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that …
    I’ll tell him all the troubles I have had
    And since he doesn’t hear, at least he won’t feel bad.
(
To
QUIXOTE )
    When I first got home my wife Teresa beat me,
    But the blows fell very lightly on my back.
    She kept missing every other stroke and crying from the heart
    That while I was gone she’d gone and lost the knack! (
Spoken
)
    Of course I hit her back, Your Grace, but she’s a lot harder than I am, and you know what they say—“Whether the stone hits the pitcher or the pitcher hits the stone, it’s going to be bad for the pitcher.” So I’ve got bruises from here to—
   (
An admonishing look from the
PADRE .
He sings
)
    A little gossip … a little chat …
    A little idle talk … of this and that …
    If no one listens, then it’s just as well,
    At least I won’t get caught in any lies I tell!
(
Conspiratorially to
QUIXOTE )
    Oh, I haven’t fought a windmill in a fortnight,
    And the humble joys get duller every day.
    Why, when I’m asleep a dragon with his fiery tongue a-waggin’
    Whispers, “Sancho, won’t you please come out and play?”
    DR. CARRASCO (
Roused
) That’s enough now.
    SANCHO Why? What did I do?
    DR. CARRASCO I warned you!
    SANCHO I didn’t do anything, I was only trying to—
    DON QUIXOTE (
Barely audible
) My friend.
    SANCHO (
Politely, as all turn, startled
) Did Your Grace say something?
    DON QUIXOTE You’re a fat little bag stuffed with proverbs.
    SANCHO Yes, Your Grace. Well, as I was saying—
    ANTONIA (
Running to
QUIXOTE ) Uncle!
    DON QUIXOTE My dear … (
His eyes go to the others
) Good morning, Padre … or is it evening?
    PADRE Alonso …
    DR. CARRASCO How do you feel, sir?
    DON QUIXOTE Not well, my friends.
    DR. CARRASCO Can you speak your name?
    DON QUIXOTE (
Puzzled
) Should a man not know his own name?
    DR. CARRASCO If you would say it …?
    DON QUIXOTE (
In surprise
) Alonso Quijana. ( DR. CARRASCO
gives a triumphant look to the others
) Padre …
    PADRE Here beside you.
    DON QUIXOTE I should like to make a will.
    PADRE Of course.
    (
He exits to get materials
)
    ANTONIA (
Anxiously, as
DON QUIXOTE
closes his eyes and is silent
) Uncle …?
    DON QUIXOTE (
Faintly
) Forgive me, my dear. When I close my eyes I see a pale horse … and he beckons me—mount.
    ANTONIA No, Uncle. You will get well!
    DON QUIXOTE (
Smiling
) Why should a man get well when he is dying? It’s such a waste of good health. (
With a feeble gesture
) Come closer, my friends. (
They come to the bedside
) In my illness I dreamed so strangely … Oh, such dreams! It seemed I was a … no … I dare not tell lest you think me mad.
    ANTONIA Put them from your mind!
    DON QUIXOTE (
Deeply weary
) They are gone, my dear … nor do I know what they meant. (
As the
PADRE
re-enters
) Padre …?
    PADRE Speak, my friend, and I shall write.
    DON QUIXOTE I, Alonso Quijana … with one foot in the stirrup and the agony of death already upon me …
    (
The
PADRE ’
s
pen scratches busily. From the front of the house the thudding of the doorknocker is heard
)
    ANTONIA (
To the
HOUSEKEEPER
as she goes to see
) Don’t admit
anyone
.
    DON QUIXOTE  … do hereby make the following disposition of my estate. The bulk I bequeath to my beloved niece, Antonia Quijana … (
From off comes a racket of voices in vehement argument
)
—
with the exception of certain personal bequests which are as follows—
    (
The
HOUSEKEEPER
backs in, pushed roughly by
ALDONZA .
Everyone speaks at once
)
    HOUSEKEEPER (
In fear and
ANTONIA What is this?
frenzy
) You cannot! I Sansón! say you cannot!
ALDONZA
Get out of my way, you hag—
DR. CARRASCO
It’s that slut from the Inn.
    HOUSEKEEPER I tried to stop her! She threatened to—
    ALDONZA Tear your eyes out!
    DR. CARRASCO (
Advancing on
ALDONZA
grimly
) Get out of here.
    ALDONZA And if you touch me again, by God—
    DR. CARRASCO Get out of here!
    ALDONZA Not before I see him!
    DR. CARRASCO I’m warning you—go quietly or