diffident youngster who was often so tongue-tied at school that the nuns at Saint Andrew’s would sometimes call her parents to ask if there was a problem. Being almost a complete opposite in character, Ruth was no competition to Madonna, but rather the bashful foil to her extrovert personality. ‘She was a happy girl,’ recalls Ruth, ‘never moody. She was pretty bold and confident about the things she said and did, more willing to take a chance at things.’ The two girls enjoyed sleepovers at each other’s houses, played Ruth’s latest Tamla Motown records – Madonna preferred dance to music, Ruth remembers – gossiped, shopped and hung out like countless other teenage girls.
As she came to know the Ciccone family, Ruth realized that Madonna not only stood out from her classmates, but also from the rest of her family. Her outsize personality, her compulsive need to be noticed, were at variance to the characters of her father, stepmother and brothers and sisters. One aspect of that ‘apartness’ was only too glaringly obvious, however – Madonna’s treatment of her stepmother.
Ruth, and others in her circle like Carol Belanger, were well aware of the animosity Madonna displayed towards Joan. ‘I felt sorry for her stepmother,’ Ruth confesses. ‘It was tough for her. She always encouraged Madonna, she never complained about her. But you could see what was going on when you saw them together, fighting and bickering. Madonna would totally ride her, acting like a little kid. It was a big rebellion, a long running conflict.’
One particular battle was over makeup and what was or was not considered to be appropriate dress – not altogether surprisingly, since it is a battlefield familiar to most parents of girls. Joan did not want her oldest stepdaughter to use makeup, and, reacting to yet another act of defiance, ordered her to wear clothes that were suitable for school, rather than for a nightclub. So every day Madonna would leave for school dressed as her stepmother had decreed. As soon as she reached school, however, she would head for the bathroom, and there swap her ‘sensible’ clothes for a short skirt or skimpy top she had smuggled out of the house in a brown paper bag. Having changed, she would proceed to apply her warpaint. At the end of the school day she would change back again, wipe off the makeup and walk home.
The atmosphere in the Ciccone household came to be tainted all too often by Madonna’s antipathy towards Joan. On another occasion, in 1972, she clashed with her stepmother when she returned home, feeling very grown up, after a summer break spent at her grandmother’s home in Bay City. While there she had learned to smoke cigarettes, had worn tight jeans and makeup, and had watched her uncle Carl’s amateur rock band, which used to rehearse in her grandmother’s garage. Her changed appearance did not amuse Joan Ciccone, who was especially concerned that her father would be horrified if he saw his eldest daughter dressed like a ‘floozy.’ Rather than toe the line, however, Madonna and her friends deliberately dressed as ‘floozies,’ padding out their bras, wearing tight sweaters and daubing their faces with heavy makeup and lipstick.
With all the unfairness and self-indulgence of youth exacerbated by her highly developed sense of the melodramatic, Madonna came to view herself as the Cinderella of the Ciccones, forced to sweep and dust and care for her younger siblings while her older brothers ducked their responsibilities and her friends played in the sunshine. Years later, she was to claim, in an interview with Carrie Fisher for Rolling Stone magazine, that although her father never hit her, Joan Ciccone frequently slapped her around, on one occasion, when she was about twelve, giving her a bloody nose that forced her to miss church because the blood had stained her dress. To this and other complaints was added the fact that, allegedly, her stepmother would not allow her to
As she came to know the Ciccone family, Ruth realized that Madonna not only stood out from her classmates, but also from the rest of her family. Her outsize personality, her compulsive need to be noticed, were at variance to the characters of her father, stepmother and brothers and sisters. One aspect of that ‘apartness’ was only too glaringly obvious, however – Madonna’s treatment of her stepmother.
Ruth, and others in her circle like Carol Belanger, were well aware of the animosity Madonna displayed towards Joan. ‘I felt sorry for her stepmother,’ Ruth confesses. ‘It was tough for her. She always encouraged Madonna, she never complained about her. But you could see what was going on when you saw them together, fighting and bickering. Madonna would totally ride her, acting like a little kid. It was a big rebellion, a long running conflict.’
One particular battle was over makeup and what was or was not considered to be appropriate dress – not altogether surprisingly, since it is a battlefield familiar to most parents of girls. Joan did not want her oldest stepdaughter to use makeup, and, reacting to yet another act of defiance, ordered her to wear clothes that were suitable for school, rather than for a nightclub. So every day Madonna would leave for school dressed as her stepmother had decreed. As soon as she reached school, however, she would head for the bathroom, and there swap her ‘sensible’ clothes for a short skirt or skimpy top she had smuggled out of the house in a brown paper bag. Having changed, she would proceed to apply her warpaint. At the end of the school day she would change back again, wipe off the makeup and walk home.
The atmosphere in the Ciccone household came to be tainted all too often by Madonna’s antipathy towards Joan. On another occasion, in 1972, she clashed with her stepmother when she returned home, feeling very grown up, after a summer break spent at her grandmother’s home in Bay City. While there she had learned to smoke cigarettes, had worn tight jeans and makeup, and had watched her uncle Carl’s amateur rock band, which used to rehearse in her grandmother’s garage. Her changed appearance did not amuse Joan Ciccone, who was especially concerned that her father would be horrified if he saw his eldest daughter dressed like a ‘floozy.’ Rather than toe the line, however, Madonna and her friends deliberately dressed as ‘floozies,’ padding out their bras, wearing tight sweaters and daubing their faces with heavy makeup and lipstick.
With all the unfairness and self-indulgence of youth exacerbated by her highly developed sense of the melodramatic, Madonna came to view herself as the Cinderella of the Ciccones, forced to sweep and dust and care for her younger siblings while her older brothers ducked their responsibilities and her friends played in the sunshine. Years later, she was to claim, in an interview with Carrie Fisher for Rolling Stone magazine, that although her father never hit her, Joan Ciccone frequently slapped her around, on one occasion, when she was about twelve, giving her a bloody nose that forced her to miss church because the blood had stained her dress. To this and other complaints was added the fact that, allegedly, her stepmother would not allow her to
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