Read Online Lustful Gaze (London Loves #6) by Julie Farrell - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Julie Farrell
Ads: Link
house.
Scott saw that young Edward was still dressed in his bathrobe, and he was slouched against the headboard. He’d swept his hair back now so it wasn’t in his eyes anymore, and his face was clean, but his cheeks were streaked with tears.
“Hey,” Scott said. “You wanna talk? Did you have a bad dream?”
His voice quivered. “I dreamt I was being beaten up. I was… I was scared.”
“Aw, it’s okay.” Scott sat down on the bed and instinctively hugged him. Edward sunk into Scott’s arms and rested his head on his bare chest. He was warm, but his face was damp from the tears.
Edward spoke quietly. “I tried looking for that guy in the mirror, but all I saw was a loser. A filthy fucking dropout.”
Scott stroked his hair. “You just need to be patient. He’ll turn up.”
Edward raised his face and they shared a moment of tender eye contact.
Scott smiled. “He’s in there. I can see him.”
Edward’s expression sunk as his emotion cracked. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with my life, Scott! I feel cheap and dirty – like a fucking object. Like my only worth is to give sad men cheap thrills behind their wife’s back. And, god, do they moan about how unhappy their marriages are? I feel like punching them half the time.”
“What kinds of things did you do for them? We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
“It’s okay. I want to.” Edward eased himself out of Scott’s arms. “I don’t tend to do anything more than oral. I did anal a couple of times when they offered me a good price, but it was fucking horrible because they were rough and it hurt.”
“God, you poor thing. And did you always see the same guys?”
“Sometimes. I do have regulars, but they get bored easily so they look for the new boys. It’s hurtful in a strange way.”
“But you get plenty of… er… trade?”
“Yeah, mostly. But there have been nights when I’ve stood there freezing my bollocks off and haven’t earned a penny. I don’t know how anyone could think this is a glamorous job – it’s fucking horrible. And do you know the worst part? A few months ago I stupidly started to fall for one of my clients.”
“Really?”
Edward fiddled with the belt of his bathrobe. “Yeah. He was wealthy and, I don’t know why, but I started to think he’d save me from this fucked-up mess.”
Sympathy twisted in Scott’s chest. “Did you fall in love with him?”
Edward laughed cynically. “Sort of. We talked; he took me out to dinner. He was married to a woman – most of them are. I guess gay men go to saunas… Anyway, he hinted that he might leave his wife to be with me. Or maybe it was me reading too much into it. I did anal with him, both ways. It was nicer than the other times. He was more tender.”
“What happened to him? Did you tell him how you felt?”
“Nah, he dropped me suddenly. Got bored, I s’pose. I hadn’t heard from him for a week-or-so, then I saw him with another guy – a proper escort – from an agency – not a faggy little rent boy like me. Those escort boys get paid shitloads more than we do. I guess he’d had fun slumming it and wanted the high class stuff.”
Scott squeezed Edward on the shoulder. “Don’t say that about yourself. No one’s better than anyone else.”
“I fucking hate rich people. I hate them. I’ll never let myself get sucked in by another guy. I’ll just concentrate on sucking them off .”
Scott wanted to tell him not to give up on people. On men. There were plenty of wonderful men out there. But he knew his words would sound empty after everything this poor kid had been through.
Scott frowned. “So why didn’t you join an escort agency, if they’re paid better?”
“Oh, I did try. But they already had enough boys who looked like crack-whores. Apparently the market is flooded with the crack-whore-chic look. Believe me, Scott, I’ve tried every fucking agency in London – acting, modelling, film extras.
Scott saw that young Edward was still dressed in his bathrobe, and he was slouched against the headboard. He’d swept his hair back now so it wasn’t in his eyes anymore, and his face was clean, but his cheeks were streaked with tears.
“Hey,” Scott said. “You wanna talk? Did you have a bad dream?”
His voice quivered. “I dreamt I was being beaten up. I was… I was scared.”
“Aw, it’s okay.” Scott sat down on the bed and instinctively hugged him. Edward sunk into Scott’s arms and rested his head on his bare chest. He was warm, but his face was damp from the tears.
Edward spoke quietly. “I tried looking for that guy in the mirror, but all I saw was a loser. A filthy fucking dropout.”
Scott stroked his hair. “You just need to be patient. He’ll turn up.”
Edward raised his face and they shared a moment of tender eye contact.
Scott smiled. “He’s in there. I can see him.”
Edward’s expression sunk as his emotion cracked. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with my life, Scott! I feel cheap and dirty – like a fucking object. Like my only worth is to give sad men cheap thrills behind their wife’s back. And, god, do they moan about how unhappy their marriages are? I feel like punching them half the time.”
“What kinds of things did you do for them? We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
“It’s okay. I want to.” Edward eased himself out of Scott’s arms. “I don’t tend to do anything more than oral. I did anal a couple of times when they offered me a good price, but it was fucking horrible because they were rough and it hurt.”
“God, you poor thing. And did you always see the same guys?”
“Sometimes. I do have regulars, but they get bored easily so they look for the new boys. It’s hurtful in a strange way.”
“But you get plenty of… er… trade?”
“Yeah, mostly. But there have been nights when I’ve stood there freezing my bollocks off and haven’t earned a penny. I don’t know how anyone could think this is a glamorous job – it’s fucking horrible. And do you know the worst part? A few months ago I stupidly started to fall for one of my clients.”
“Really?”
Edward fiddled with the belt of his bathrobe. “Yeah. He was wealthy and, I don’t know why, but I started to think he’d save me from this fucked-up mess.”
Sympathy twisted in Scott’s chest. “Did you fall in love with him?”
Edward laughed cynically. “Sort of. We talked; he took me out to dinner. He was married to a woman – most of them are. I guess gay men go to saunas… Anyway, he hinted that he might leave his wife to be with me. Or maybe it was me reading too much into it. I did anal with him, both ways. It was nicer than the other times. He was more tender.”
“What happened to him? Did you tell him how you felt?”
“Nah, he dropped me suddenly. Got bored, I s’pose. I hadn’t heard from him for a week-or-so, then I saw him with another guy – a proper escort – from an agency – not a faggy little rent boy like me. Those escort boys get paid shitloads more than we do. I guess he’d had fun slumming it and wanted the high class stuff.”
Scott squeezed Edward on the shoulder. “Don’t say that about yourself. No one’s better than anyone else.”
“I fucking hate rich people. I hate them. I’ll never let myself get sucked in by another guy. I’ll just concentrate on sucking them off .”
Scott wanted to tell him not to give up on people. On men. There were plenty of wonderful men out there. But he knew his words would sound empty after everything this poor kid had been through.
Scott frowned. “So why didn’t you join an escort agency, if they’re paid better?”
“Oh, I did try. But they already had enough boys who looked like crack-whores. Apparently the market is flooded with the crack-whore-chic look. Believe me, Scott, I’ve tried every fucking agency in London – acting, modelling, film extras.
Similar Books
