Read Online MA11-12 Myth-ion Improbable Something Myth-Inc by Robert Asprin - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Robert Asprin
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nodded her head at the bartender, sort of like tipping her hat as we reached the wide bar.
“A little something to drink, a little food, and a decent way to work off the debt.” Clearly it had been the right thing to say, since the guy smiled like he had just hit the jackpot.
“Strangers are always welcome in my place,” he said, reaching behind him and getting two glasses off the counter on the back wall. He put them on the bar and looked at Glenda, then me. “What’ll wet your whistle?”
At that moment I was really glad that Glenda was doing the talking. I was fairly certain he was asking what we wanted to drink, but I wasn’t totally certain, and I had no idea what he had to offer that could do that to a whistle.
“Oh,” she said, “whatever you have will be fine with us.”
The guy grabbed a large bottle of orange liquid and filled both glasses to the top. Then he slid them to the edge of the bar in front of us.
“Thank you, kind sir,” Glenda said.
Again the guy beamed.
“Just grab a seat and I’ll rustle you up some of my best grub.”
At that moment I wanted to bang my translator pendent on the bar to make it work right.
“Nothing special,” she said, smiling at the guy and winking.
He beamed again, his face red as he turned and headed for a back room. It seemed Glenda could charm just about any guy, no matter what dimension. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
She picked up her orange drink, indicated that I do the same, and then headed for a table in the corner, a little ways away from the rest of the patrons. I followed her, taking a chair with my back to the wall so I could see everything going on.
After we were both seated I whispered to her, “You can understand him?”
She shrugged. “Mostly going with the flow.”
“So we’re going to have to eat grubs,” I whispered, “to go with the flow?”
I had never eaten a grub, and wasn’t excited about having my first now.
She laughed and patted my hand. “I think ‘grub’ means food in this dimension.”
“Well, that’s a relief.”
“Yeah, isn’t it?”
I took a tentative sip of my drink and damn near spat it all over the table. It wasn’t orange juice at all. It tasted like pulped carrots. Sour-tasting carrots.
“Interesting,” Glenda said after taking a drink. Then she turned to me and made a face that only I could see. She didn’t much like it either.
I glanced around at the other patrons in the place. Everyone had a glass of the carrot drink in front of them. It looked as if it was the only drink the place served.
At that moment the guy came out of the back room carrying two plates. With a smile and a flourish he slid them in front of us.
Vegetables. Asparagus, carrots, celery, a few sliced tomatoes, and part of a cucumber, artfully arranged on a bed of what looked like grass.
“Wonderful,” Glenda said, smiling at the man with her biggest and most alluring smile. “I hope we can find a way to repay you for this feast.”
The guy had the common decency to blush.
“I’m sure we will work something out.”
At that he beat a hasty retreat to the bar.
Fingers seemed to be the preferred method of getting the food from the plate to the mouth, so I picked up one piece of celery and bit into it. It was soft, not fresh, and had a faint taste of horse dung.
I hope I managed to swallow it without looking too insulting to anyone who could see me.
Glenda tried a piece of cucumber. I could tell it wasn’t good either from how slowly she chewed and then forced herself to swallow.
“We’re in a vegetarian dimension,” I whispered as Glenda gave the bartender an okay sign that the food was good. “What do they do with all the cattle you claim are here?”
“I have no idea,” Glenda whispered. “But if I have to eat or drink any more of this garbage I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“Pretend to eat and I’ll see if I can get some answers,” she said.
She stood and moved
“A little something to drink, a little food, and a decent way to work off the debt.” Clearly it had been the right thing to say, since the guy smiled like he had just hit the jackpot.
“Strangers are always welcome in my place,” he said, reaching behind him and getting two glasses off the counter on the back wall. He put them on the bar and looked at Glenda, then me. “What’ll wet your whistle?”
At that moment I was really glad that Glenda was doing the talking. I was fairly certain he was asking what we wanted to drink, but I wasn’t totally certain, and I had no idea what he had to offer that could do that to a whistle.
“Oh,” she said, “whatever you have will be fine with us.”
The guy grabbed a large bottle of orange liquid and filled both glasses to the top. Then he slid them to the edge of the bar in front of us.
“Thank you, kind sir,” Glenda said.
Again the guy beamed.
“Just grab a seat and I’ll rustle you up some of my best grub.”
At that moment I wanted to bang my translator pendent on the bar to make it work right.
“Nothing special,” she said, smiling at the guy and winking.
He beamed again, his face red as he turned and headed for a back room. It seemed Glenda could charm just about any guy, no matter what dimension. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
She picked up her orange drink, indicated that I do the same, and then headed for a table in the corner, a little ways away from the rest of the patrons. I followed her, taking a chair with my back to the wall so I could see everything going on.
After we were both seated I whispered to her, “You can understand him?”
She shrugged. “Mostly going with the flow.”
“So we’re going to have to eat grubs,” I whispered, “to go with the flow?”
I had never eaten a grub, and wasn’t excited about having my first now.
She laughed and patted my hand. “I think ‘grub’ means food in this dimension.”
“Well, that’s a relief.”
“Yeah, isn’t it?”
I took a tentative sip of my drink and damn near spat it all over the table. It wasn’t orange juice at all. It tasted like pulped carrots. Sour-tasting carrots.
“Interesting,” Glenda said after taking a drink. Then she turned to me and made a face that only I could see. She didn’t much like it either.
I glanced around at the other patrons in the place. Everyone had a glass of the carrot drink in front of them. It looked as if it was the only drink the place served.
At that moment the guy came out of the back room carrying two plates. With a smile and a flourish he slid them in front of us.
Vegetables. Asparagus, carrots, celery, a few sliced tomatoes, and part of a cucumber, artfully arranged on a bed of what looked like grass.
“Wonderful,” Glenda said, smiling at the man with her biggest and most alluring smile. “I hope we can find a way to repay you for this feast.”
The guy had the common decency to blush.
“I’m sure we will work something out.”
At that he beat a hasty retreat to the bar.
Fingers seemed to be the preferred method of getting the food from the plate to the mouth, so I picked up one piece of celery and bit into it. It was soft, not fresh, and had a faint taste of horse dung.
I hope I managed to swallow it without looking too insulting to anyone who could see me.
Glenda tried a piece of cucumber. I could tell it wasn’t good either from how slowly she chewed and then forced herself to swallow.
“We’re in a vegetarian dimension,” I whispered as Glenda gave the bartender an okay sign that the food was good. “What do they do with all the cattle you claim are here?”
“I have no idea,” Glenda whispered. “But if I have to eat or drink any more of this garbage I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“Pretend to eat and I’ll see if I can get some answers,” she said.
She stood and moved
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