Read Online Maybe This Time by Joan Kilby - Free Book Online Page B

last, gently.
    “I will cry over her for the rest of my days.” The words tore out of her. “It doesn’t mean I can’t love another child and have joy in my life.” Her throat closed and she had to take a breath, clearing away the huge ache in her chest. Of course she was still emotional about Holly. Who wouldn’t be? A mother didn’t forget, ever, losing a child. But that didn’t mean there was something wrong with her, as he seemed to think.
    “I don’t want to have these conversations anymore,” she continued, her voice stronger. “I’m happy for the first time in eighteen months. I get that you don’t want to be part of this. That’s fine, believe me. More than fine.”
    “What does your family think?”
    “Alana’s thrilled for me.”
    “Really?”
    “With a few reservations,” Emma admitted. “But you know how cautious she is. She doesn’t like any sort of risk.”
    “Alana, cautious? I think you’re mixing her up with yourself. You don’t do anything without having all your ducks lined up and ironclad safeguards that nothing will go wrong or fail. Why else do you think I’m worried about your mental and emotional state? Lots of women have a baby on their own, but for you it’s risk taking. It’s out of character.”
    He was right. Before she embarked on any new course of action she did her research. And she had. She knew babies back to front. But no amount of research could alter the fact that life had thrown her a curveball. Her baby’s conception hadn’t been planned, and everything that happened next would be unknown and therefore very scary.
    “Doesn’t that show you how much I want this baby?” The tremor was back in her voice. “What can I be but a single mother? I’m pregnant, with no partner.”
    He got to his feet, took a few paces and stopped in front of her. “Have you thought about—”
    “Oh, no. You better not be about to say what I think you’re going to say.”
    “You could consider it. It’s not a bad solution.”
    “Not in a million years would I do that. If you say another word, I’ll throw you out.”
    “Don’t reject the idea out of hand. I know you’re a private person but having other people around, especially a woman in the same situation as you, can be a support.”
    “A woman...?” She frowned. “Wait. What are you talking about?”
    “Sharing a house with another single mother and her kid or kids. What did you think I meant?”
    “Oh.” She pressed a hand to her forehead and sank onto the couch. “I thought— Never mind.”
    He stared at her. Then shook his head as he got it. “Oh, Em, I know you better than that.”
    “I couldn’t.”
    “I wouldn’t want you to,” Darcy said quietly. “I thought you knew me better than that, too.”
    She turned to the window and gazed out at the view of the bay, the merest glimpse of blue between the trees. Okay, the thought of terminating the pregnancy had crossed her mind—once—in the dark hours of the night when she was feeling scared and vulnerable and alone. She’d lain awake wondering how she was going to manage on her own. But that was just night terrors. By morning her fears had evaporated and she’d once again felt happy knowing she would be a mother again.
    Darcy picked up a plush teddy bear from the carpet. The bag of baby things she’d bought earlier had fallen open. Emma hadn’t been able to resist even though it would be months before the baby was born. All Holly’s toys had gone to a church bazaar. He smoothed the bear’s fur. “I want you to be happy, Em.”
    She nodded, not trusting her voice. His good wishes meant a lot to her. But she was so mixed-up, one minute angry with him, the next minute wishing they could still be a family. She had to get that notion right out of her head.
    “What did your parents say?” Darcy asked.
    “I sent an email but I haven’t heard back yet. They’re on the road, somewhere near Darwin, out of phone range.” She sighed. “You know