know, when you fell from heaven?’”
“Well, did it?” he asks with a wide grin and a slimy wink that makes my skin crawl.
Great. I’m stuck with this guy.
Chandra subtly nudges me with her elbow and smiles in my direction, encouraging the oh-so hopeful and likely never-going-to-happen mating between her boyfriend’s roommate and myself.
This should be a fun evening.
Over the next hour and two beers, I listen to Anthony’s not-so-subtle come-ons between touting on and on about his greatness and egotistical gloating about how he will be taking over his father’s architectural firm once he’s done with school. And, in case I missed it the first five times he mentioned it, he boasts once again that it’s the largest firm in the tri-county area.
La-di-fucking-da.
“They’re having a fundraising ball in a few weeks,” he tells me, referring to his family’s firm…again. “Everyone will be there—the mayor, a few Major League Baseball players, and the governor. It’s the biggest event in the area this season. Of course, I’ll be there to mingle and network. I’ll likely have to spend most of my time occupying the mayor’s son since we went to school together, but it should be fun.” He winks at me…again and plasters a stupid machismo smile across his face. “You should come, too.”
“Excuse me?” I ask, confused.
“To the event. You can be my date.”
“Um…”
This guy is oblivious . It’s been over thirty minutes since I last uttered a word. Has he not noticed?
“You think about it, doll,” he says way too confidently, rising from his chair. “I’m going to use the loo. That’s what they call the restroom in Europe. I’ll be right back.”
He motherfucking winks again— I swear, he must have a tic —and then he crosses the room toward the bar.
Hopefully, when he takes a piss, his head will deflate a little.
While Jeremy is great for Chandra—nice, decent, and normal—it’s painfully obvious that his roommate is a totally douche and nothing I want near my vagina.
“So, what do you think?” Chandra asks when Anthony is out of sight, and Jeremy is talking actively with his friends. “He’s cute, right?”
“Yeah…” I down the rest of my pint. “And totally into himself. Maybe he should date a mirror.”
“Oh, c’mon. He’s not that bad. I thought you two were getting along. I heard you laughing.”
I give her an are-you-serious look. “I was laughing at him, not with him or beside him. There’s a total difference, and unfortunately, I don’t think he could tell.”
“Maybe he’s nervous. You can be a little intimidating sometimes.”
“Even if that were true, I haven’t had a chance to get a word in edgewise. He’s been talking about himself the entire time. I swear to all that is holy, if I hear about his father’s firm one more time, I might stab myself with a fork.” I assess the table. “Just my luck. No forks. Looks like I might have to beg you to poke me in the eye with your finger.”
“I’m sorry,” she says, truly remorseful. “I thought you two would hit it off. Honest. He’s never been like that before when I’ve spoken to him. He’s usually really great. Maybe he’s just had a bad day. You know how that is.”
“True.” I tap my glass with my fingernails. “I’ve had a pretty crappy one myself. Maybe I should call it a night before it gets worse and just go home.”
“At least stay for one more drink,” she insists, “and then I’ll go home with you.”
“I thought you were staying at Jeremy’s place tonight?”
“A girl has every right to change her mind,” she singsongs. “It’s our prerogative.”
“You’re such a dork.” I shake my head, laughing at her attempt to cheer me up. “One more drink.”
“Good.”
“I’m going to use the restroom and get a refill,” I say, emptying myself from the booth, holding the drained glass in my hand. “Do you want anything?”
“Sure,” she says, lifting
“Well, did it?” he asks with a wide grin and a slimy wink that makes my skin crawl.
Great. I’m stuck with this guy.
Chandra subtly nudges me with her elbow and smiles in my direction, encouraging the oh-so hopeful and likely never-going-to-happen mating between her boyfriend’s roommate and myself.
This should be a fun evening.
Over the next hour and two beers, I listen to Anthony’s not-so-subtle come-ons between touting on and on about his greatness and egotistical gloating about how he will be taking over his father’s architectural firm once he’s done with school. And, in case I missed it the first five times he mentioned it, he boasts once again that it’s the largest firm in the tri-county area.
La-di-fucking-da.
“They’re having a fundraising ball in a few weeks,” he tells me, referring to his family’s firm…again. “Everyone will be there—the mayor, a few Major League Baseball players, and the governor. It’s the biggest event in the area this season. Of course, I’ll be there to mingle and network. I’ll likely have to spend most of my time occupying the mayor’s son since we went to school together, but it should be fun.” He winks at me…again and plasters a stupid machismo smile across his face. “You should come, too.”
“Excuse me?” I ask, confused.
“To the event. You can be my date.”
“Um…”
This guy is oblivious . It’s been over thirty minutes since I last uttered a word. Has he not noticed?
“You think about it, doll,” he says way too confidently, rising from his chair. “I’m going to use the loo. That’s what they call the restroom in Europe. I’ll be right back.”
He motherfucking winks again— I swear, he must have a tic —and then he crosses the room toward the bar.
Hopefully, when he takes a piss, his head will deflate a little.
While Jeremy is great for Chandra—nice, decent, and normal—it’s painfully obvious that his roommate is a totally douche and nothing I want near my vagina.
“So, what do you think?” Chandra asks when Anthony is out of sight, and Jeremy is talking actively with his friends. “He’s cute, right?”
“Yeah…” I down the rest of my pint. “And totally into himself. Maybe he should date a mirror.”
“Oh, c’mon. He’s not that bad. I thought you two were getting along. I heard you laughing.”
I give her an are-you-serious look. “I was laughing at him, not with him or beside him. There’s a total difference, and unfortunately, I don’t think he could tell.”
“Maybe he’s nervous. You can be a little intimidating sometimes.”
“Even if that were true, I haven’t had a chance to get a word in edgewise. He’s been talking about himself the entire time. I swear to all that is holy, if I hear about his father’s firm one more time, I might stab myself with a fork.” I assess the table. “Just my luck. No forks. Looks like I might have to beg you to poke me in the eye with your finger.”
“I’m sorry,” she says, truly remorseful. “I thought you two would hit it off. Honest. He’s never been like that before when I’ve spoken to him. He’s usually really great. Maybe he’s just had a bad day. You know how that is.”
“True.” I tap my glass with my fingernails. “I’ve had a pretty crappy one myself. Maybe I should call it a night before it gets worse and just go home.”
“At least stay for one more drink,” she insists, “and then I’ll go home with you.”
“I thought you were staying at Jeremy’s place tonight?”
“A girl has every right to change her mind,” she singsongs. “It’s our prerogative.”
“You’re such a dork.” I shake my head, laughing at her attempt to cheer me up. “One more drink.”
“Good.”
“I’m going to use the restroom and get a refill,” I say, emptying myself from the booth, holding the drained glass in my hand. “Do you want anything?”
“Sure,” she says, lifting
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