slapped across the face.
‘A besotted… bulldog? Is that what you’re saying I look like?’
She sounded so hurt. Guiltily Millie shook her head.
‘Of course not. I just couldn’t think of anything else that drooled.’
‘Labradors drool,’ Hester announced stiffly. ‘My auntie'sLabrador drools all the time. And St. Bernards drool. You really didn’t have to say bulldog.’
‘Sorry.’
‘Anyway, I wouldn’t throw myself at Lucas! I have no intention of letting him think I’m a pushover.’
‘Of course you wouldn’t. Sorry,’ Millie repeated, her tone humble. Even though she knew, just knew without a doubt, that Hester had already learned the phone number on the card by heart.
Mollified, Hester said, ‘Why did Orla Hart give you Lucas's business card anyway?’
‘He's looking for people to do the kissograms. Orla thought I might be interested. She was just trying to help because she feels so responsible for—’
‘Ohmigod!’ In an instant Hester forgot all about being stroppy. She clapped her hands like an excited child. ‘This is brilliant .’
‘But I told her it wasn’t my kind of thing.’
‘You could do it!’
‘I’m a travel agent,’ Millie protested.
Well, kind of.
‘An unemployed travel agent,’ Hester pointed out.
‘Yes, but singing telegrams! They’re so… so…’ Millie floundered; they were definitely so something, she just couldn’t explain what.
‘Would you have to take all your clothes off?’
‘No!’
‘Do it then,’ Hester ordered.
‘I don’t know if I want to.’
‘Excuse me, but is your name Victoria Beckham?’ Hester rolled her eyes. ‘No it isn’t, so you can’t exactly afford to be fussy, can you?’
‘I was thinking more of a bar job,’ said Millie.
‘Oh don’t be so mean,’ Hester pleaded. ‘At least ring him and fix up an interview.’
Millie feigned puzzlement.
‘Why?’
‘Because then you can meet up with him and have a lovely chat about the good old days, and that’ll give him the chance to ask you all about me and you’ll be able to tell him how gorgeous and popular I am, and before you know it he’ll be desperate to see me again and that's when you’ll say, “Hey, why don’t the three of us meet up for a drink tonight?” and he’ll say, “Millie, that's a fantastic idea,” and it’ll all happen in a really easy, natural way. Bingo. Not a besotted bulldog, not a ribbon of drool in sight!’
‘And no sex either,’ Millie reminded her.
Hester looked shocked.
‘Absolutely not.’
‘Good. Okay.’
This is what Orla means about me being nice, Millie realized. I hid the card from Hester for her own good, and she's managed to make me feel so guilty I’ve ended up agreeing to do the one thing I really didn’t want to do.
Well now I’m going to be mean and it jolly well serves her right.
Smiling like a dutiful wife, she stood at the front door and waved a deliriously happy Hester off to work. Still minus any tights and with the long-forgotten strips of loo roll like tiny red and white banners flip-flapping around her legs.
Nobody picked up the phone when Millie rang the number on Lucas Kemp's business card. Her conscience clear once more—ah well, at least she’d tried—she decided to make the most of her unexpected freedom and pay a visit to her father instead.
When Millie's parents had split up five years earlier, it had been at the instigation of her mother. Adele Brady had yearned for more; she had her heart set on a glittering metropolitan lifestyle.
And in due course, a refined metropolitan husband to match.
‘Cornwall just isn’t me ,’ Adele had told Millie at the time. ‘It's sooo parochial. I need glamour, I need opera, I need… oh God… Harvey Nichols!’
‘See? She's got her eye on some other fellow already.’ Millie's father, Lloyd, had winked at Millie. ‘Mind you, I wouldn’t have thought he’d be her type… an overweight ex-showjumper famous for his two-fingered
‘A besotted… bulldog? Is that what you’re saying I look like?’
She sounded so hurt. Guiltily Millie shook her head.
‘Of course not. I just couldn’t think of anything else that drooled.’
‘Labradors drool,’ Hester announced stiffly. ‘My auntie'sLabrador drools all the time. And St. Bernards drool. You really didn’t have to say bulldog.’
‘Sorry.’
‘Anyway, I wouldn’t throw myself at Lucas! I have no intention of letting him think I’m a pushover.’
‘Of course you wouldn’t. Sorry,’ Millie repeated, her tone humble. Even though she knew, just knew without a doubt, that Hester had already learned the phone number on the card by heart.
Mollified, Hester said, ‘Why did Orla Hart give you Lucas's business card anyway?’
‘He's looking for people to do the kissograms. Orla thought I might be interested. She was just trying to help because she feels so responsible for—’
‘Ohmigod!’ In an instant Hester forgot all about being stroppy. She clapped her hands like an excited child. ‘This is brilliant .’
‘But I told her it wasn’t my kind of thing.’
‘You could do it!’
‘I’m a travel agent,’ Millie protested.
Well, kind of.
‘An unemployed travel agent,’ Hester pointed out.
‘Yes, but singing telegrams! They’re so… so…’ Millie floundered; they were definitely so something, she just couldn’t explain what.
‘Would you have to take all your clothes off?’
‘No!’
‘Do it then,’ Hester ordered.
‘I don’t know if I want to.’
‘Excuse me, but is your name Victoria Beckham?’ Hester rolled her eyes. ‘No it isn’t, so you can’t exactly afford to be fussy, can you?’
‘I was thinking more of a bar job,’ said Millie.
‘Oh don’t be so mean,’ Hester pleaded. ‘At least ring him and fix up an interview.’
Millie feigned puzzlement.
‘Why?’
‘Because then you can meet up with him and have a lovely chat about the good old days, and that’ll give him the chance to ask you all about me and you’ll be able to tell him how gorgeous and popular I am, and before you know it he’ll be desperate to see me again and that's when you’ll say, “Hey, why don’t the three of us meet up for a drink tonight?” and he’ll say, “Millie, that's a fantastic idea,” and it’ll all happen in a really easy, natural way. Bingo. Not a besotted bulldog, not a ribbon of drool in sight!’
‘And no sex either,’ Millie reminded her.
Hester looked shocked.
‘Absolutely not.’
‘Good. Okay.’
This is what Orla means about me being nice, Millie realized. I hid the card from Hester for her own good, and she's managed to make me feel so guilty I’ve ended up agreeing to do the one thing I really didn’t want to do.
Well now I’m going to be mean and it jolly well serves her right.
Smiling like a dutiful wife, she stood at the front door and waved a deliriously happy Hester off to work. Still minus any tights and with the long-forgotten strips of loo roll like tiny red and white banners flip-flapping around her legs.
Nobody picked up the phone when Millie rang the number on Lucas Kemp's business card. Her conscience clear once more—ah well, at least she’d tried—she decided to make the most of her unexpected freedom and pay a visit to her father instead.
When Millie's parents had split up five years earlier, it had been at the instigation of her mother. Adele Brady had yearned for more; she had her heart set on a glittering metropolitan lifestyle.
And in due course, a refined metropolitan husband to match.
‘Cornwall just isn’t me ,’ Adele had told Millie at the time. ‘It's sooo parochial. I need glamour, I need opera, I need… oh God… Harvey Nichols!’
‘See? She's got her eye on some other fellow already.’ Millie's father, Lloyd, had winked at Millie. ‘Mind you, I wouldn’t have thought he’d be her type… an overweight ex-showjumper famous for his two-fingered
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