Read Online Minister Without Portfolio by Michael Winter - Free Book Online
Authors: Michael Winter
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ways that nominal virtue allowed, and he felt guilty about it. He did not know if he could ever get along with a woman, to be honest.
20
The trees were covered in glitter ice and orange taxis slid around on baloney tires. A school bus full of kids braked on Kennaâs Hill and slipped sideways through the intersection using all three lanes of road. The driver looked very calm about it. Henry walked a mile in cold weather to the YMCA and worked on the conditioning weights. Sometimes he did that, walk instead of taking the car. He looked at the car and remembered the jeep and could not bring himself to open the door. That was how Tender Morris ended his life and the idea of voluntarily harnessing himself into that position repulsed him. Heâd seen a counsellor on his return and did not tell him about this aversion. The army physiotherapist had given Henry a routine to eventually loosen out the kinks from the impact he received from the exploding jeep. Martha had looked over the routineâit was printed on a two-sided laminated sheet that reminded him of scuba diving positions and eastern yoga. She said do this one and this one and not to do the exercises on the other side of the sheet. Theyâve all been overturned.
He watched the news on a flat TV bolted above the running track. The news had no sound, just the anchor interviewing the minister of defence in high definition, their conversation in closed captions. You could understand in ten seconds the power and the status quo of the media and government by studying the national news with the sound off. He thought about Tender Morris and John Hynes. They had all met this minister of defence at the base in Kabul. Tender Morris was in extremely good physical shape at that dinner and then, within three months, they were attending Tender Morrisâs funeral.
He did thirty minutes on the rowing machine and then the exercises Martha recommended. He thought about what she had told him about Tender Morrisâs house. A house like that and he could row every day. Martha wasnât drinking. They were all drunk but she wasnât. Her righteous life. It was a bit of a drag this no drinking. Could he live with that. There is no telling if it is a truth or a fleeting truth but Henry saw that pervading inertia can take hold. Passive people think the world doesnât change, but it does and there are forces out there rolling stones and rubbing off moss. Inertia, if you recall, applies to acceleration and deceleration, not to change. Perhaps it was that impulse in him that first started to turn Nora away. Yes, he can see it now. She had loved how different from her he was. He was physical in the world, active, building things, and he used his shoulders and legs. She read books and sat at tables talking with colleagues. She attended meetings. And she realized that, along with the animal pulse in him, he possessed an independent drive to go public with his devotion. A willingness to be slayed, which is what war is. The biggest meeting of all.
He exercised until the taekwondo class ended then he boosted himself off the equipment and took a shower and dressed and reminded himself of the perversion of his thoughts: try and steer a safe course.
He walked home in a rifling wind and, instead of heading into Silviaâs house, he shovelled out the car and jumped in and warmed up the engine and drove past Marthaâs place. Her car was gone. He knew where the key was. He could let himself in and put the lights on so sheâd know someone was there. He could read one of Tenderâs books and get educated. Well, his car would be a clue right there. There is no need to frighten her.
He drove back through town past the new wings of development on the old cityâsubdivisions he had helped build with John and Tender back in their twenties. As he slowed he saw Silvia sitting in her car in the driveway. She looked like she was crying. Or at least, she had her hands on the
20
The trees were covered in glitter ice and orange taxis slid around on baloney tires. A school bus full of kids braked on Kennaâs Hill and slipped sideways through the intersection using all three lanes of road. The driver looked very calm about it. Henry walked a mile in cold weather to the YMCA and worked on the conditioning weights. Sometimes he did that, walk instead of taking the car. He looked at the car and remembered the jeep and could not bring himself to open the door. That was how Tender Morris ended his life and the idea of voluntarily harnessing himself into that position repulsed him. Heâd seen a counsellor on his return and did not tell him about this aversion. The army physiotherapist had given Henry a routine to eventually loosen out the kinks from the impact he received from the exploding jeep. Martha had looked over the routineâit was printed on a two-sided laminated sheet that reminded him of scuba diving positions and eastern yoga. She said do this one and this one and not to do the exercises on the other side of the sheet. Theyâve all been overturned.
He watched the news on a flat TV bolted above the running track. The news had no sound, just the anchor interviewing the minister of defence in high definition, their conversation in closed captions. You could understand in ten seconds the power and the status quo of the media and government by studying the national news with the sound off. He thought about Tender Morris and John Hynes. They had all met this minister of defence at the base in Kabul. Tender Morris was in extremely good physical shape at that dinner and then, within three months, they were attending Tender Morrisâs funeral.
He did thirty minutes on the rowing machine and then the exercises Martha recommended. He thought about what she had told him about Tender Morrisâs house. A house like that and he could row every day. Martha wasnât drinking. They were all drunk but she wasnât. Her righteous life. It was a bit of a drag this no drinking. Could he live with that. There is no telling if it is a truth or a fleeting truth but Henry saw that pervading inertia can take hold. Passive people think the world doesnât change, but it does and there are forces out there rolling stones and rubbing off moss. Inertia, if you recall, applies to acceleration and deceleration, not to change. Perhaps it was that impulse in him that first started to turn Nora away. Yes, he can see it now. She had loved how different from her he was. He was physical in the world, active, building things, and he used his shoulders and legs. She read books and sat at tables talking with colleagues. She attended meetings. And she realized that, along with the animal pulse in him, he possessed an independent drive to go public with his devotion. A willingness to be slayed, which is what war is. The biggest meeting of all.
He exercised until the taekwondo class ended then he boosted himself off the equipment and took a shower and dressed and reminded himself of the perversion of his thoughts: try and steer a safe course.
He walked home in a rifling wind and, instead of heading into Silviaâs house, he shovelled out the car and jumped in and warmed up the engine and drove past Marthaâs place. Her car was gone. He knew where the key was. He could let himself in and put the lights on so sheâd know someone was there. He could read one of Tenderâs books and get educated. Well, his car would be a clue right there. There is no need to frighten her.
He drove back through town past the new wings of development on the old cityâsubdivisions he had helped build with John and Tender back in their twenties. As he slowed he saw Silvia sitting in her car in the driveway. She looked like she was crying. Or at least, she had her hands on the
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