six weeks!”
A couple of days later I got a phone call from the chairman, who I knew because I had been one of his direct reports. He said, “Hey, Tia, first of all, you should have told me you were pregnant. Secondly, congratulations. Third, don’t worry about your options.” He said, “HR has to write a policy now because I’m sure there will be other women who go on maternity leave.” I couldn’t believe that I was the first one. It was 1978, not 1878!
I think that if I had any regrets in my life, I regret that Daddy and I didn’t understand how hard it was going to be to raise kids and work at the same time. I really had this idea that I could do everything 100 percent—like you can be 100 percent worker, 100 percent mother, and 100 percent wife. And you can’t. It’s impossible. I traveled all the time. I worked long hours. And it was just burning me out. I didn’t know what was going on with you guys. I didn’t feel as connected as I wanted to be. So finally, when you guys were seven and five, I said, That’s it. There’s got to be a better way .
Christine Smallwood: Did you ever have moments where you felt like you regretted leaving work?
Tia: No. I never felt that way. I loved just being with you guys. I mean—this is where I’m going to start to cry—as much as I learned about politics and about work and about myself, I don’t think I learned how to be a real human being until I was with my children and suffered with them and watched what they go through. You would give anything for them. You would give up your life, your career, and your home.You unconditionally love them, and I think that is what made my life complete. So no, I never regretted it.
I just want to put on the record how absolutely delighted I am with you as a human being. I mean, you’re just a wonderful person. You’re compassionate, smart, and insightful, and you are just absolutely delightful to be around.
Christine: I always strive to be more like you—it’s true.
Tia: Keep on being who you are.
Recorded in New York, New York, on February 2, 2008.
WANDA ZOELLER, 56 talks to her partner, SUSAN HERNDON, 51 about her mother, Ethel Zoeller.
Wanda Zoeller: I was the last of six children. I was born in Clarksville, Indiana, at a very small hospital. I was actually delivered in the area where little boys are circumcised, because they didn’t have any space left in any rooms. They shoved my mom off into another room where they kept the clean laundry and circumcised little boys.
I lived a good portion of my growing up—until I was thirteen—in the projects of Louisville. Today it’s considered kind of a rough area, but when we were growing up everybody knew each other and took care of each other.
We had an area in the back of the projects where we’d take our garbage. They’d cut trees, and there’d be piles of trees back there, so some of us kids would go back there and make forts out of these tree branches and such. One time I was back there trying to find stuff to make our fort, and I found a nest. I didn’t know these little, tiny, naked animals were rats. So I took off my tennis shoe, picked them all up, and put them in my shoe. I ran home, very proud of the fact that I had a bunch of little animals. When I showed them to my mom, she totally freaked out, took my shoe, and threw it in the garbage. Of course she was freaking out that I was handling these rats, and of course I was freaking out because she was throwing away these little, bitty pets into the garbage! She wouldn’t let me have my shoe back. [ laughs ]
My mother always kept a nice house, always kept us together. I never knew we were very poor, and I attribute that to her. I can remember times sitting in the dark, and of course, as kids, it was a game for us. We had a choice between food and utilities, and of course we picked food. When we were growing up, my dad would always add to the grocery list “lightbulbs and toilet paper.” Mom would
A couple of days later I got a phone call from the chairman, who I knew because I had been one of his direct reports. He said, “Hey, Tia, first of all, you should have told me you were pregnant. Secondly, congratulations. Third, don’t worry about your options.” He said, “HR has to write a policy now because I’m sure there will be other women who go on maternity leave.” I couldn’t believe that I was the first one. It was 1978, not 1878!
I think that if I had any regrets in my life, I regret that Daddy and I didn’t understand how hard it was going to be to raise kids and work at the same time. I really had this idea that I could do everything 100 percent—like you can be 100 percent worker, 100 percent mother, and 100 percent wife. And you can’t. It’s impossible. I traveled all the time. I worked long hours. And it was just burning me out. I didn’t know what was going on with you guys. I didn’t feel as connected as I wanted to be. So finally, when you guys were seven and five, I said, That’s it. There’s got to be a better way .
Christine Smallwood: Did you ever have moments where you felt like you regretted leaving work?
Tia: No. I never felt that way. I loved just being with you guys. I mean—this is where I’m going to start to cry—as much as I learned about politics and about work and about myself, I don’t think I learned how to be a real human being until I was with my children and suffered with them and watched what they go through. You would give anything for them. You would give up your life, your career, and your home.You unconditionally love them, and I think that is what made my life complete. So no, I never regretted it.
I just want to put on the record how absolutely delighted I am with you as a human being. I mean, you’re just a wonderful person. You’re compassionate, smart, and insightful, and you are just absolutely delightful to be around.
Christine: I always strive to be more like you—it’s true.
Tia: Keep on being who you are.
Recorded in New York, New York, on February 2, 2008.
WANDA ZOELLER, 56 talks to her partner, SUSAN HERNDON, 51 about her mother, Ethel Zoeller.
Wanda Zoeller: I was the last of six children. I was born in Clarksville, Indiana, at a very small hospital. I was actually delivered in the area where little boys are circumcised, because they didn’t have any space left in any rooms. They shoved my mom off into another room where they kept the clean laundry and circumcised little boys.
I lived a good portion of my growing up—until I was thirteen—in the projects of Louisville. Today it’s considered kind of a rough area, but when we were growing up everybody knew each other and took care of each other.
We had an area in the back of the projects where we’d take our garbage. They’d cut trees, and there’d be piles of trees back there, so some of us kids would go back there and make forts out of these tree branches and such. One time I was back there trying to find stuff to make our fort, and I found a nest. I didn’t know these little, tiny, naked animals were rats. So I took off my tennis shoe, picked them all up, and put them in my shoe. I ran home, very proud of the fact that I had a bunch of little animals. When I showed them to my mom, she totally freaked out, took my shoe, and threw it in the garbage. Of course she was freaking out that I was handling these rats, and of course I was freaking out because she was throwing away these little, bitty pets into the garbage! She wouldn’t let me have my shoe back. [ laughs ]
My mother always kept a nice house, always kept us together. I never knew we were very poor, and I attribute that to her. I can remember times sitting in the dark, and of course, as kids, it was a game for us. We had a choice between food and utilities, and of course we picked food. When we were growing up, my dad would always add to the grocery list “lightbulbs and toilet paper.” Mom would
Similar Books
