Read Online Mama Does Time: A Mace Bauer Mystery by Deborah Sharp - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Deborah Sharp
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little boy in a red shirt who couldnt wait to be called on.
Thats right. But we dont talk out of turn, do we? Anyone with the right answer today will get a special award. But you have to wait til youre called on to get the prize, I said.
Now, this skunk I trapped because it was eating up the tomatoes in some ladys garden. She definitely didnt want it around because when she invited her friends over for cards, seeing a skunk freaked them out. It was probably somebodys pet, because it had been descented. Who knows what that means?
Fewer hands went up this time. I called on the red-shirted boy so he wouldnt feel bad.
It means he dont stink no more, he said.
Doesnt stink anymore. Very good. Now, it was wrong to buy this skunk as a pet, and then let it go in the wild, I said. You know why? Because skunks use that stinky smell as a defense against bigger animals. Without it, this little guy was as helpless as a kitten.
And so it went for the next thirty-five minutes. A demonstration with something furred or slithery; a lesson about environmental responsibility. Finally, I herded the kids to the pool holding the seven-foot-long Ollie. There, I lectured them about staying away from alligators in the wild.
Never, ever feed an alligator, or tease it in any way, I said. If they get too comfortable around people, its dangerousnot just for you, but for them. Thats when gators become what our state laws call a nuisance animal. And that means that someone with a trappers licenselike my cousin, Dwightcan kill them and sell them for their meat and hide.
I thought of my stuffed-head key holder at home. It wasnt that gators fault someone built a house with a pool in his territory. But once they did, it wasnt safe for him to make himself at home there anymore. So now his head graced my coffee table, like a trophy buck on the basement wall of a deer hunter up north.
I pointed over a low concrete wall at Ollie, lolling in his pond. Now, that gators here because he became a nuisance to people who like to play golf. But we didnt kill him. We got special permission to keep him for educational purposes. Does anybody know what that means?
Hands shot up. I picked a little girl in a yellow sundress.
Teaching?
Right, I told her. Now, Ill educate you a little about Ollie.
Thirty-one small bodies crowded toward the pond. Careful, now! You may peek over, but you may not climb onto that wall.
When theyd chosen their spots, I continued, A gators jaws are about the most powerful thing in the animal kingdom, I told them. If Ollie were to clamp down on your arm or leg, the pressure in his bite is more than sixteen times harder than your average big dog. His jaws are even stronger than a lions.
At this point, I tossed a whole raw chicken into Ollies gaping mouth. Some of the girls screamed when the gators jaws snapped shut over his meal. I took my bow.
Handing off the kids to one of their teachers, I collapsed on a park bench. I was staring up at the sky through the green-needled branches of a cypress tree when I heard a tentative voice.
Excuse me, Ms. Bauer?
A pretty redhead peered at me from the end of the bench.
Im here with the kids, she said. Theyre going to want to know: Howd Ollie get hurt?
A fight with another male, probably over a mate. And if you think Ollie looks bad, you should have seen the other guy.
The line usually gets a laugh, but the teacher didnt crack a smile.
Uhm I wonder if I could speak to you about another matter?
With the kind of day Id had, with her hesitation and demeanor, this couldnt be good.
Sure. I patted the bench next to me, inviting her to sit down. Whats on your mind?
I knew your mother real well. I mean, I know her. She corrected the past tense. Mama wasnt dead; she was just accused of killing someone else. I was in her Sunday school class.
You and half of Himmarshee, I thought . But I was silent, preparing for the punch line
Thats right. But we dont talk out of turn, do we? Anyone with the right answer today will get a special award. But you have to wait til youre called on to get the prize, I said.
Now, this skunk I trapped because it was eating up the tomatoes in some ladys garden. She definitely didnt want it around because when she invited her friends over for cards, seeing a skunk freaked them out. It was probably somebodys pet, because it had been descented. Who knows what that means?
Fewer hands went up this time. I called on the red-shirted boy so he wouldnt feel bad.
It means he dont stink no more, he said.
Doesnt stink anymore. Very good. Now, it was wrong to buy this skunk as a pet, and then let it go in the wild, I said. You know why? Because skunks use that stinky smell as a defense against bigger animals. Without it, this little guy was as helpless as a kitten.
And so it went for the next thirty-five minutes. A demonstration with something furred or slithery; a lesson about environmental responsibility. Finally, I herded the kids to the pool holding the seven-foot-long Ollie. There, I lectured them about staying away from alligators in the wild.
Never, ever feed an alligator, or tease it in any way, I said. If they get too comfortable around people, its dangerousnot just for you, but for them. Thats when gators become what our state laws call a nuisance animal. And that means that someone with a trappers licenselike my cousin, Dwightcan kill them and sell them for their meat and hide.
I thought of my stuffed-head key holder at home. It wasnt that gators fault someone built a house with a pool in his territory. But once they did, it wasnt safe for him to make himself at home there anymore. So now his head graced my coffee table, like a trophy buck on the basement wall of a deer hunter up north.
I pointed over a low concrete wall at Ollie, lolling in his pond. Now, that gators here because he became a nuisance to people who like to play golf. But we didnt kill him. We got special permission to keep him for educational purposes. Does anybody know what that means?
Hands shot up. I picked a little girl in a yellow sundress.
Teaching?
Right, I told her. Now, Ill educate you a little about Ollie.
Thirty-one small bodies crowded toward the pond. Careful, now! You may peek over, but you may not climb onto that wall.
When theyd chosen their spots, I continued, A gators jaws are about the most powerful thing in the animal kingdom, I told them. If Ollie were to clamp down on your arm or leg, the pressure in his bite is more than sixteen times harder than your average big dog. His jaws are even stronger than a lions.
At this point, I tossed a whole raw chicken into Ollies gaping mouth. Some of the girls screamed when the gators jaws snapped shut over his meal. I took my bow.
Handing off the kids to one of their teachers, I collapsed on a park bench. I was staring up at the sky through the green-needled branches of a cypress tree when I heard a tentative voice.
Excuse me, Ms. Bauer?
A pretty redhead peered at me from the end of the bench.
Im here with the kids, she said. Theyre going to want to know: Howd Ollie get hurt?
A fight with another male, probably over a mate. And if you think Ollie looks bad, you should have seen the other guy.
The line usually gets a laugh, but the teacher didnt crack a smile.
Uhm I wonder if I could speak to you about another matter?
With the kind of day Id had, with her hesitation and demeanor, this couldnt be good.
Sure. I patted the bench next to me, inviting her to sit down. Whats on your mind?
I knew your mother real well. I mean, I know her. She corrected the past tense. Mama wasnt dead; she was just accused of killing someone else. I was in her Sunday school class.
You and half of Himmarshee, I thought . But I was silent, preparing for the punch line
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