me?” she persisted, levering up on her elbows.
He looked unutterably weary. “Barrie, we both know that you’d scream the minute I touched you with intent,” he said. “You couldn’t help it. And even if I could feel anything with you, it might be just the way it was before. I might lose my head again, hurt you again.”
“I’m not a virgin anymore,” she said without thinking.
His face was quiet, expressionless as he looked down at her. “It’s a moot point. My body is dead, as far as sex is concerned. For both our sakes, let well enough alone. It’s too soon for experimenting.”
Before she could speak, he’d gone out the door, closing it behind him with a firm snap. Barrie lay back, turning what he’d said over in her mind.
He knew, finally, about the baby they’d lost. She didn’t know if she was sorry or glad, but it had been cathartic to have it all out in the open. He grieved for their child, at least, as she did. But he had nothing to give her, and she still loved him. It was a problem that had no easy resolution, and in the morning a new complication was due to present itself. She wondered how she was going to react to the widow Holton. It would be an interesting introduction, at the very least. Leslie Holton blew in the next morning like a redheaded tornado, driving a brand-new shiny black Jaguar. Peering through the lacy curtains in the living room when she drove up, Barrie couldn’t help thinking that the car suited her. Mrs. Holton was sleek and dangerous-looking, a powerhouse no less than the car she drove. She was wearing a black-and-white suit. Its starkness made her pale skin even paler and presented a backdrop for her fiery hair. Wickedly Barrie wondered how much of it came out of a bottle, because the widow was obviously over twenty-one. Way over.
She went out into the hall and met up with Dawson who had just come out of his study. There were dark circles under his eyes. He appeared worn, as if he hadn’t slept. He looked across at Barrie, and she realized that he hadn’t slept at all.
She moved toward him. Last night had calmed some old terrors, the way they’d talked had changed things in some subtle way. She stopped in front of him and looked up.
“You haven’t had any sleep,” she said gently.
His face hardened. “Don’t push your luck.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “Am I?”
“Looking at me like that is chancy.”
She smiled. “What will you do?” she chided.
Something equally reckless flared in his pale eyes. “Want to see?”
He moved forward with an economy of motion to scoop her up against his chest. He held her there, searching her eyes at point-blank range.
Her arms tightened around his strong neck and she looked back at him curiously. He’d wanted the baby, too. That knowledge had changed the way she envisioned him. Even though there was some residual fear of him in her, the memory of the grief she’d seen in his face last night tempered it.
“Doesn’t anybody hear the doorbell ringing?” Corlie muttered as she came out of the kitchen and suddenly spotted Dawson holding Barrie off the floor in his arms. “Well, excuse me.” She chuckled, sparing them a wicked glance as she went toward the front door.
Barrie started to speak but Dawson shook his head. “Don’t disillusion her,” he whispered. “Let her hope.”
Something in the way he said it made her look at him curiously. His pale eyes fell to her mouth and he hesitated.
“If you wanted to kiss me, you could,” she said boldly. “I mean, I wouldn’t scream or anything.”
“Cheeky brat,” he muttered, but he was still looking at her mouth.
“I can always tell when you’ve been on a trip to the station in Australia,” she whispered.
“Can you?” His head bent closer, his mouth threatening her soft lips. His arms contracted a little. Somewhere in the distance, a stringent voice was demanding that Corlie have someone get luggage out of the Jaguar.
“Yes,” she whispered at his
He looked unutterably weary. “Barrie, we both know that you’d scream the minute I touched you with intent,” he said. “You couldn’t help it. And even if I could feel anything with you, it might be just the way it was before. I might lose my head again, hurt you again.”
“I’m not a virgin anymore,” she said without thinking.
His face was quiet, expressionless as he looked down at her. “It’s a moot point. My body is dead, as far as sex is concerned. For both our sakes, let well enough alone. It’s too soon for experimenting.”
Before she could speak, he’d gone out the door, closing it behind him with a firm snap. Barrie lay back, turning what he’d said over in her mind.
He knew, finally, about the baby they’d lost. She didn’t know if she was sorry or glad, but it had been cathartic to have it all out in the open. He grieved for their child, at least, as she did. But he had nothing to give her, and she still loved him. It was a problem that had no easy resolution, and in the morning a new complication was due to present itself. She wondered how she was going to react to the widow Holton. It would be an interesting introduction, at the very least. Leslie Holton blew in the next morning like a redheaded tornado, driving a brand-new shiny black Jaguar. Peering through the lacy curtains in the living room when she drove up, Barrie couldn’t help thinking that the car suited her. Mrs. Holton was sleek and dangerous-looking, a powerhouse no less than the car she drove. She was wearing a black-and-white suit. Its starkness made her pale skin even paler and presented a backdrop for her fiery hair. Wickedly Barrie wondered how much of it came out of a bottle, because the widow was obviously over twenty-one. Way over.
She went out into the hall and met up with Dawson who had just come out of his study. There were dark circles under his eyes. He appeared worn, as if he hadn’t slept. He looked across at Barrie, and she realized that he hadn’t slept at all.
She moved toward him. Last night had calmed some old terrors, the way they’d talked had changed things in some subtle way. She stopped in front of him and looked up.
“You haven’t had any sleep,” she said gently.
His face hardened. “Don’t push your luck.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “Am I?”
“Looking at me like that is chancy.”
She smiled. “What will you do?” she chided.
Something equally reckless flared in his pale eyes. “Want to see?”
He moved forward with an economy of motion to scoop her up against his chest. He held her there, searching her eyes at point-blank range.
Her arms tightened around his strong neck and she looked back at him curiously. He’d wanted the baby, too. That knowledge had changed the way she envisioned him. Even though there was some residual fear of him in her, the memory of the grief she’d seen in his face last night tempered it.
“Doesn’t anybody hear the doorbell ringing?” Corlie muttered as she came out of the kitchen and suddenly spotted Dawson holding Barrie off the floor in his arms. “Well, excuse me.” She chuckled, sparing them a wicked glance as she went toward the front door.
Barrie started to speak but Dawson shook his head. “Don’t disillusion her,” he whispered. “Let her hope.”
Something in the way he said it made her look at him curiously. His pale eyes fell to her mouth and he hesitated.
“If you wanted to kiss me, you could,” she said boldly. “I mean, I wouldn’t scream or anything.”
“Cheeky brat,” he muttered, but he was still looking at her mouth.
“I can always tell when you’ve been on a trip to the station in Australia,” she whispered.
“Can you?” His head bent closer, his mouth threatening her soft lips. His arms contracted a little. Somewhere in the distance, a stringent voice was demanding that Corlie have someone get luggage out of the Jaguar.
“Yes,” she whispered at his
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