Read Online Missed Connections by Tan-ni Fan - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Tan-ni Fan
Tags: LGBTQ romance, anthology
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hand lightly.
"Hey, don't hit the driver, I'm the one keeping us alive," Rob said. "What valentines?"
"You have to have the worst memory of anybody I ever met if you don't remember those. They're so cute! Handmade hearts of construction paper and glitter and stickers, and even a bit of doily on one, and they have Rab plus Rob numeral 4 E,V,A on them in glitter glue. There's like three or four of them!"
"Doesn't ring a bell. Mom's been telling me about this guy, but I can't picture him."
"Oh, cold," Stanny said. "Better hope he feels the same way, or you're dead."
"That kind of stuff only happens in operas and telenovelas ," Maria said. "Speaking of, my mom is completely addicted to this one that is so stupid it's worth watching for its absurdity. For one thing, get this, a man and a woman meet after thirty years and they get close and it turns out he's the father of her child. Don't you think they'd have recognized each other after they did something like that?"
"Not if it was a one-night stand," Emily said. "Isn't that what happened to the people at this wedding anyway?"
"Yeah, but real life doesn't have to make sense," Maria said.
They had to wait twenty minutes for George and Sera and Letty and Jaime to show up at Casa de Fruta. Stanny said, "I don't see why we can't just go into the restaurant or something. It's boring and you won't let me go into the souvenir shop."
Emily said, "No breaking things. You could go look at the miniature train. But just look, okay?"
"You know he's going to find something to get into trouble with," Maria said as Stanny walked away. "Rob, go watch him."
Rob grimaced and followed Stanny across the substantial lawn. Sure enough, Stanny had already gotten into an altercation with a white peacock.
Rob rescued Stanny from the viciously attacking bird, saying "How did you get in trouble so fast?"
"You shouldn't molest the animals," a censorious-looking man in a flat cap said. "It's cruel."
"I was just trying to give it a piece of bread," Stanny said.
When they got back on the road after breakfast, Emily drove, and Rob got in the backseat with Stanny, who was in a bleak mood.
"Don't pout," Rob said. "You're lucky I was able to talk your dad out of making you ride with him the rest of the way. Man, you're lucky he didn't hog-tie you and throw you in the trunk."
"He wouldn't have done that," Maria said. "He would have kept him in the passenger seat so he could watch him and keep him from dismantling the windows."
"I wouldn't do that," Stanny said.
"After what you did in the restaurant, nobody would dare take bets on what you would or wouldn't do anywhere else," Emily said.
"It wasn't that bad, it just got out of control," Stanny said. "The sign says 'Home of the Cup Flipper and nobody was doing it. I thought there should be a cup flipper at the home of the cup flipper!"
Maria turned around in her seat and pointed her finger at Stanny. "One, there's no cup flipper anymore. Two, the cup flipper used to flip one cup at a time because that's what the trick is. One cup, one flip. Nobody ever tried to take a stack of cups and saucers and tried to flip them all at once. That's dumb."
"Plate spinners spin a whole stack," Stanny said.
"Plates are not cups. Anyway, please, next time you get a flashy idea, tell somebody about it before you try it, okay?"
Delays
The last leg of the trip went slowly. Maria insisted on driving because she hadn't done any mountain driving before, but because she hadn't done any mountain driving before she took every hairpin curve at a walking pace and pulled into every turnout, getting stuck while chains of hot-dogging locals zoomed past But they couldn't get the wheel away from her, so they had to endure two-and-a-half hours of past-the-tree line creeping.
"The view is great, though," Rob said.
"So optimistic," said Emily. But she couldn't deny it: the vast stretches of bare rock, twisted and scarred by millions of years of dramatic geographic action, were
"Hey, don't hit the driver, I'm the one keeping us alive," Rob said. "What valentines?"
"You have to have the worst memory of anybody I ever met if you don't remember those. They're so cute! Handmade hearts of construction paper and glitter and stickers, and even a bit of doily on one, and they have Rab plus Rob numeral 4 E,V,A on them in glitter glue. There's like three or four of them!"
"Doesn't ring a bell. Mom's been telling me about this guy, but I can't picture him."
"Oh, cold," Stanny said. "Better hope he feels the same way, or you're dead."
"That kind of stuff only happens in operas and telenovelas ," Maria said. "Speaking of, my mom is completely addicted to this one that is so stupid it's worth watching for its absurdity. For one thing, get this, a man and a woman meet after thirty years and they get close and it turns out he's the father of her child. Don't you think they'd have recognized each other after they did something like that?"
"Not if it was a one-night stand," Emily said. "Isn't that what happened to the people at this wedding anyway?"
"Yeah, but real life doesn't have to make sense," Maria said.
They had to wait twenty minutes for George and Sera and Letty and Jaime to show up at Casa de Fruta. Stanny said, "I don't see why we can't just go into the restaurant or something. It's boring and you won't let me go into the souvenir shop."
Emily said, "No breaking things. You could go look at the miniature train. But just look, okay?"
"You know he's going to find something to get into trouble with," Maria said as Stanny walked away. "Rob, go watch him."
Rob grimaced and followed Stanny across the substantial lawn. Sure enough, Stanny had already gotten into an altercation with a white peacock.
Rob rescued Stanny from the viciously attacking bird, saying "How did you get in trouble so fast?"
"You shouldn't molest the animals," a censorious-looking man in a flat cap said. "It's cruel."
"I was just trying to give it a piece of bread," Stanny said.
When they got back on the road after breakfast, Emily drove, and Rob got in the backseat with Stanny, who was in a bleak mood.
"Don't pout," Rob said. "You're lucky I was able to talk your dad out of making you ride with him the rest of the way. Man, you're lucky he didn't hog-tie you and throw you in the trunk."
"He wouldn't have done that," Maria said. "He would have kept him in the passenger seat so he could watch him and keep him from dismantling the windows."
"I wouldn't do that," Stanny said.
"After what you did in the restaurant, nobody would dare take bets on what you would or wouldn't do anywhere else," Emily said.
"It wasn't that bad, it just got out of control," Stanny said. "The sign says 'Home of the Cup Flipper and nobody was doing it. I thought there should be a cup flipper at the home of the cup flipper!"
Maria turned around in her seat and pointed her finger at Stanny. "One, there's no cup flipper anymore. Two, the cup flipper used to flip one cup at a time because that's what the trick is. One cup, one flip. Nobody ever tried to take a stack of cups and saucers and tried to flip them all at once. That's dumb."
"Plate spinners spin a whole stack," Stanny said.
"Plates are not cups. Anyway, please, next time you get a flashy idea, tell somebody about it before you try it, okay?"
Delays
The last leg of the trip went slowly. Maria insisted on driving because she hadn't done any mountain driving before, but because she hadn't done any mountain driving before she took every hairpin curve at a walking pace and pulled into every turnout, getting stuck while chains of hot-dogging locals zoomed past But they couldn't get the wheel away from her, so they had to endure two-and-a-half hours of past-the-tree line creeping.
"The view is great, though," Rob said.
"So optimistic," said Emily. But she couldn't deny it: the vast stretches of bare rock, twisted and scarred by millions of years of dramatic geographic action, were
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