clear orders to go mouth-to-mouth, he had refrained. But then nobody
held it against him.
In the
end, Sniper 3 was able to make out a heartbeat.
“So Sniper
3 whats the status?” checked in Hu Gong.
“Still
alive, but barely breathing.”
“Well, you
better pray to a god that you don’t believe in,” replied Hu, as he finalized
his super sophisticated plan with the Team Leader.
As Hu and
Premier Xiannian watched, the Tower Troll carried the struggling tomcat to the
Team Leader’s black jeep. Soon they heard the Team Leader cursing out his
mother in law. That there was one feisty little cat.
“Sir, I
request we take the Tower Troll with us. The cat’s a demon.”
“Ya,
whatever. Hurry the fuck up. Remember to take some lubricant. Oil, Vaseline
anything… water might not do it.”
“Yes Sir.”
The seven
snipers, the team leader and the Troll stood nervously around the dormant tiger.
The Team Leader knelt and checked Zoya’s tracking collar. It was loose. The
tiger was emaciated due to starvation. Thus the Chinese snipers were able to remove
the collar, without any oils or lubes.
Next, the Troll
held the tomcat down as Sniper 1 reduced the size of the tiger’s collar. He
reduced it to fit the tom cat’s torso. The damage and resistance caused by the kitty
in comparison to the tiger was poetic.
After
securing the collar onto the tomcat, the Troll and Sniper 1 hurried to the
border and hurled the cat, over the Trans-Siberian railway tracks...
into Russia.
The cat,
obviously landed on its feet and snarled back at the Chinese men. It had had
enough with the People and the Republic and their persecution of its kin. Catty
rumors swirled that the tomcat’s cousins had gone down as brunch at a Beijing
bistro.
The cat
said, “Adios mofos” as in “Meooow meow”, flipped off the men with its paw and walked
away into Russia. It hoped to find a grandmotherly babushka and live happily
ever after.
Federal Space Agency, Moscow
It was
midnight in Moscow. It was always midnight in Moscow when things went sour. The
Tiger Division was being monitored by a Yuri. They were currently monitoring
four tigers - the females Zhenya, Zoya and the males Alexi and Arkady. Alexi, Zhenya
and Arkady had been set free on the Amur, while Zoya had been sent to Primorsky
Krai in the Far East.
Initially
Alexi, Arkady and Zhenya had spent a lot of time together, exploring the taiga
and having threesomes. But after the initial fun, they gone their separate ways...
in search of meaning of life, as tigers obviously preferred solitude and deep
thinking, unlike the partying idiot lions. The trio were now more than 100
miles apart, surviving and growing, as evidenced from their tracking data and the
occasional
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