Read Online Maya by C. W. Huntington - Free Book Online

namkin. As it so happened, arrangements were being made for Krishna’s upcoming wedding. He was to be married to a woman whom he had never met, a woman selected for him by his parents.
    Before coming to India I had known about arranged marriages, but I had not realized how common this practice is, or precisely what it means that the vast majority of Hindu weddings are engineered by the parents of the bride and groom. A desirable candidate is located—in the old days by consultation with village elders, more recently through an ad in the personal section of the newspaper. Once an initial contact is established, background checks are then made through a discreet process of inquiry. At some point an astrologer is consulted in order to compare the charts of the prospective bride and groom and to assess their chances for a successful marriage. Finally, if everything appears to be in order, all four parents hammer out the contractual details of dowry, wedding expenses, and any other potential transfers of material wealth.
    â€œSo it is,” Krishna assured me in his polished South Indian English, “that we shall have the greatest possible opportunity for a happy life together.”
    He was astounded at the willingness of Westerners to plunge into marriage simply on the strength of feelings, feelings that were little more than sublimated lust. How could we possibly be so foolhardy as to hope to support the responsibility for our future together—for our children and ourselves—on such an unstable foundation? Where did we derive such unwarranted confidence in our emotions? The ultimate proof of our immaturity in this matter, the kernel of ignorance that lay at the center of it all, was our peculiar conviction that love was possible outside of marriage. Here Krishna’s voice became resolute.
    â€œOutside of marriage there is only passion, and passion is not to be mistaken for love. Love is built on commitment to one’s dharma—one’s sacred duty—and not on personal desire. One’s dharma is much greater than the personal desires of a man and a woman. The circumstances of life determine to whom we must surrender.” His eyes dropped for a moment; his voice softened. “But the person to whom we surrender is only of secondary importance, for in truth, we are surrendering to our dharma.”
    I mulled this over.
    â€œMr. Stanley,” he began again, “why do you suppose we Hindus marry?”
    â€œSons?” I suggested hesitantly, then quickly retracted my answer. “Children, I mean.”
    â€œBesides that.” He smiled. “What other reason could there be, for the man and the woman?”
    Once again I deliberated for a time and finally admitted I was stumped.
    â€œMarriage,” he said, without the slightest trace of condescension, and with a confidence that I would have given anything to share, “is the seed of love, and the soil where that seed can plant its roots. Only then will it come to flower in children.” On this point he was adamant. “Without the saptapadi , the seven steps, love is impossible. Each of these steps is a vow, and these vows are the foundation of love, not only between a man and a woman, but between man and God as well. One needn’t follow the Hindu system, but there must be a vow. And once made, it can never be broken. I think that Americans find this very difficult to understand and accept.”
    I knew I should just be quiet and listen, but I had to ask. “And what if one is miserable after taking those seven steps? After making the marriage vows? What happens then? Are a Hindu husband and wife always happy together? Do they never argue? Do they never fight and abuse each other? Do they never, ever regret these vows?”
    Krishna reflected for a moment before answering. “It is a risk.”
    â€œBut we’re human,” I insisted. I was determined to press my case. “We can never know