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Book: Moon Shadow: The Totally True Love Adventure Series (Volume 1) by R.L. Fox
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Authors: R.L. Fox
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the twenty-dollar bill, walk into my bedroom and close the door.
My mother had told me many times, “The strongest memory is weaker than the palest ink.” Perhaps I will find her diary and come upon a truth, something holy, a revelation that outweighs all my life, all my sexual and existential frustration. It’s like I’m private detective J.J. Gittes, played by Jack Nicholson in the classic film
Chinatown
, searching for the one clue that will unravel a mystery involving adultery and murder.
I believe my mother’s diary belongs to me. I can see now a way to discover the main impetus, the single event, if it exists, behind her suicide. I hope to make certain I was not at fault. For that recompense I will put up with my father—until I can prove to the world that the congressman caused my mother’s death. The idea of confronting my father is intimidating and seems potentially dangerous. This is not the time to approach him. Not until I’ve worked things out for myself. Then like a ravenous mountain lion I will tear him apart and leave him to bleed to death.
7
Sarah
Thursday evening, July 31
El Cajon Valley
I ’m smiling uncertainly. When Julie, wife of Mr. Rosen’s eldest son, Mike, says she’s sorry I hardly hear her words and hardly know that I’m using my white cloth napkin to hold off the miniature flood of rum and lime juice headed in my direction across the tabletop. Instead I am concentrating my mind, which has taken flight somewhere above the clouds and absconded with my normal hearing and seeing functions, on the fact that I’m having dinner, in the main dining room of Marechiaro’s Ristorante, with my future dad miles from the Island and only inches from his youngest son, Dan, who is seventeen.
I lean back in my chair, as a waiter hastily cleans up the mess. While studying Dan, I’ve blundered into eye contact a few times. I know we have a wavelength. Our eyes will meet, and I’ll smile, and he’ll smile back and then I’ll look away. With that self-consciousness of mine, I am a teenager drowned in self-interest, always acutely aware of new situations, new knowledge, blinded to all but each new moment’s tendrils. Good gosh, where did I read that?
I’ve searched Dan’s big, deep brown eyes, when unobserved, and caught a glimpse of ... of something that seems to shroud his real personality. Inside, he’s been wounded somehow. I might never pierce through, but I want to. I want the secret knowledge that will bring me closer to Dan. When a boy isn’t perfect, he’s a lot more perfect, I believe. Dan is just my size, in both mind and body. I don’t know how I know it, I just do.
As of this evening I’ve begun to think that romance is my mission in life. My heart, shaped exactly like a valentine, is telling me so. I can’t remember ever having met someone to whom I am so irresistibly drawn. Totally.
Daniel Rosen is flaming hot, I’ve decided, gorgeous cover-model hot. He’s mysterious, too, and I find my inability to read him alluring, exciting. Dan seems independent-minded. He’s spoken very little tonight, like he’s refusing a role in the dumb theater of the dinner table, pleasantly blasé. I can’t say for sure if these qualifications are good or bad, because I’ve never had a boyfriend. And that’s how I’m beginning to think of Dan. I’ve fallen in love with him, unconditionally and irrevocably. But, the problem will be that when my mom marries Mr. Rosen, Dan is supposed to be just my clunky big brother.
I’ve also been keeping an eye on Julie, seated directly across from me. When Mr. Rosen, Frank, introduced my mother and I, Julie had this sickened look on her face. She’s been staring furtively at my mother and at me with a weird evil look ever since. I feel as if I’m sitting in front of one of those portraits with eyes that follow you around when you move.
What is Julie’s problem? She seems like a sly little flirt. It’s as if she’s jealous of my mother and
My mother had told me many times, “The strongest memory is weaker than the palest ink.” Perhaps I will find her diary and come upon a truth, something holy, a revelation that outweighs all my life, all my sexual and existential frustration. It’s like I’m private detective J.J. Gittes, played by Jack Nicholson in the classic film
Chinatown
, searching for the one clue that will unravel a mystery involving adultery and murder.
I believe my mother’s diary belongs to me. I can see now a way to discover the main impetus, the single event, if it exists, behind her suicide. I hope to make certain I was not at fault. For that recompense I will put up with my father—until I can prove to the world that the congressman caused my mother’s death. The idea of confronting my father is intimidating and seems potentially dangerous. This is not the time to approach him. Not until I’ve worked things out for myself. Then like a ravenous mountain lion I will tear him apart and leave him to bleed to death.
7
Sarah
Thursday evening, July 31
El Cajon Valley
I ’m smiling uncertainly. When Julie, wife of Mr. Rosen’s eldest son, Mike, says she’s sorry I hardly hear her words and hardly know that I’m using my white cloth napkin to hold off the miniature flood of rum and lime juice headed in my direction across the tabletop. Instead I am concentrating my mind, which has taken flight somewhere above the clouds and absconded with my normal hearing and seeing functions, on the fact that I’m having dinner, in the main dining room of Marechiaro’s Ristorante, with my future dad miles from the Island and only inches from his youngest son, Dan, who is seventeen.
I lean back in my chair, as a waiter hastily cleans up the mess. While studying Dan, I’ve blundered into eye contact a few times. I know we have a wavelength. Our eyes will meet, and I’ll smile, and he’ll smile back and then I’ll look away. With that self-consciousness of mine, I am a teenager drowned in self-interest, always acutely aware of new situations, new knowledge, blinded to all but each new moment’s tendrils. Good gosh, where did I read that?
I’ve searched Dan’s big, deep brown eyes, when unobserved, and caught a glimpse of ... of something that seems to shroud his real personality. Inside, he’s been wounded somehow. I might never pierce through, but I want to. I want the secret knowledge that will bring me closer to Dan. When a boy isn’t perfect, he’s a lot more perfect, I believe. Dan is just my size, in both mind and body. I don’t know how I know it, I just do.
As of this evening I’ve begun to think that romance is my mission in life. My heart, shaped exactly like a valentine, is telling me so. I can’t remember ever having met someone to whom I am so irresistibly drawn. Totally.
Daniel Rosen is flaming hot, I’ve decided, gorgeous cover-model hot. He’s mysterious, too, and I find my inability to read him alluring, exciting. Dan seems independent-minded. He’s spoken very little tonight, like he’s refusing a role in the dumb theater of the dinner table, pleasantly blasé. I can’t say for sure if these qualifications are good or bad, because I’ve never had a boyfriend. And that’s how I’m beginning to think of Dan. I’ve fallen in love with him, unconditionally and irrevocably. But, the problem will be that when my mom marries Mr. Rosen, Dan is supposed to be just my clunky big brother.
I’ve also been keeping an eye on Julie, seated directly across from me. When Mr. Rosen, Frank, introduced my mother and I, Julie had this sickened look on her face. She’s been staring furtively at my mother and at me with a weird evil look ever since. I feel as if I’m sitting in front of one of those portraits with eyes that follow you around when you move.
What is Julie’s problem? She seems like a sly little flirt. It’s as if she’s jealous of my mother and
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