it’s bad, isn’t it?” Kendra’s sobs taper off, and she swipes at her eyes, smearing her mascara.
Ethan’s crying silently, silver tears slipping down his cheeks. Mari gestures and he moves close enough for her to hug. She reaches to snag Kendra’s wrist, even though the girl’s not much for hugs anymore, and pulls her close, too. The three of them hug tight. Mari’s arms are still long enough to go around them both. She holds them as hard as she can.
Her children have never really known anything terrible, and she will do whatever’s necessary to make sure they never do. “It’s going to be fine. I promise.”
They both sniffle against her. They both pull away before she’s ready to let them go. Ethan rubs his nose with a sleeve while Kendra has the sense to use a tissue. Mari looks again at the ceiling. Somewhere above is her husband, the father of her children.
“I’ll be back,” she says. “You two take some change from the jar near the phone and walk down to the Wawa for some slushies.”
She doesn’t need to tell them twice. It’s a privilege their dad would squawk about; even though he wants them to “get out of the house and do something,” walking a few blocks to the convenience store isn’t one of them. The world’s a dangerous place, Ryan says. Mari knows he has no real idea of what that means.
He’s locked himself in his office, where she hears the shuffle and thump of him pulling open drawers. When she peeks inside she sees he’s pulled out half a dozen file boxes from his closet. The papers are spread out all around him and he’s bent over them, studying them so fiercely, he doesn’t even notice she’s opened the door until she raps lightly with her knuckles.
“Ryan?”
“Yeah, babe.” He pushes his hair back from his forehead.
The sight of him looking so rumpled when Ryan is always so put together lifts another current of unease inside her. “What are you doing?”
He gives her a smile so broad, so bright, so full of even, white teeth, there is no way she ought to be afraid. “I’m doing it. I’m going to do it.”
“Do what?”
“I’m finally going to write a book.”
Mari isn’t sure she ever knew Ryan wanted to write a book. Frankly, she can’t recall ever seeing him
read
a book. Magazines, yes. Medical journals and
Sports Illustrated
and
Consumer Reports
when he’s on the hunt for some new toy. But books? Never.
“What kind of book?”
His gaze shifts just a little, cutting from hers to look over the piles of folders and papers. “A case study.”
“So, not fiction.” That made more sense to her.
“No.” Again, that shifting gaze, the cut of it from hers. “But that’s not the best part, babe. This is even better.”
He holds up a folder. The front of it says Dimitri Management Rental Properties. She doesn’t know what that means, but something about it doesn’t sit well. “What?”
“C’mere.” Ryan gestures, and Mari goes.
He settles her onto his lap and nuzzles against her, hiding his face for a moment before lifting it. His eyes are shiny bright, his smile, too. He looks so much like his father that her breath catches. Ryan doesn’t notice.
“You know I love you, right?”
“I hope so,” Mari says. “You married me.”
He laughs a little too loud for the space and for being so close to her. “And you know I’ll always do my best to take care of you, right?”
Something twists deep inside her. “I know that.”
His hand tightens on her while the other puts the folder on the desk. “And you trust me, don’t you?”
“Of course I do.”
“We’re going to move.”
Alarmed, Mari shifts on Ryan’s lap to look into his eyes. “What? Where? Why?”
“Just for the summer,” he says quickly. “Someplace that’ll be great for the kids. For us, too. A place that’ll be perfect for me to write and for you all to just get away from the city.”
She doesn’t point out that they don’t exactly live
in
the city.
Ethan’s crying silently, silver tears slipping down his cheeks. Mari gestures and he moves close enough for her to hug. She reaches to snag Kendra’s wrist, even though the girl’s not much for hugs anymore, and pulls her close, too. The three of them hug tight. Mari’s arms are still long enough to go around them both. She holds them as hard as she can.
Her children have never really known anything terrible, and she will do whatever’s necessary to make sure they never do. “It’s going to be fine. I promise.”
They both sniffle against her. They both pull away before she’s ready to let them go. Ethan rubs his nose with a sleeve while Kendra has the sense to use a tissue. Mari looks again at the ceiling. Somewhere above is her husband, the father of her children.
“I’ll be back,” she says. “You two take some change from the jar near the phone and walk down to the Wawa for some slushies.”
She doesn’t need to tell them twice. It’s a privilege their dad would squawk about; even though he wants them to “get out of the house and do something,” walking a few blocks to the convenience store isn’t one of them. The world’s a dangerous place, Ryan says. Mari knows he has no real idea of what that means.
He’s locked himself in his office, where she hears the shuffle and thump of him pulling open drawers. When she peeks inside she sees he’s pulled out half a dozen file boxes from his closet. The papers are spread out all around him and he’s bent over them, studying them so fiercely, he doesn’t even notice she’s opened the door until she raps lightly with her knuckles.
“Ryan?”
“Yeah, babe.” He pushes his hair back from his forehead.
The sight of him looking so rumpled when Ryan is always so put together lifts another current of unease inside her. “What are you doing?”
He gives her a smile so broad, so bright, so full of even, white teeth, there is no way she ought to be afraid. “I’m doing it. I’m going to do it.”
“Do what?”
“I’m finally going to write a book.”
Mari isn’t sure she ever knew Ryan wanted to write a book. Frankly, she can’t recall ever seeing him
read
a book. Magazines, yes. Medical journals and
Sports Illustrated
and
Consumer Reports
when he’s on the hunt for some new toy. But books? Never.
“What kind of book?”
His gaze shifts just a little, cutting from hers to look over the piles of folders and papers. “A case study.”
“So, not fiction.” That made more sense to her.
“No.” Again, that shifting gaze, the cut of it from hers. “But that’s not the best part, babe. This is even better.”
He holds up a folder. The front of it says Dimitri Management Rental Properties. She doesn’t know what that means, but something about it doesn’t sit well. “What?”
“C’mere.” Ryan gestures, and Mari goes.
He settles her onto his lap and nuzzles against her, hiding his face for a moment before lifting it. His eyes are shiny bright, his smile, too. He looks so much like his father that her breath catches. Ryan doesn’t notice.
“You know I love you, right?”
“I hope so,” Mari says. “You married me.”
He laughs a little too loud for the space and for being so close to her. “And you know I’ll always do my best to take care of you, right?”
Something twists deep inside her. “I know that.”
His hand tightens on her while the other puts the folder on the desk. “And you trust me, don’t you?”
“Of course I do.”
“We’re going to move.”
Alarmed, Mari shifts on Ryan’s lap to look into his eyes. “What? Where? Why?”
“Just for the summer,” he says quickly. “Someplace that’ll be great for the kids. For us, too. A place that’ll be perfect for me to write and for you all to just get away from the city.”
She doesn’t point out that they don’t exactly live
in
the city.
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