what your job was. That makes me a terrible friend, doesn’t it? All I remember about the time you moved in was that the twins were starting to walk and refused to sleep at the same time so I’d become this zombie-mommy monster who never had enough hands—” “But still managed to make me insanely delicious deserts and stop by three times a week just to make sure we were doing okay.” Kelly had probably saved her sanity in those early months. Kelly blinked. “I did that? Huh.” Then her lips curled in her usual crooked smile. “When you put it that way, I sound pretty fabulous. You’re lucky to have me, you slacker.” Lou grinned. “Amen.” “So what did you do, pre-kids?” “I studied languages. I wanted to be a simultaneous translator—mostly because I wanted someone to pay me to fly to exotic locales. I was working as a French tutor and teaching English as a second language when Emma was born.” And Gillian had passed away and suddenly Jack had needed her. “I took a couple weeks off to help, just to get Jack through the funeral and help him find someone permanent.” “Long couple weeks.” Kelly’s bright eyes were unusually serious. “That was the year of the teacher strike.” Kelly shook her head, not comprehending. “But TJ and Emma would have been too young for school.” “They were. But all the kids who normally would have been in school were home. There was a run on qualified childcare. Daycare waiting lists were a hundred names long and a good nanny could name her price. I hadn’t been making that much at my teaching jobs and so I offered to play nanny for Jack for a while. It was never supposed to be permanent, but I fell completely in love with those kids. TJ was such a charmer and Emma was growing so fast.” And she’d been hopelessly in love with their father. “So are you going to go back to work? Now that you’ll be able to?” “I don’t know if I could. I’m so out of practice. And the idea of starting from scratch and pinching pennies for a room in a tiny apartment is pretty unappealing.” She’d been spoiled by this life. By not having to worry whether the bills would be paid. She felt like a divorcee who’d been out of the workforce for four years, but she wasn’t even going to get alimony. “I don’t know what I’ll do.” Which sounded too much like I don’t know who I am for comfort. She’d gotten so comfortable in this life. Lou knew she used to feel passionately about things other than the kids and Jack, things that were just about her, but now she couldn’t even remember what that passion felt like. “Do you ever feel like you’ve forgotten how to be the kind of person who chases her dreams?” “Truthfully? Not really. But I’m not a big dreamer. Give me a peaceful afternoon with a good book and I’m happy. But that doesn’t mean the way you feel is wrong.” “Yes, it is,” she insisted. “Because it’s all a lie. A giant game of freaking pretend and there’s no magic wand to wave to turn it into a real life.” Kelly frowned. “You lost me. Or I’m already drunk.” She eyed the glass in her hand. “This batch is a little strong, isn’t it?” Lou shrugged and took another drink. She could use strong today. The last few weeks had been hell on her emotions—a part of her almost wished Jack would go already so she could stop praying for a stay of execution. The sliding door whooshed open. “Lunch is served.” Jack stood in the opening, carrying a tray piled high with meat and wearing the expression of a conquering hero. Lou felt something tight in her chest loosen at the sight of him—and as soon as she realized it had, her stomach soured. That was who she was. The girl who silently adored Jack too much for her own good. The girl who pinned her entire future on the fantasy that someday he would love her back. Jack was right to do the show. She couldn’t be that girl anymore. # “The Challenges are character