Read Online Monsieur Pamplemousse and the French Solution by Michael Bond - Free Book Online
Authors: Michael Bond
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Besides, they have had their own share of troubles recently.
‘There was the unhappy occasion when they awarded rosettes to a restaurant in Belgium that hadn’t even opened. The whole edition had to be pulped.’
‘A singularly unfortunate oversight on someone’s part,’ said Monsieur Pamplemousse dryly.
‘These things happen even in the best-regulated houses,’ said Monsieur Leclercq.
‘However, it is something we couldn’t possibly afford. We do not enjoy the same financial backing as Michelin. They enjoy the luxury of having their tyre sales to fall back on; as large and as comfortable as Monsieur Bibendum himself.
‘We rely solely on the proceeds from the sale of Le Guide to those people who are looking for somewhere suitable to stay and who are interested in food.
‘Then there was all the fuss when one of their inspectors wanted to write a book about what he chose to call “goings-on behind the scenes” …’
‘An ex-inspector,’ corrected Monsieur Pamplemousse. ‘Pascal Rémy.’
‘ Exactement . We shall never know the truth. They also value anonymity, although perhaps not quite as strictly as we do.
‘Unlike Michelin, we do not announce where we are from at the end of a meal. It has been that way ever since that ill-fated occasion soon after I joined Le Guide when I revealed the purpose of my visit to the owner of a restaurant in Belfort who was passing off a run-of-the-mill chicken as Poularde de Bresse. If you recall, he tried to murder me. After that our founder made total anonymity the rule.’
‘And Gault Millau?’
‘There was a time when they made us all look toour laurels. Their off-beat reports and their inspired journalistic use of the term “nouvelle cuisine” set the pace for a while. But since the two partners retired, it has had more owners than Elizabeth Taylor has had husbands.
‘For a time Pudlowski was our main rival in Paris, but now he has made the quantum leap to covering the whole of France he has his hands full.
‘No, Pamplemousse, other forces are at play, and we must on no account give way to them.
‘ Le Guide ’s responsibility is twofold. Firstly, to the reader. Secondly, and of equal importance, we owe it to the establishments we choose to recommend. We must offer them our support and encouragement. In order to do that, we not only need to preserve our independence, but in order to criticise others, we must be above criticism ourselves.’
A sudden gust of wind sent odd scraps of paper flying in the street below them, effectively bringing all conversation to an end.
The Director gave a shiver, pressed the remote control to open the sliding doors, then turned abruptly on his heels and led the way back into his office.
Monsieur Pamplemousse signalled Pommes Frites to follow.
Pausing for a moment while he operated the sliding door, Monsieur Leclercq gazed reverently at the founder’s portrait.
‘Above all, Aristide,’ he said, ‘we must not let him down. Probity is the word I am seeking. Probity wasMonsieur Hippolyte Duval’s middle name, and no matter what, we must ensure Le Guide continues to reflect the high standards he laid down all those years ago.
‘In the words of the President of the United States of America, Pamplemousse,’ he said grandly, ‘“Failure to do so will not happen on my watch”.’
Monsieur Pamplemousse began to wish he hadn’t mentioned Napoleon earlier. As it was, the Director suffered from an image issue, but the close proximity of the Emperor’s tomb often brought out the worst in him.
‘Perhaps,’ he said thoughtfully, ‘we should take heart from the fact that even Monsieur Duval’s life wasn’t entirely blameless.’
He glanced up at the portrait, remembering the occasion when Monsieur Leclercq had instructed him to deliver a Renault Twingo to an address in Roanne, where the founder’s illegitimate daughter lived. You never could tell.
As he had said at the time, ‘Still waters run deep’.
The
‘There was the unhappy occasion when they awarded rosettes to a restaurant in Belgium that hadn’t even opened. The whole edition had to be pulped.’
‘A singularly unfortunate oversight on someone’s part,’ said Monsieur Pamplemousse dryly.
‘These things happen even in the best-regulated houses,’ said Monsieur Leclercq.
‘However, it is something we couldn’t possibly afford. We do not enjoy the same financial backing as Michelin. They enjoy the luxury of having their tyre sales to fall back on; as large and as comfortable as Monsieur Bibendum himself.
‘We rely solely on the proceeds from the sale of Le Guide to those people who are looking for somewhere suitable to stay and who are interested in food.
‘Then there was all the fuss when one of their inspectors wanted to write a book about what he chose to call “goings-on behind the scenes” …’
‘An ex-inspector,’ corrected Monsieur Pamplemousse. ‘Pascal Rémy.’
‘ Exactement . We shall never know the truth. They also value anonymity, although perhaps not quite as strictly as we do.
‘Unlike Michelin, we do not announce where we are from at the end of a meal. It has been that way ever since that ill-fated occasion soon after I joined Le Guide when I revealed the purpose of my visit to the owner of a restaurant in Belfort who was passing off a run-of-the-mill chicken as Poularde de Bresse. If you recall, he tried to murder me. After that our founder made total anonymity the rule.’
‘And Gault Millau?’
‘There was a time when they made us all look toour laurels. Their off-beat reports and their inspired journalistic use of the term “nouvelle cuisine” set the pace for a while. But since the two partners retired, it has had more owners than Elizabeth Taylor has had husbands.
‘For a time Pudlowski was our main rival in Paris, but now he has made the quantum leap to covering the whole of France he has his hands full.
‘No, Pamplemousse, other forces are at play, and we must on no account give way to them.
‘ Le Guide ’s responsibility is twofold. Firstly, to the reader. Secondly, and of equal importance, we owe it to the establishments we choose to recommend. We must offer them our support and encouragement. In order to do that, we not only need to preserve our independence, but in order to criticise others, we must be above criticism ourselves.’
A sudden gust of wind sent odd scraps of paper flying in the street below them, effectively bringing all conversation to an end.
The Director gave a shiver, pressed the remote control to open the sliding doors, then turned abruptly on his heels and led the way back into his office.
Monsieur Pamplemousse signalled Pommes Frites to follow.
Pausing for a moment while he operated the sliding door, Monsieur Leclercq gazed reverently at the founder’s portrait.
‘Above all, Aristide,’ he said, ‘we must not let him down. Probity is the word I am seeking. Probity wasMonsieur Hippolyte Duval’s middle name, and no matter what, we must ensure Le Guide continues to reflect the high standards he laid down all those years ago.
‘In the words of the President of the United States of America, Pamplemousse,’ he said grandly, ‘“Failure to do so will not happen on my watch”.’
Monsieur Pamplemousse began to wish he hadn’t mentioned Napoleon earlier. As it was, the Director suffered from an image issue, but the close proximity of the Emperor’s tomb often brought out the worst in him.
‘Perhaps,’ he said thoughtfully, ‘we should take heart from the fact that even Monsieur Duval’s life wasn’t entirely blameless.’
He glanced up at the portrait, remembering the occasion when Monsieur Leclercq had instructed him to deliver a Renault Twingo to an address in Roanne, where the founder’s illegitimate daughter lived. You never could tell.
As he had said at the time, ‘Still waters run deep’.
The
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