sat on the bed. Her hand was trembling even more when she reached out and laid it on Ashleigh’s back.
“I know you don’t want to, but we really need to talk,” she said gently.
“Not now,” Ashleigh said, her words muffled by the pillow.
Erica ran her fingers through the tangled mass of hair, smoothing it out. “Yes, now. We can’t go on like this.”
Ashleigh turned her face toward the wall. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I don’t either,” Erica admitted with a smile. “So let’s start with me. I don’t see you as a failure, Ash. Sometimes…I feel I don’t know you, but I don’t resent you for what happened in the past.” Erica paused for a moment, hoping that Ashleigh would say something, anything. “I’ve been walking around on eggshells because I don’t know what I can and can’t say. When I’ve tried to talk to you, you just bottle up. It leaves me confused and unsure.”
“I’m sorry,” Ashleigh said, still keeping her face to the wall. “I don’t know how to make this better for you.”
“Well, you can stop trying to make it better. Telling me what is going on in your head will help.”
“I feel like a stranger in your house.” Ashleigh rolled onto her side.
Erica took that as a good sign. She wasn’t meeting her eyes, but at least she was facing her. Erica stretched out on the bed and laced her fingers with Ashleigh’s. “This is our home, not my house. We’ve both been feeling like strangers. It doesn’t have to be that way, though,” Erica said with a gentle squeeze of Ashleigh’s hand.
“Do you forgive me for not telling you?” Ashleigh asked, finally looking into her eyes.
“I do,” Erica said, but knowing in her heart that forgetting would take a while.
Ashleigh took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I want things to go back to the way they were, but I know that will never happen. All of this has changed me, and I feel confused…violated in a way.”
“You feel violated that I know your secret?”
Ashleigh nodded. “It’s not just you. Drew and Kaitlyn know too, and I know you’re all talking about it. I imagine that you’re all trying to figure me out.”
“That’s because you’re not talking to us. I guess that’s why Drew did what she did.”
Ashleigh scowled. “Drew,” she said angrily. “I can’t believe she sought them out. Now they know just how screwed up I am too.”
“People will think what they want. If you care, then correct them. Explain how you feel and why you do the things you do.”
“You think I should talk to them too?” Ashleigh looked surprised.
“If it helps you.” Erica wasn’t sure how she felt about Ashleigh facing her ex, but she wasn’t going to bring that up. For the moment, she would shelve that thought and all of the gut-twisting emotion it conjured.
“I can’t fathom that right now,” Ashleigh said to Erica’s relief. “How do we go on from here?”
Erica smiled as hope flooded her. “We deal with one day at a time. You talk to me and I’ll talk to you. Let’s agree to stop walking around here both in our own world.”
“I’ll try.” Ashleigh gave her a weak smile, but something in her eyes made Erica seriously doubt her sincerity.
“She hasn’t come home for lunch,” Drew said when Kaitlyn answered the phone.
“Leave her alone, Drew. Did nothing I said last night sink in?”
“I wasn’t going to bring up Vicki or the band,” Drew shot back. “She comes home every day, and we have lunch. She didn’t come home. She’s pissed.”
“Then leave her alone and let her cool off. Things seem to be working out between her and Erica. Don’t get in the middle of it.”
“They had a good talk then last night?” Drew stood on her toes and peered out the kitchen window, hoping to see Ashleigh rounding the corner.
“I’m not telling you what Erica said.”
“Kaitlyn, don’t keep punishing me.”
“I’m not punishing you. Leave Ash alone for a while, let her come
“I know you don’t want to, but we really need to talk,” she said gently.
“Not now,” Ashleigh said, her words muffled by the pillow.
Erica ran her fingers through the tangled mass of hair, smoothing it out. “Yes, now. We can’t go on like this.”
Ashleigh turned her face toward the wall. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I don’t either,” Erica admitted with a smile. “So let’s start with me. I don’t see you as a failure, Ash. Sometimes…I feel I don’t know you, but I don’t resent you for what happened in the past.” Erica paused for a moment, hoping that Ashleigh would say something, anything. “I’ve been walking around on eggshells because I don’t know what I can and can’t say. When I’ve tried to talk to you, you just bottle up. It leaves me confused and unsure.”
“I’m sorry,” Ashleigh said, still keeping her face to the wall. “I don’t know how to make this better for you.”
“Well, you can stop trying to make it better. Telling me what is going on in your head will help.”
“I feel like a stranger in your house.” Ashleigh rolled onto her side.
Erica took that as a good sign. She wasn’t meeting her eyes, but at least she was facing her. Erica stretched out on the bed and laced her fingers with Ashleigh’s. “This is our home, not my house. We’ve both been feeling like strangers. It doesn’t have to be that way, though,” Erica said with a gentle squeeze of Ashleigh’s hand.
“Do you forgive me for not telling you?” Ashleigh asked, finally looking into her eyes.
“I do,” Erica said, but knowing in her heart that forgetting would take a while.
Ashleigh took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I want things to go back to the way they were, but I know that will never happen. All of this has changed me, and I feel confused…violated in a way.”
“You feel violated that I know your secret?”
Ashleigh nodded. “It’s not just you. Drew and Kaitlyn know too, and I know you’re all talking about it. I imagine that you’re all trying to figure me out.”
“That’s because you’re not talking to us. I guess that’s why Drew did what she did.”
Ashleigh scowled. “Drew,” she said angrily. “I can’t believe she sought them out. Now they know just how screwed up I am too.”
“People will think what they want. If you care, then correct them. Explain how you feel and why you do the things you do.”
“You think I should talk to them too?” Ashleigh looked surprised.
“If it helps you.” Erica wasn’t sure how she felt about Ashleigh facing her ex, but she wasn’t going to bring that up. For the moment, she would shelve that thought and all of the gut-twisting emotion it conjured.
“I can’t fathom that right now,” Ashleigh said to Erica’s relief. “How do we go on from here?”
Erica smiled as hope flooded her. “We deal with one day at a time. You talk to me and I’ll talk to you. Let’s agree to stop walking around here both in our own world.”
“I’ll try.” Ashleigh gave her a weak smile, but something in her eyes made Erica seriously doubt her sincerity.
“She hasn’t come home for lunch,” Drew said when Kaitlyn answered the phone.
“Leave her alone, Drew. Did nothing I said last night sink in?”
“I wasn’t going to bring up Vicki or the band,” Drew shot back. “She comes home every day, and we have lunch. She didn’t come home. She’s pissed.”
“Then leave her alone and let her cool off. Things seem to be working out between her and Erica. Don’t get in the middle of it.”
“They had a good talk then last night?” Drew stood on her toes and peered out the kitchen window, hoping to see Ashleigh rounding the corner.
“I’m not telling you what Erica said.”
“Kaitlyn, don’t keep punishing me.”
“I’m not punishing you. Leave Ash alone for a while, let her come
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