stuff out,” I say. It’s a bit of an
effort not to bolt, but I’ve been dealing with harder challenges all my life.
Forcing myself to make good decisions is easy by comparison.
“So what happened with Jeremy?” Max says.
“He turned out to be a bit less of a jerk than I thought
previously and I was on rebound,” I say. “You interrupted us before anything
actually happened between us.”
I catch the briefest glimpse of anger on Max’s face as he
composes a response, but it fades quickly. “I meant at work,” he said. “We were
broken up; I would be an idiot if I held any grudges over your sex life during
the past week. What did he do that made him seem less like an asshole?”
“You don’t believe me,” I say.
“I’ve said like three times I don’t care what happened,” Max
says.
“You wouldn’t keep bringing it up if you actually didn’t
care. You’re emotionally invested. That’s okay. Nothing happened, really. I
wouldn’t lie to you like that.”
Max shakes his head. “I really don’t care. You can tell me
if something happened, but I’d rather you keep it to yourself.”
This is incredibly frustrating. “I just –“
“I don’t want to know,” he says.
“—told you exactly what happened,” I say, ignoring him. “Why
don’t you believe me?”
“Why do you care if I believe you if I’m okay with it?” he
says.
“Because we’ve always been about trust and honesty and
talking our way through these things,” I say. “What changed?”
“We talked about things honestly and decided to break up,”
Max says. “Remember? We weren’t working.”
“We weren’t working? That’s news to me. I thought you just
got a promotion so you didn’t think you’d be able to dedicate enough time to
the relationship.”
Max stares intently at his plate.
“Was that why we were breaking up?” I ask, suddenly furious.
“Was it because you thought we weren’t working and not because we wouldn’t have
any time together?”
“It was mostly because we wouldn’t have any time,” Max says,
slowly.
“Mostly?”
“I’ve just been really unsatisfied lately. I’ve been
juggling too many things.”
“You think I’m a ball you can drop?”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he says, flustered. “I just
feel like I’m not able to put enough time into everything that matters.”
“So you’re saying I don’t matter.”
“You matter a lot, I just feel like I can’t afford to take
time away from other things to spend it with you.”
“So I don’t matter.”
Max is getting more agitated by the minute. “Look, I’m not
going to quit my job for you, okay?” he says. “That’s what it’s coming down to.
I have a finite amount of time. I can either work or spend it with you, and if
I don’t attend to one for twenty hours a day I lose it. I’ve been catching a
lot of flak lately from the rest of the staff about how I’m not spending as
much time at work as they are. My job is great. This is what I’ve wanted to do
my whole life – I’ve got a great position on a great team, I make good money,
and I love what I do. I’m not willing to give that up right now. Not for you.”
“This has never been a problem before,” I say.
“This has always been a problem,” he says. “There’s a
reason all the other guys at work are either single or married. I’ve been
constantly catching flak at work since we started dating. I’ve just gotten
tired of dealing with it.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because you’ve been worth it,” he says.
“Which is why you dumped me,” I say, holding my ground. I’m
not going to let him make my emotions go all topsy-turvy that easily.
“There was a roadblock in our relationship and I couldn’t
find a way around it,” he says. “I was already time crunched and I’m going to
be working more in the future. What did you expect me to do?”
“So what changed?” I ask. I find myself incredibly
effort not to bolt, but I’ve been dealing with harder challenges all my life.
Forcing myself to make good decisions is easy by comparison.
“So what happened with Jeremy?” Max says.
“He turned out to be a bit less of a jerk than I thought
previously and I was on rebound,” I say. “You interrupted us before anything
actually happened between us.”
I catch the briefest glimpse of anger on Max’s face as he
composes a response, but it fades quickly. “I meant at work,” he said. “We were
broken up; I would be an idiot if I held any grudges over your sex life during
the past week. What did he do that made him seem less like an asshole?”
“You don’t believe me,” I say.
“I’ve said like three times I don’t care what happened,” Max
says.
“You wouldn’t keep bringing it up if you actually didn’t
care. You’re emotionally invested. That’s okay. Nothing happened, really. I
wouldn’t lie to you like that.”
Max shakes his head. “I really don’t care. You can tell me
if something happened, but I’d rather you keep it to yourself.”
This is incredibly frustrating. “I just –“
“I don’t want to know,” he says.
“—told you exactly what happened,” I say, ignoring him. “Why
don’t you believe me?”
“Why do you care if I believe you if I’m okay with it?” he
says.
“Because we’ve always been about trust and honesty and
talking our way through these things,” I say. “What changed?”
“We talked about things honestly and decided to break up,”
Max says. “Remember? We weren’t working.”
“We weren’t working? That’s news to me. I thought you just
got a promotion so you didn’t think you’d be able to dedicate enough time to
the relationship.”
Max stares intently at his plate.
“Was that why we were breaking up?” I ask, suddenly furious.
“Was it because you thought we weren’t working and not because we wouldn’t have
any time together?”
“It was mostly because we wouldn’t have any time,” Max says,
slowly.
“Mostly?”
“I’ve just been really unsatisfied lately. I’ve been
juggling too many things.”
“You think I’m a ball you can drop?”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he says, flustered. “I just
feel like I’m not able to put enough time into everything that matters.”
“So you’re saying I don’t matter.”
“You matter a lot, I just feel like I can’t afford to take
time away from other things to spend it with you.”
“So I don’t matter.”
Max is getting more agitated by the minute. “Look, I’m not
going to quit my job for you, okay?” he says. “That’s what it’s coming down to.
I have a finite amount of time. I can either work or spend it with you, and if
I don’t attend to one for twenty hours a day I lose it. I’ve been catching a
lot of flak lately from the rest of the staff about how I’m not spending as
much time at work as they are. My job is great. This is what I’ve wanted to do
my whole life – I’ve got a great position on a great team, I make good money,
and I love what I do. I’m not willing to give that up right now. Not for you.”
“This has never been a problem before,” I say.
“This has always been a problem,” he says. “There’s a
reason all the other guys at work are either single or married. I’ve been
constantly catching flak at work since we started dating. I’ve just gotten
tired of dealing with it.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because you’ve been worth it,” he says.
“Which is why you dumped me,” I say, holding my ground. I’m
not going to let him make my emotions go all topsy-turvy that easily.
“There was a roadblock in our relationship and I couldn’t
find a way around it,” he says. “I was already time crunched and I’m going to
be working more in the future. What did you expect me to do?”
“So what changed?” I ask. I find myself incredibly
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