her hair.
‘And if it wasn’t for the fact that having braids in your hair looks Totally Mega Lush, I am really not altogether positive that I will be going through that all over again in a
hurry.’
Her mum had tugged and pulled so hard that Flo said she was sure her eyes were going to actually fall out of her head and roll on to the floor. ‘It felt like my head was truly bleeding. I
said to Mum, “You will have to take me to the Accident and Emergency place which is called A and E and they will make you sign a form to say that you have hurt your own
child.”’
But Mrs Small had not been worried about going to the A and E. She had been more worried about Flo ‘looking like a rubbish tip’ and had washed Flo’s hair twice, which was not
something Flo liked happening even once. The result of all the pulling and brushing and washing was that Flo’s hair was extremely fly-away-ish the next day.
‘Well, it serves you right, Flora Eleanor Small!’ Her mum was still going on about it when they reached the pedestrian crossing right outside the school gates. ‘I mean, I do
not wish to be rude about your uncle’s girlfriend, Felix, but doing Flora’s hair like that on a school night? It is quite obvious that she does not have children of her own! And, Flora,
you KNOW your teachers will not put up with—’
‘Oh-KAY, Mum!’ Flora interjected. ‘Gotta go now – the bell’s gone.’
Flo rolled her eyes at Felix as they leaped from the car, dragging their rucksacks behind them.
‘Honestly, Mum is being quite impossible at the moment,’ Flo huffed as she and Felix made it to the classroom with seconds to spare. ‘And you should have heard her ranting when
I just
mentioned
that it might be nice to have an orangutan as a pet. I think to start with she thought my Extremely Brilliant Idea about the orang-utan was all a big joke. She laughed even
more than a hyena when I told her that the reason for my Extremely Brilliant Idea was that Silver had said I had possibly been a monkey in a previous life, so it made sense that I would totally and
utterly understand a monkey’s brainwaves. And then Mum realized that I was absolutely deadly serious, so she just screamed at me about how it was a shame that I didn’t put as much
effort into my General Good Behaviour as I did into coming up with crazy idiotic make-believe plans and that I was old enough now to really know better.’
‘Wow,’ said Felix. His eyes were out on stalks. He was sorely tempted to correct Flo over the minor detail that it had in fact been
his
Extremely Brilliant Idea to adopt an
orang-utan instead of an elephant. But then he remembered Flo’s mood from the night before.
‘So,’ he said tentatively, ‘you reckon . . . an orang-utan?’
Flo arched one eyebrow at Felix and said, ‘Absolutely. An orang-utan will make a perfect pet. After all you can play games with an orangutan, Silver says. Silver says they are so
intelligent. That would make sense about me being an ape in a previous life. Did you know they can actually work a computer? And Silver says that they make tools like humans do. Orang-utans make
umbrellas for themselves out of big leaves when it rains, and they use sticks to get honey from beehives. They are very, very brainy. Silver says orang-utans have hands like humans! Not like
– I don’t know –
elephants
, for example, which do not even have hands and are so big and difficult to manage as pets. And they are used to being on their own because they
are Solitary Beasts, so if we adopt one it will not be missing a huge family of other orang-utans, unlike an elephant, which lives in a group so it would miss all its relations. Honestly, who on
earth would want something as huge as an
elephant
for a pet?’ And she roared with laughter as if the whole idea was the most preposterous idea any living person could ever have.
‘Right,’ said Felix.
He couldn’t help thinking that he had been let off very
‘And if it wasn’t for the fact that having braids in your hair looks Totally Mega Lush, I am really not altogether positive that I will be going through that all over again in a
hurry.’
Her mum had tugged and pulled so hard that Flo said she was sure her eyes were going to actually fall out of her head and roll on to the floor. ‘It felt like my head was truly bleeding. I
said to Mum, “You will have to take me to the Accident and Emergency place which is called A and E and they will make you sign a form to say that you have hurt your own
child.”’
But Mrs Small had not been worried about going to the A and E. She had been more worried about Flo ‘looking like a rubbish tip’ and had washed Flo’s hair twice, which was not
something Flo liked happening even once. The result of all the pulling and brushing and washing was that Flo’s hair was extremely fly-away-ish the next day.
‘Well, it serves you right, Flora Eleanor Small!’ Her mum was still going on about it when they reached the pedestrian crossing right outside the school gates. ‘I mean, I do
not wish to be rude about your uncle’s girlfriend, Felix, but doing Flora’s hair like that on a school night? It is quite obvious that she does not have children of her own! And, Flora,
you KNOW your teachers will not put up with—’
‘Oh-KAY, Mum!’ Flora interjected. ‘Gotta go now – the bell’s gone.’
Flo rolled her eyes at Felix as they leaped from the car, dragging their rucksacks behind them.
‘Honestly, Mum is being quite impossible at the moment,’ Flo huffed as she and Felix made it to the classroom with seconds to spare. ‘And you should have heard her ranting when
I just
mentioned
that it might be nice to have an orangutan as a pet. I think to start with she thought my Extremely Brilliant Idea about the orang-utan was all a big joke. She laughed even
more than a hyena when I told her that the reason for my Extremely Brilliant Idea was that Silver had said I had possibly been a monkey in a previous life, so it made sense that I would totally and
utterly understand a monkey’s brainwaves. And then Mum realized that I was absolutely deadly serious, so she just screamed at me about how it was a shame that I didn’t put as much
effort into my General Good Behaviour as I did into coming up with crazy idiotic make-believe plans and that I was old enough now to really know better.’
‘Wow,’ said Felix. His eyes were out on stalks. He was sorely tempted to correct Flo over the minor detail that it had in fact been
his
Extremely Brilliant Idea to adopt an
orang-utan instead of an elephant. But then he remembered Flo’s mood from the night before.
‘So,’ he said tentatively, ‘you reckon . . . an orang-utan?’
Flo arched one eyebrow at Felix and said, ‘Absolutely. An orang-utan will make a perfect pet. After all you can play games with an orangutan, Silver says. Silver says they are so
intelligent. That would make sense about me being an ape in a previous life. Did you know they can actually work a computer? And Silver says that they make tools like humans do. Orang-utans make
umbrellas for themselves out of big leaves when it rains, and they use sticks to get honey from beehives. They are very, very brainy. Silver says orang-utans have hands like humans! Not like
– I don’t know –
elephants
, for example, which do not even have hands and are so big and difficult to manage as pets. And they are used to being on their own because they
are Solitary Beasts, so if we adopt one it will not be missing a huge family of other orang-utans, unlike an elephant, which lives in a group so it would miss all its relations. Honestly, who on
earth would want something as huge as an
elephant
for a pet?’ And she roared with laughter as if the whole idea was the most preposterous idea any living person could ever have.
‘Right,’ said Felix.
He couldn’t help thinking that he had been let off very
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