Read Online Love Thy Neighbor by Janna Dellwood - Free Book Online
Authors: Janna Dellwood
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even better when he slipped his tongue between
her lips and into her mouth. She did the same with her tongue. Just
when he went to pull away, she grabbed his shoulders and held on. His
penis, he was sure, would pop the button off his pants the way a
thumb popped the cork from a bottle. That's when he went further.
Baron leaned on her, his weight pushing her down on her back. His
hand grabbed and squeezed her left thigh. Her moans became louder,
and she, for a moment, directed his hand further upward, just under
her dress toward her panties. With his other hand, he squeezed her
right breast. Nipple felt like a pinpoint. They both wanted this...
wanted this more than words could express.
They continued to make out, grabbing different parts of the other's
anatomy. Janna pulled away from the long, incessant kiss, lost in
this escapade of passion. She felt past the normal boundary of
'close' to him. She loved him right now. And that scared her—beyond
the boundary of normal fear. What if he didn't feel the same? What if
he was just taking advantage of her? What if this, to him, was just a
one-night stand? What if she would get hurt again? What if he broke
her heart worse than Ben had?
All the stored-up sexual energy flowed out of her instantly. For as
much as she wanted to take him, she now wanted to get away before
anything really happened... and his hand was dangerously close to her
love spot.
“ Wait.
Quit. Stop. I can't... do this. It's not. Right. I gotta go!”
She squirmed out from under him, stood up. He fell over on his side
on the couch, befuddled. “What? Janna, I thought that's what
you wanted! You were... we were... I don't understand!”
She burst into tears. The way she looked as she cried melted a piece
of Baron's heart. Broke another part of it.
“ I
gotta go!” She backed away, staring at him as if she needed his
permission to leave. “I know what you'll do to me. You'll leave
me. You'll abandon me. I can't have that!”
She turned and ran off, the sound of her sobs painful to Baron's
ears. He heard the door open and close. Then her sobs ceased, but not
in his memory. They would end up hurting him all night.
Chapter 7
But Janna hurt worse that night. The agony hit her repeatedly, like
steady, oncoming waves. She lay crying in bed for hours on end, the
thought of committing suicide bouncing around inside her head, the
dark thought stronger than before, building and growing and twisting
and devouring. And so close! Wasn't that it? The woman had
been so close to establishing something she had wanted so badly for
so damned long: passion, closeness, belonging. He had had her in his clutch, and now it was she who'd leaned away to avoid the
kiss. Why couldn't I go through with it? Am I that stubborn? That
much of a wimp? That stuck on times past? Stuck on what happened over
a damned decade ago!
She knew Baron was a completely different person than Ben and anybody
else from her younger days. Yes, he might hurt her some day. Then
again, maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he was ' the one'.
None of that mattered to her anymore—so she ' told' herself, or rather, what she tried to make herself believe. She
decided she would hurt tonight and wake up healed tomorrow. By
morning, men, relationships, romance, sex, marriage, kids, and
happily ever after would not be her priorities anymore. She would be
alone, stay alone. She'd already done it for eleven years. What was
another forty? There were many people on earth who never married or
developed romantic relationships.
She fell asleep before dawn, but did not remember when, and was sure
she was still crying as she made the transition from consciousness to
unconsciousness.
***
Morning came soon enough—sunny and hot to anyone else, but drab
and cold to Janna. She didn't want to deal with life today. The pain
was still there, looming, lingering, piercing. Impossible to ignore.
But she tried to, so the same.
After rolling out of bed and glancing at her watch:
her lips and into her mouth. She did the same with her tongue. Just
when he went to pull away, she grabbed his shoulders and held on. His
penis, he was sure, would pop the button off his pants the way a
thumb popped the cork from a bottle. That's when he went further.
Baron leaned on her, his weight pushing her down on her back. His
hand grabbed and squeezed her left thigh. Her moans became louder,
and she, for a moment, directed his hand further upward, just under
her dress toward her panties. With his other hand, he squeezed her
right breast. Nipple felt like a pinpoint. They both wanted this...
wanted this more than words could express.
They continued to make out, grabbing different parts of the other's
anatomy. Janna pulled away from the long, incessant kiss, lost in
this escapade of passion. She felt past the normal boundary of
'close' to him. She loved him right now. And that scared her—beyond
the boundary of normal fear. What if he didn't feel the same? What if
he was just taking advantage of her? What if this, to him, was just a
one-night stand? What if she would get hurt again? What if he broke
her heart worse than Ben had?
All the stored-up sexual energy flowed out of her instantly. For as
much as she wanted to take him, she now wanted to get away before
anything really happened... and his hand was dangerously close to her
love spot.
“ Wait.
Quit. Stop. I can't... do this. It's not. Right. I gotta go!”
She squirmed out from under him, stood up. He fell over on his side
on the couch, befuddled. “What? Janna, I thought that's what
you wanted! You were... we were... I don't understand!”
She burst into tears. The way she looked as she cried melted a piece
of Baron's heart. Broke another part of it.
“ I
gotta go!” She backed away, staring at him as if she needed his
permission to leave. “I know what you'll do to me. You'll leave
me. You'll abandon me. I can't have that!”
She turned and ran off, the sound of her sobs painful to Baron's
ears. He heard the door open and close. Then her sobs ceased, but not
in his memory. They would end up hurting him all night.
Chapter 7
But Janna hurt worse that night. The agony hit her repeatedly, like
steady, oncoming waves. She lay crying in bed for hours on end, the
thought of committing suicide bouncing around inside her head, the
dark thought stronger than before, building and growing and twisting
and devouring. And so close! Wasn't that it? The woman had
been so close to establishing something she had wanted so badly for
so damned long: passion, closeness, belonging. He had had her in his clutch, and now it was she who'd leaned away to avoid the
kiss. Why couldn't I go through with it? Am I that stubborn? That
much of a wimp? That stuck on times past? Stuck on what happened over
a damned decade ago!
She knew Baron was a completely different person than Ben and anybody
else from her younger days. Yes, he might hurt her some day. Then
again, maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he was ' the one'.
None of that mattered to her anymore—so she ' told' herself, or rather, what she tried to make herself believe. She
decided she would hurt tonight and wake up healed tomorrow. By
morning, men, relationships, romance, sex, marriage, kids, and
happily ever after would not be her priorities anymore. She would be
alone, stay alone. She'd already done it for eleven years. What was
another forty? There were many people on earth who never married or
developed romantic relationships.
She fell asleep before dawn, but did not remember when, and was sure
she was still crying as she made the transition from consciousness to
unconsciousness.
***
Morning came soon enough—sunny and hot to anyone else, but drab
and cold to Janna. She didn't want to deal with life today. The pain
was still there, looming, lingering, piercing. Impossible to ignore.
But she tried to, so the same.
After rolling out of bed and glancing at her watch:
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