or he dries the dishes while Tess bends his ear.” Erin lowered her eyes and stirred her coffee. “A few times we’ve sat on the porch and talked. But we are definitely not dating.”
“Semantics, girl. Who do you think you’re fooling? You know you like him. Why don’t you admit it?”
“Of course, I like him. My stomach plunges to the floor every time I get within ten feet of him.”
“So? When does the real dating begin? Or is he just eye candy for you?”
Erin laughed and tossed a rumpled up napkin at her friend. “We have an unspoken agreement. He doesn’t ask me for a date and I don’t interfere with him getting home-cooked meals on a regular basis.”
Carol tilted her head to the side and studied Erin. “And you haven’t claimed this wonderful man as your own because? Let me guess. You’re still in your no-man-in-my-life-ever-again phase. And let’s not forget he’s a cop, too.” Carol’s expression darkened. “I can’t believe you’re so stubborn you’re blowing a potentially perfect relationship over his job. I don’t get it.”
“It isn’t his job…not completely.”
“Wait. Before you say another word about him being a cop, answer one question. What do you think of him as a man?”
“He’s the nicest guy I’ve ever met. There’s a quiet strength and dependability about him.” Erin, lost in thought, stared into space. “He’s so good with Jack. He’s wrapped Tess around his little finger. She thinks the man can do no wrong.”
“Have you had a chance to talk with him about his religious beliefs?”
“No. But I know he’s a Christian. He’s passed all of Tess’s tests and has graduated to saying grace at the table now whenever he’s over.”
“He’s a Christian. He’s good with both Jack and Tess. He’s a nice guy. I get that. But you haven’t answered my question. What do you think of the man?” Carol stopped looking at the pictures in the cookbook and stared intently at her friend.
Erin met her gaze. “I’ve never been so drawn to a man before in my life.” Her voice trembled. “If I let my guard down…”
Carol waited for her to continue.
“I could fall in love with a man like this,” Erin whispered. “The forever-kind-of-love where there are no shields and I open my heart. The thought scares me to death.”
Carol squeezed her hand. “Honey, why are you tormenting yourself like this?”
“Because I don’t want to follow in my mother’s footsteps.”
“You’re nothing like your mother.”
“I know. And I’m determined to keep it that way. I remember my parents’ arguments. Smashed dishes. Thrown glasses.” Erin absently rubbed her wrist, remembering other casualties of those past disputes.
“Your mother was a mean drunk. Why do you think I hated coming over to your house?”
“My mother was a lonely woman who hated being marriedto a cop in a generation when divorce was a dirty word and people lived out their lives in misery. Dad never seemed to be around when she needed him. Every school recital, holiday, most dinners, my mother was alone. Even when he was home, he wasn’t. He’d bury himself in the study and work.”
“Erin, your mother was an active alcoholic who abused her husband, her child and herself. You can’t blame your dad’s job for that or your dad.”
“Can’t I?” Erin knew her voice revealed her pain, but she couldn’t help it.
Carol’s eyes misted. “Honey, you’re carrying around a whole lot of anger and bitterness. It’s time to give that burden to the Lord. He’ll help you if you let Him. You need to learn to forgive.”
Erin sighed. “Easier said than done…this forgiveness thing is the toughest part for me.”
“I know,” Carol said. “But God wants us to forgive. He asks us to love one another and leave the judging part to Him.” She patted Erin’s hand. “Trust me. My own experience has taught me you’ll feel a thousand percent better when you let all that ugly, burdensome stuff
“Semantics, girl. Who do you think you’re fooling? You know you like him. Why don’t you admit it?”
“Of course, I like him. My stomach plunges to the floor every time I get within ten feet of him.”
“So? When does the real dating begin? Or is he just eye candy for you?”
Erin laughed and tossed a rumpled up napkin at her friend. “We have an unspoken agreement. He doesn’t ask me for a date and I don’t interfere with him getting home-cooked meals on a regular basis.”
Carol tilted her head to the side and studied Erin. “And you haven’t claimed this wonderful man as your own because? Let me guess. You’re still in your no-man-in-my-life-ever-again phase. And let’s not forget he’s a cop, too.” Carol’s expression darkened. “I can’t believe you’re so stubborn you’re blowing a potentially perfect relationship over his job. I don’t get it.”
“It isn’t his job…not completely.”
“Wait. Before you say another word about him being a cop, answer one question. What do you think of him as a man?”
“He’s the nicest guy I’ve ever met. There’s a quiet strength and dependability about him.” Erin, lost in thought, stared into space. “He’s so good with Jack. He’s wrapped Tess around his little finger. She thinks the man can do no wrong.”
“Have you had a chance to talk with him about his religious beliefs?”
“No. But I know he’s a Christian. He’s passed all of Tess’s tests and has graduated to saying grace at the table now whenever he’s over.”
“He’s a Christian. He’s good with both Jack and Tess. He’s a nice guy. I get that. But you haven’t answered my question. What do you think of the man?” Carol stopped looking at the pictures in the cookbook and stared intently at her friend.
Erin met her gaze. “I’ve never been so drawn to a man before in my life.” Her voice trembled. “If I let my guard down…”
Carol waited for her to continue.
“I could fall in love with a man like this,” Erin whispered. “The forever-kind-of-love where there are no shields and I open my heart. The thought scares me to death.”
Carol squeezed her hand. “Honey, why are you tormenting yourself like this?”
“Because I don’t want to follow in my mother’s footsteps.”
“You’re nothing like your mother.”
“I know. And I’m determined to keep it that way. I remember my parents’ arguments. Smashed dishes. Thrown glasses.” Erin absently rubbed her wrist, remembering other casualties of those past disputes.
“Your mother was a mean drunk. Why do you think I hated coming over to your house?”
“My mother was a lonely woman who hated being marriedto a cop in a generation when divorce was a dirty word and people lived out their lives in misery. Dad never seemed to be around when she needed him. Every school recital, holiday, most dinners, my mother was alone. Even when he was home, he wasn’t. He’d bury himself in the study and work.”
“Erin, your mother was an active alcoholic who abused her husband, her child and herself. You can’t blame your dad’s job for that or your dad.”
“Can’t I?” Erin knew her voice revealed her pain, but she couldn’t help it.
Carol’s eyes misted. “Honey, you’re carrying around a whole lot of anger and bitterness. It’s time to give that burden to the Lord. He’ll help you if you let Him. You need to learn to forgive.”
Erin sighed. “Easier said than done…this forgiveness thing is the toughest part for me.”
“I know,” Carol said. “But God wants us to forgive. He asks us to love one another and leave the judging part to Him.” She patted Erin’s hand. “Trust me. My own experience has taught me you’ll feel a thousand percent better when you let all that ugly, burdensome stuff
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