kitchen peninsula. Now, a milk mustache replaces the strawberry ice cream one Lia sported earlier, and I feel a grin tugging at the corner of my mouth.
I can’t let this little girl draw me in. She may be my own flesh and blood, but disconnecting myself from her is the best way I know of to protect her.
“It’s getting late, Damian,” Ellie says after she wipes Lia’s face with a paper towel. “We should go.”
“Yeah, sure. Thanks for coming over, Elle.” As much as I shouldn’t be in their lives, I mean it. Even if it’s only this once, I’m glad to have seen my daughter.
“At Grandma’s and Grandpa’s house, I get to sleep in bed with Mommy,” Lia quips, proud. She slides off the chair that’s too big for her, and she pushes her hair from her face. The action isn’t gentle and now her hair’s even more of a mess.
Why does she have to be so fucking cute?
“You like that, huh?” I ask.
When she smiles at me, I notice the tiny gap between her two front teeth. “Yep.”
“Why don’t you go get your jacket, sweetie?” Ellie says, directing her toward the living room.
“Okay,” she answers.
This may be the first and last time I ever see her. Lia bounces away, and I can’t help the lump rising in my throat.
It’s for the best , I remind myself.
The lump only grows at the thought.
Ellie stands beside me, almost touching me. “Again, Damian, I’m sorry for not telling you about her.”
From the kitchen, I watch as Lia pulls her pink jacket off the sofa cushion. She studies it, flips it around, and starts to put her arm through while the coat is upside down. She spins in a circle trying to insert her other arm. When she can’t make it work, she looks at me—not Ellie—and frowns. Her eyebrows lower as she pleads with me from across the room.
“You need to go, Elle,” I murmur, because I’m close to doing something stupid. I have to do for Lia what I couldn’t do for Kate and walk away. Still, I can’t take my eyes off her.
“I can send pictures or something, if you want,” Ellie offers.
I shake my head. “Just go.”
Ellie obeys, walking toward our daughter. She squats down to help Lia with her coat, zipping it up.
“Thanks, Mommy,” I hear Lia say, her tiny voice carrying across the room to me.
Ellie takes her hand and leads her to the door. Yeah, I’m letting them leave. I can’t be anyone’s father. That little girl deserves so much better than me.
Besides, I gave my heart to Kate four years ago, and she took it with her to the grave. I have nothing left to offer anyone.
As Ellie opens the front door, Lia spins around, eyes piercing into me. Then she smiles and waves her tiny hand at me. “See you tomorrow, Daddy.”
Chapter 8
Damian
Goddammit!
Shit!
FUCK!
I can barely see through the blur of fury as I speed down the interstate. I fucking can’t do this. Dammit, Ellie!
Because I have to maintain some control over the situation, I think about how this is Ellie’s fault. All she had to do was take the damn birth control pill. Why did she even have to be in Liam’s room that night? She knew I’d be broken. She fucking knew what I’d want from her!
I can’t breathe.
Lia’s innocent little voice repeats in my head, louder and louder. “See you tomorrow, Daddy.”
God-fucking-damn-it!
The tires skid over the pavement as I spin into the cemetery, my personal sanctuary. The only place I truly belong.
I cut off the engine and leave the keys in the ignition. It’s dark outside, but I don’t need light to know where I’m going. I bypass the three headstones that usually give me the solace I crave. Right now, I need to punch something. Pound on it until this fucking ache ripping through me leaves me the hell alone.
The elder tree protecting my loved ones serves as my relief. I’ve used it before, so it knows what to expect. My fists do too, which is why I come here instead beating the snot out of a bag at the
Joe Bruno
G. Corin
Ellen Marie Wiseman
R.L. Stine
Matt Windman
Tim Stead
Ann Cory
Tim Lahaye, Jerry B. Jenkins
Michael Clary
Amanda Stevens