mean faces.
âWhatâs up with them ?â I whispered as we sat down.
âIt looks like they got up on the wrong side of the bed,â whispered Andrea.
âWhat difference does it make which side of the bed you get up on?â I asked.
âItâs just an expression, Arlo,â said Andrea, rolling her eyes. She calls me by my real name because she knows I donât like it.
âMaybe somebody died,â whispered Ryan.
Mr. Klutz, Mrs. Jafee, and Dr. Brad were all wearing T-shirts that said BOGS on them.
âWhat do you think BOGS stands for?â whispered Neil the nude kid.
âBig Ostriches Go Slow,â guessed Ryan.
âBoring Old Geezer Society,â guessed Michael.
âBody Odor Gets Stinky,â guessed Alexia.
âBe on Guardââ
I didnât get the chance to finish my sentence because Mr. Klutz held up his hand and made the shut-up peace sign. Mrs. Jafee tapped on the microphone. Everybody stopped talking. It was so quiet in the all-purpose room, you could hear a pin drop.
That is, if anybody brought pins to school and started dropping them. But why would anybody do a dumb thing like that?
âWe are disappointed in you children,â said Mrs. Jafee. âOnce again, Dirk School got the award for having the best behavior of the month.â
Dirk School is on the other side of town. Thatâs where all the genius kids go. We call it âDork School.â
Mrs. Jafee sat down, and Dr. Brad stepped up to the microphone.
âWe have been having a lot of behavior problems lately,â he said. âStudents have been yelling and running through the hallways. Kids are talking back to their teachers. There have been food fights and riots. This is not the way children are supposed to behave in school. So weâre starting a program to improve behavior and teach respect here at Ella Mentry School.â
Dr. Brad sat down, and Mr. Klutz stepped up to the microphone. He has no hair at all. I mean none . Mr. Klutzâs head is really shiny. They could use it to signal ships that are lost at sea.
âBOGS stands for Behave or Get Suspended,â said Mr. Klutz. âIâve tried to be kind to you children, but it didnât work. So from now on, itâs no more Mr. Nice Guy. Students who misbehave will be suspended.â
Wow! I remember when Mr. Klutz was a good guy. One time I got sent to his office for bad behavior, and he gave me a candy bar. That was cool. Now heâs all mean.
âI expect exemplary behavior at Ella Mentry School,â he continued, âand that is all I have to say. I will be checking in on your classrooms regularly to see how youâre making out.â
âEwwwwwww, disgusting!â I shouted. âMr. Klutz said âmaking outâ!â
âQUIET!â roared Mr. Klutz. âEnough of that foolishness!â
3
Mr. Granite Is Dying!
We had to walk a million hundred miles back to class in single file. Everybody was being really quiet. Nobody wanted to get in trouble with Mr. Klutz. I looked around for Mr. Granite, but I couldnât find him.
When we passed the front office, our school nurse, Mrs. Cooney, pulled me out of the line. She is beautiful and has eyes that look like cotton candy. One time she wanted me to marry her, but I couldnât because she was already married to some guy named Mr. Cooney.
âA.J.,â she whispered, âplease tell your class that Mr. Granite went home for the rest of the day.â
âIs he going to be okay?â I asked.
âOh yes,â said Mrs. Cooney. âHe only has a cold.â
I ran to catch up with the rest of the class. They were just going into our room, and everybody was still on their best behavior. Even the guys folded their hands on their desks and kept their feet on the floor. It was weird.
âWhereâs Mr. Granite?â Neil the nude kid whispered to me.
âMr. Granite has a cold,â I
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