she stroked my hair. âWell, sometimes it is . . . I know itâs been tough for you. God, what a crap first day of school! Anyway, you donât have to do your homework today. Mrs. Treemâs orders.â
âAwesome.â I rolled my eyes, as though that was any sort of consolation prize for watching a dog die in your arms.
âLook at this,â she said, turning her attention back to the TV. âPeople are really responding to this stuff.â
She pointed to the footage of masses of people gathering in the woods, in the mountains and deserts, performing odd rituals at sunset and sunrise, chanting melodic chants, standing in the streets, holding signs that said: WE ARE NOT ALONE ,and THEY AR E WATCHING US , and WHAT D O THEY KNOW ? The ambiguity of this last question seemed intentional. What did it matter what they knew when we barely knew or understood anything ourselves?
âThere are all these . . . groups forming. All over the world, like newfound religions. They think this new planet is our âcelestial twin.ââ
âItâs kind of premature for that, isnât it?â The formation of something, anything new that allowed one to look outward, upward, and still beyond had always been a refuge for the lost. I always wondered about people who voluntarily joined groups with some sort of enthusiasm or willingness. Donât get me wrongâI was on yearbook and swim team and Amnesty International, but only so Iâd have those things on my transcript. I didnât actually feel like I was part of anything. No matter what, I felt separate from everything at school, like I was there to observe people rather than to actually interact with them.
But my mother felt differently. âIt
is
comforting, the idea that weâre not alone,â she mused. âI guess I just find it all meaningful. Your dad thinks itâs a big joke or something.â
I looked at my mother. She was eating a granola bar. The discarded wrappers of her granola-bar meal plan littered the coffee table.
âMom, I think youâre getting kind of obsessed,â I said to her.
âItâs just so . . . mesmerizing!â she exclaimed. âI know, I know. I promise Iâll go back to work, but I just needed this. It feels like an infusion of vitamins or something.â
âWhat does that mean?â I asked.
But she didnât answer, and I could tell she wasnât listening to me anymore. Her eyes returned to the screen, and her hand reached for the remote to switch to another news network.
I got up. âI think Iâm going to go visit Dad,â I told her. She didnât protest, so I took my bike out from the garage, and by seven thirty I was crossing the threshold of my fatherâs restaurant, the clang of bells overhead, a vertical thread of seven chilis and a lime hanging in the doorway to ward off the evil eye. A small waitstaff tended to a bustling dining room, steel plates of puri and naan and chana masala and chicken tikka floating by in deft hands.
I was greeted by the smoky smell of the incense by the door, which always made me sneeze. This functioned as a greeting, and Amit, the head server, gave me a nod.
âIs my dad in the kitchen?â I asked him.
âHeâs in the pantry, taking inventory.â
â
Now?
During the evening rush?â
Amit shrugged. âMaybe he thinks we have it all handled.â
This was the longest conversation I had ever had with Amit. He was a sophomore at Trinity College, working a few nights a week at the restaurant for the extra money. Our interactions were minimal, mostly just âhiâ and âbyeâ and âDo you need any help?â
The one time I saw him outside of work, coming out of a bar on Greenwich Avenue with a group of friends, it shocked me that he had a life outside the restaurant. He was dressed in torn jeans and a T-shirt instead of his uniform
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