whispered, âso he went home for the rest of the day. Spread the word.â Neil turned around and whispered to Emily. âMr. Granite is old, so he went home for the rest of the day.â Emily opened her eyes really wide. Then she turned around and whispered to Ryan. âMr. Granite is old, so he went to a rest home,â she said.
Ryan leaned over to whisper to Michael. âOld Mr. Granite was put in a home for the rest of his life.â Michael turned around and whispered to Andrea. âMr. Granite was put in an old-age home to rest until heâs dead!â âMR. GRANITE IS DYING?!â shouted Andrea. Suddenly, everyone started yelling, screaming, crying, and freaking out. âBut Mr. Granite is so young !â wailed Michael. âHe was such a good man!â groaned Neil the nude kid. âI need to speak with a grief counselor!â screamed Emily. âWhy? Why? Why?â everybody was moaning. Kids were weeping, holding their heads, and wiping their eyes. The girls were talking about what they were going to wear to Mr. Graniteâs funeral. Thatâs when Mr. Klutz came running into the classroom like his hair was on fire. * âWhatâs the matter?â he shouted. âIs someone hurt?â âMr. Granite is dying!â yelled Andrea. âNo heâs not,â said Mr. Klutz. âHe has a cold, so he went home for the rest of the day. Who told you that heâs dying?â
Ryan looked at me. Alexia looked at me. Michael looked at me. Emily looked at me. Everybody was looking at me. âA.J. told us that Mr. Granite is dying!â Andrea said, pointing at me. âI did not!â âYou did too!â âDid not!â âDid too!â We went on like that for a while until Mr. Klutz clapped his hands together: CLAP CLAP, CLAPCLAPCLAP. Five claps means âshut up.â Nobody knows why. âRemember what I said about your behavior,â said Mr. Klutz as he left the room. âIf you kids canât behave, some of you are going to be suspended. Iâm not fooling around!â
4 It Takes Brains to Be a Sub You know what it means when your teacher gets sick? It means you get a substitute teacher! Yay! Having a sub is cool because you donât have to do work or learn anything. You can do whatever you want. Itâs too bad teachers canât be sick all the time. Then school would be fun. I pulled out a comic book and put my feet up on my desk. This was going to be the greatest day of my life. But youâll never believe who ran into the door at that moment. It was a lady dressed up like a clown and riding a unicycle! She ran right into the door! âOuch!â said the clown lady as she got up off the floor. âThat hurt!â Everybody laughed, because itâs always hilarious when people crash into things and fall down. Nobody knows why. If you ask me, there should be a TV station that shows nothing but people crashing into things and falling down all day long. That would be cool.
âHi boys and girls!â the clown lady said. âMy name is Miss Kraft.â âAre you a clown or a teacher?â asked Andrea. âBoth!â said Miss Kraft. âIâm a clown and a teacher. Weâre going to have fun and learn at the same time!â âThatâs impossible,â I said. âDonât be a Grumpy Gus!â said Miss Kraft. âWatch this ! Whatâs two times one?â âTwo!â we all shouted. Miss Kraft put her hand up to her face. Then she pulled a red handkerchief and a blue handkerchief out of her nose. âAnd whatâs two times two?â she asked. âFour!â we all shouted. Miss Kraft pulled four colorful handkerchiefs out of her nose. âAnd whatâs two times three?â she asked. âSix!â we all shouted. Miss Kraft pulled six colorful handkerchiefs out of her nose. It was