Read Online Mismatched by Elle Casey, Amanda McKeon - Free Book Online

we’ll end up at her house.”
    “House?”
    “Yeah. B&B. That’s a house. I’m not exactly sure she’s an official B&B. It might just be a friend of a friend of the family.” Her cheesy grin does not ease the delivery of this news at all.
    “Oh, goody.” So much for power-showers and a good night’s sleep. One thing I’ve learned about Ireland so far is that bedtimes are much later and much louder. I think it’s the whiskey. If this person’s family is anything like Erin’s, I’d better just plan on sleeping on the plane ride back.
    Minutes later, we’re pulling up to a house painted robin’s egg blue. The roof is tile, the garden is filled with ceramic gnomes, and a woman with a yellow-flowered housecoat is standing out in the middle of it all, talking to herself.
    “Hey ho!” Erin says, sliding up to the curb next to the garden. “Mrs. O’Grady, I presume?”
    The little old lady smiles kind of absently. “Oh, hello dear. Do I know ye?”
    “Not yet!” Erin shuts off the car and gets out. “We’re Erin and Ridlee. Here to stay a few nights. My Uncle Miley set it up for us.”
    “Oh, well … the niece of Miley O’Neill is always welcome. But I’m not sure that I have any rooms, dear.” The woman goes from joyful to worried. Then she starts talking to herself again, and I can’t understand a word of it.
    “Is that singing or talking?” I whisper loudly, getting out of the car. Mrs. O’Grady is walking into her house. I’m pretty sure she’s forgotten we’re out here already.
    “She’s doing a little of both. In Irish. Let me go see what’s happening.” Erin opens the small picket-fence gate and follows the woman inside.
    I’m not sure what to do with myself, so I just stand out on the sidewalk, admiring the view. All the houses are lined up in neat little rows. Everyone has a small garden in front, although none as interesting as the one I’m standing in front of. Some of them are tangled messes of weeds, some have pretty flowers, but none have the gnomes that I can see. The mist gives the place a dreary feel to it, but rather than making it seem off-putting, it makes it more mysterious. I feel like this place has secrets, things to be discovered. Or maybe I should just leave those secrets alone. I’ve read some stories about Irish folklore; there are some seriously spooky goblins and shit here that don’t seem like anything I’d want to meet on a dark road in the middle of nowhere.
    “Baaaeeerrrggghhhh!”
    Screaming, I nearly jump out of my skin trying to get away from the demon goblin behind the fence in Mrs. O’Grady’s garden.
    Pounding footsteps come from inside the house and then the front door flies open. “What?!” Erin yells at me. “What’s wrong?!”
    I’m on the other side of the Bambino, pointing at the garden. “Gnome! Demon gnome! Lock the door!”
    “What?” She’s frowning and half-smiling at the same time. Instead of being terrified like she should be, she’s amused.
    “Get in the house and lock the door!” I yell. “I’m not kidding!”
    “What’s that dear?” Mrs. O’Grady comes out of the house and down the stairs.
    “Baaaeeerrrggghhhh! Baaaeeerrrggghhhhpp! Braaaabbpptt!”
    Erin’s eyes get as big as saucers but she doesn’t move her feet.
    “Told you!” I yell, waving for her to get back.
    “Oh, da pussy, pussy, pussy…” Mrs. O’Grady is bending over, shuffling through her garden with her hand held out.
    “Oh my fucking god, she’s going to get eaten,” I say in a half-whisper.
    Erin’s hand goes to her mouth and then she starts laughing.
    She’s laughing?
    “What?” I stand up straighter, trying to see over the top of the car. It’s not difficult, being that it’s only about four feet off the ground.
    Mrs. O’Grady disappears from view for a couple seconds and then she stands. In her arms is something big and hairy and black.
    “Oh, da pussy, pussy, pussy. Is the pussy hungry?”
    “What the hell is that