Me, Inc.

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Authors: Mr. Gene Simmons
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not counting the albums and the T-shirts and the concert tours.
    By some marketing estimates, the faces are the four most recognized faces on earth. I touched on this earlier—that our faces are registered trademarks. Let me prove it to you: Sweden is a monarchy. Do you know what the king and queen of Sweden look like? If you’re not from Sweden, and especially if you’re from America, there’s a good chance you do not. If you are from there, of course, you know your own monarchs. But, whether or not you are from Sweden, I would wager that you’ve seen the KISS imagery. Even if you’ve never heard a song—even if we’re just “that one band,” you’ve seen that face somewhere before. This is what creating an icon means—a cultural icon defies the boundaries of state, nation, and language, class, taste, and tradition. If it’s iconic, it is inescapable. We have made our face paint, our personas, inescapable.
    My qualifications to be in KISS? None. I had no guidelines and no reference points. I had to invent myself, out of thin air. I played in a few high school bands doing cover songs. But before KISS, I had zero experience playing in a rock band that wears makeup. “How to Become a Rock Star” and “How to Build an Iconic image” are not taught in any school. And while I have written a few hundred songs, both for KISS and for other recording artists, I can’t read or write musical notation. I can play guitar and bass and a bit of keyboards and drums, but as I said earlier, I never took lessons. My schooling in music theory? None. I am self-taught on every instrument I play, and I play completely by ear. I just do it.
    KISS released their first album in 1974—long before cell phones, computers, MTV, Twitter, and Facebook—and rocketed to the top of the music industry. Within a year and a half of our formation, we were headlining Anaheim Stadium in California.
    I have produced records for a number of other rock bands and artists. My résumé and experience as a producer before I decided to become one? None.
    I launched my own record company, Simmons Records, originally partnered with RCA/BMG, later with Sanctuary Music, and most recently with Universal Canada. My experience in starting and running a record company? None.
    I was Liza Minnelli’s manager, to start, and I went on to manage other artists.
    My experience and qualification to be a manager: None.
    I have acted in motion pictures and on TV. In movies, I’ve had costarring and character roles in Runaway with Tom Selleck, Wanted Dead or Alive with Rutger Hauer, Red Surf with George Clooney, Never Too Young to Die , The New Guy , Mike Judge’s Extract alongside Jason Bateman, Mila Kunis, Kristen Wiig, and Ben Affleck, and I recently finished appearing with Al Pacino in Imagined .
    I have acted on numerous TV shows, including NBC’s Third Watch and Miami Vice , and ABC’s Ugly Betty .
    My dramatic background before taking my first film role? None.
    I coproduced the New Line film Detroit Rock City with Barry Levine, and created the cartoon show My Dad the Rock Star for Nickelodeon and Mr. Romance for Oxygen. Through the Gene Simmons Company, I’ve coproduced the TV shows Gene Simmons Family Jewels , which lasted for eight seasons and 167 episodes on A&E, and Gene Simmons Rock School , which ran for two seasons on VH1. Both shows were seen around the world.
    My background in producing and creating TV shows and motion pictures before I decided to do it? None.
    I was a cofounding partner in Cool Springs Life. It’s a life equity strategy entity that loans high-net-worth individuals as much as $300 million at flat LIBOR plus a small bank fee. (LIBOR, or London Interbank Offered Rate, is the reduced interest rate that banks use when moving large chunks of money between themselves.) My partners in Cool Springs Life were Sam Watson, Rich Abramson, Simon Baitler, Bill

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