Read Online Love at Last (Last Frontier Lodge #2) by J.H. Croix - Free Book Online
Authors: J.H. Croix
Ads: Link
you have all kinds of reasons to be pissed off at me. I’m calling because my mom found out about your son and asked me to call you. She’d like a chance to meet him.”
Delia noticed Terry didn’t say “our son,” but rather “your son.” She was alternately relieved and angry at the distinction. Her heart pounded, and her mind spun. All these years, she’d tried to come to terms with the fact that Nick’s father had zero interest in him. She’d had to accept her own poor judgment and not beat herself up too much—incredibly difficult sometimes—and consider what she’d do if he ever reached out. She took a breath and tried to gather her composure.
Not yet. “Oh, so you think you can just call and ask if your mom can meet my son? You don’t even have the nerve to say he’s yours. I guess I should be thankful for that because you’re nothing more than an accidental sperm donor.” Her tone was bitter, and she didn’t care. She had to cultivate her composure for Nick’s sake, but not for Terry’s.
Terry was silent for several beats. “Like I said, I get why you’d be pissed off. I’m only calling because of my mother.”
Delia let his words sink in, her disappointment echoing against the absence of his interest in getting to know his son. She’d rehearsed imaginary answers to him a thousand times, but she hadn’t rehearsed the answer to this. Nick’s father wasn’t interested in him, but his grandmother was. Shit, shit, shit. Think, think, think. Another deep breath, and she finally managed to speak. “The only reason I’m not hanging up the phone is because of my son. If your mom wants to meet Nick, she can call me directly. Feel free to give her my number. I’d rather you not call at all unless you’re interested in a relationship with your son. If that ever happens, the terms will be mine. Are we clear?”
The last part she’d memorized, so the words slid off her tongue easily, even though fury was pounding through her. Her stomach felt hollow and her heart clenched with hurt for Nick. She waited.
Terry finally spoke. “I understand. I appreciate you’re willing to talk to my mom. I don’t think I ever mentioned her to you. Her name is Helen Carson.”
“Nope. You never mentioned her to me,” she replied, exasperated with him after only minutes of conversation.
“Right. I’ll tell her she can call.” After another awkward silence, Terry spoke again. “I get why you think I’m a total ass. I’m trying not to make things worse by trying to be something I don’t know if I can be.”
“What would that be?” Delia asked unable to keep her voice from vibrating with the force of her anger.
“A father. My life’s been kind of a mess. I’m not the most stable guy. It may seem like I’ve been blowing you off all these years, but for the last few, I thought it was best if I stayed out of the way.”
Questions tumbled through her mind, but she held her silence. It was up to him to do more than he had and she wasn’t about to open a can of worms for Nick for someone who wasn’t sure they were ready to be there for him.
“Okay. How about you have your mother call me? If something changes, maybe she can let me know.”
“Right. Thanks, Delia.”
“Sure.” She ended the call without a goodbye. Her chest was tight and her throat ached and all of her pain was for Nick, her sweet little boy who raced at life with open arms, who asked questions about the father he’d never known and who accepted answers that were hard for anyone, much less a six year old boy. She leaned her forehead against the steering wheel and forced herself to breathe slowly and deeply.
After several moments, she sat up and glanced around her. She’d stopped to pick up mail at the post office. She opened the car door, letting the icy winter air wash over her. It settled her heightened nerves. Slamming the door behind her, she made her way inside, the thin layer of snow crunching under her boots. She
Delia noticed Terry didn’t say “our son,” but rather “your son.” She was alternately relieved and angry at the distinction. Her heart pounded, and her mind spun. All these years, she’d tried to come to terms with the fact that Nick’s father had zero interest in him. She’d had to accept her own poor judgment and not beat herself up too much—incredibly difficult sometimes—and consider what she’d do if he ever reached out. She took a breath and tried to gather her composure.
Not yet. “Oh, so you think you can just call and ask if your mom can meet my son? You don’t even have the nerve to say he’s yours. I guess I should be thankful for that because you’re nothing more than an accidental sperm donor.” Her tone was bitter, and she didn’t care. She had to cultivate her composure for Nick’s sake, but not for Terry’s.
Terry was silent for several beats. “Like I said, I get why you’d be pissed off. I’m only calling because of my mother.”
Delia let his words sink in, her disappointment echoing against the absence of his interest in getting to know his son. She’d rehearsed imaginary answers to him a thousand times, but she hadn’t rehearsed the answer to this. Nick’s father wasn’t interested in him, but his grandmother was. Shit, shit, shit. Think, think, think. Another deep breath, and she finally managed to speak. “The only reason I’m not hanging up the phone is because of my son. If your mom wants to meet Nick, she can call me directly. Feel free to give her my number. I’d rather you not call at all unless you’re interested in a relationship with your son. If that ever happens, the terms will be mine. Are we clear?”
The last part she’d memorized, so the words slid off her tongue easily, even though fury was pounding through her. Her stomach felt hollow and her heart clenched with hurt for Nick. She waited.
Terry finally spoke. “I understand. I appreciate you’re willing to talk to my mom. I don’t think I ever mentioned her to you. Her name is Helen Carson.”
“Nope. You never mentioned her to me,” she replied, exasperated with him after only minutes of conversation.
“Right. I’ll tell her she can call.” After another awkward silence, Terry spoke again. “I get why you think I’m a total ass. I’m trying not to make things worse by trying to be something I don’t know if I can be.”
“What would that be?” Delia asked unable to keep her voice from vibrating with the force of her anger.
“A father. My life’s been kind of a mess. I’m not the most stable guy. It may seem like I’ve been blowing you off all these years, but for the last few, I thought it was best if I stayed out of the way.”
Questions tumbled through her mind, but she held her silence. It was up to him to do more than he had and she wasn’t about to open a can of worms for Nick for someone who wasn’t sure they were ready to be there for him.
“Okay. How about you have your mother call me? If something changes, maybe she can let me know.”
“Right. Thanks, Delia.”
“Sure.” She ended the call without a goodbye. Her chest was tight and her throat ached and all of her pain was for Nick, her sweet little boy who raced at life with open arms, who asked questions about the father he’d never known and who accepted answers that were hard for anyone, much less a six year old boy. She leaned her forehead against the steering wheel and forced herself to breathe slowly and deeply.
After several moments, she sat up and glanced around her. She’d stopped to pick up mail at the post office. She opened the car door, letting the icy winter air wash over her. It settled her heightened nerves. Slamming the door behind her, she made her way inside, the thin layer of snow crunching under her boots. She
Similar Books
