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Authors: Natasha D. Frazier
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things like “No way!” “You’re lying!”
“Now, I know that’s his momma but I am definitely not comfortable with that. Based off conversations that we’ve had, I get the impression that he feels obligated to do this for her and he seems to be bothered by it. He complains about helping her out but then says she doesn’t really need his help. To add to that, she is supposed to be a pastor. I always thought that churches make sure their pastors are taken care of, especially when it comes to living expenses. It just sounds fishy to me.” Raegan took a bite of food to let her words sink in.
“Right,” Michelle slowly chimed in. “You know my father is a pastor and the church gives him a salary and a housing allowance, so he could be misleading you in some way. I know that all churches do not have the ability to support their pastor so it just depends on the size and financial obligations of the church. I’m still a little skeptical though. Something about their situation doesn’t sound right.”
“Exactly!” Raegan said putting emphasis on the ex . “I mean, really. Who does that? There is no issue with sending a relative money because they need it, but there is an issue with sending anyone $1,500 per month regularly and you’re acting as if you’re hardly making ends meet yourself. So that concerns me a lot and I’m planning to have a conversation with him about it. Do you all think it’s too soon to talk with him about things like that?”
Tammy couldn’t wait to chime in. “No way. Do it as soon as possible. If he is serious about wanting to marry you, then there shouldn’t be an issue with him being open and honest with you about his finances. In fact, you both need to pull your credit reports and review them together. The last thing you want to do is get into a marriage with someone and later get hit with a boomerang of financial issues because you didn’t do your due diligence.” Tammy’s advice came from the standpoint of someone with an estranged husband. Her failed marriage often weighed heavily on her, and if she could help her friends not make the same mistake, she was all for it.
“You’re certainly right about that Tam. I’m definitely going to bring it up,” Raegan said, letting out a sigh of relief that at least her friends understood her issues; she just hoped that Rico would understand her feelings as well.
“I know you’re about ready to move on to your next point but seriously, who does that?” Kensi asked with a confused look on her face. She had been sitting there listening intently and watching Raegan’s body language. She could tell that this issue was really bothering Raegan. “I’m sitting here trying to sort through this while you’re speaking and it just doesn’t make sense. It sounds as if he is making an excuse for his poor financial situation. Maybe he’s made some bad choices and potentially trying to clear them up? Or maybe he’s still making bad financial choices.”
“Gambling? Drugs? Another woman?” Kensi continued as she thought about the possibilities. She and Raegan shared similar thoughts on most issues, so she was only asking the questions that Raegan dared not ask herself. She secretly hoped that it was none of those issues because he seemed like such a great guy. She thought he could be the one.
“Thanks ladies for helping me think through this and giving me other things to think about,” she said as she raised her eyebrows at Kensi. “We’ve been dating a couple of months now and things are moving pretty quickly. Now again, he is talking a lot about marriage, and I’m concerned that he has never invited me over to his apartment. Besides, he has been to my place on numerous occasions,” Raegan explained, and has even stayed overnight, she added to herself.
“Really? We’re all thirty-somethings and have been in quite a few relationships. There is obviously something wrong with this picture!” Kensi said emphatically. “Rae,
“Now, I know that’s his momma but I am definitely not comfortable with that. Based off conversations that we’ve had, I get the impression that he feels obligated to do this for her and he seems to be bothered by it. He complains about helping her out but then says she doesn’t really need his help. To add to that, she is supposed to be a pastor. I always thought that churches make sure their pastors are taken care of, especially when it comes to living expenses. It just sounds fishy to me.” Raegan took a bite of food to let her words sink in.
“Right,” Michelle slowly chimed in. “You know my father is a pastor and the church gives him a salary and a housing allowance, so he could be misleading you in some way. I know that all churches do not have the ability to support their pastor so it just depends on the size and financial obligations of the church. I’m still a little skeptical though. Something about their situation doesn’t sound right.”
“Exactly!” Raegan said putting emphasis on the ex . “I mean, really. Who does that? There is no issue with sending a relative money because they need it, but there is an issue with sending anyone $1,500 per month regularly and you’re acting as if you’re hardly making ends meet yourself. So that concerns me a lot and I’m planning to have a conversation with him about it. Do you all think it’s too soon to talk with him about things like that?”
Tammy couldn’t wait to chime in. “No way. Do it as soon as possible. If he is serious about wanting to marry you, then there shouldn’t be an issue with him being open and honest with you about his finances. In fact, you both need to pull your credit reports and review them together. The last thing you want to do is get into a marriage with someone and later get hit with a boomerang of financial issues because you didn’t do your due diligence.” Tammy’s advice came from the standpoint of someone with an estranged husband. Her failed marriage often weighed heavily on her, and if she could help her friends not make the same mistake, she was all for it.
“You’re certainly right about that Tam. I’m definitely going to bring it up,” Raegan said, letting out a sigh of relief that at least her friends understood her issues; she just hoped that Rico would understand her feelings as well.
“I know you’re about ready to move on to your next point but seriously, who does that?” Kensi asked with a confused look on her face. She had been sitting there listening intently and watching Raegan’s body language. She could tell that this issue was really bothering Raegan. “I’m sitting here trying to sort through this while you’re speaking and it just doesn’t make sense. It sounds as if he is making an excuse for his poor financial situation. Maybe he’s made some bad choices and potentially trying to clear them up? Or maybe he’s still making bad financial choices.”
“Gambling? Drugs? Another woman?” Kensi continued as she thought about the possibilities. She and Raegan shared similar thoughts on most issues, so she was only asking the questions that Raegan dared not ask herself. She secretly hoped that it was none of those issues because he seemed like such a great guy. She thought he could be the one.
“Thanks ladies for helping me think through this and giving me other things to think about,” she said as she raised her eyebrows at Kensi. “We’ve been dating a couple of months now and things are moving pretty quickly. Now again, he is talking a lot about marriage, and I’m concerned that he has never invited me over to his apartment. Besides, he has been to my place on numerous occasions,” Raegan explained, and has even stayed overnight, she added to herself.
“Really? We’re all thirty-somethings and have been in quite a few relationships. There is obviously something wrong with this picture!” Kensi said emphatically. “Rae,