more dreamlike, more subtle than that; the darkness suggested the story, gathered the story up in itself and revealed it, but in a way that Luce could read as clearly as a book.
Luce tried looking at one of the older mermaids that way: a slightly chubby girl of about fifteen with such pale curly hair that it could almost be mistaken for sea foam sliding over her shoulders, and with pale, exquisite, sea green eyes. As Luce watched she could see how the girl’s mother had thrown her from a speeding car, breaking half her bones as she smashed into the asphalt. Even now, there was something just slightly awkward about the way the girl held her rounded, elegant body. It had a barely perceptible twist around the shoulders, as if not all her bones had healed correctly. The girl watched Luce watching her, but she didn’t seem bothered by it. “Hello, Luce,” the girl said distantly in cool bell tones. “I’m Samantha. You’re an amazing singer, especially for somebody new . . .” Luce looked down, suddenly embarrassed. If she could see Samantha lying shattered by the side of the freeway, then Samantha could see her uncle’s crude hands sliding down around Luce’s hips.
“You don’t need to feel ashamed, Luce,” Samantha continued airily. “You didn’t do anything wrong. And besides, all of us . . .” It was true. One girl who seemed no older than seven had been starved almost to death by her foster parents; another had i 53
had a pot of boiling water poured over her head; another had lived with a father much worse than Luce’s uncle. Others had simply been abandoned or orphaned or even just unloved, and had turned cold from pure loneliness. And Catarina . . . Luce let the beautiful red- gold head shift into the corner of her vision.
There was a sudden whirl and a smack as something icy, wet, and shining lashed into Luce’s face. The blow wasn’t hard enough to really hurt, but Luce was still shocked. Catarina had actually slapped her, right on the cheek, with her golden tail. Luce cried out and covered her face with both hands.
“I can’t believe you hit me!” Luce screamed, even though she knew she might be overreacting. After all, her uncle always hit her much harder than that. But somehow it felt so much worse to be slapped here, and especially by Catarina. Luce had been so sure she could trust her.
Around them the other mermaids gasped and whispered.
“I’m sorry, Luce,” Catarina said roughly. “I didn’t hurt you much, though, did I?” Luce glared up at her without answering. “I should have explained. You can never look at me that way!” Now Catarina’s voice had a wild, piercing sound that made Luce stop scowling. “I don’t allow anyone to look at me that way! It’s just . . .
I can’t stand for anyone to see . . .”
Suddenly Luce felt horribly sorry for her. It was bewildering to feel pity for anyone so strong, so ferocious, and so lovely, but Luce did. If she’d been sure Catarina wouldn’t just get more upset by it, Luce would have hugged her.
“It’s okay, Catarina,” Luce whispered. “I’m really sorry I tried to look. I promise I won’t ever try again to see anything . . .
anything you’d rather keep private.”
54 i LOST VOICES
“You don’t need to be so nice about it, Luce,” Samantha announced in her too- serene voice. “ Catarina gets ridiculously sensitive about everything from when she was human. And about some stuff afterward, for that matter. You’ll see. But she doesn’t mind seeing the things that happened to us!” Luce expected Catarina to get angry at this, but instead she just turned her face away from them and rippled her long body, and then disappeared under the water without a splash. A dozen other mermaids flicked themselves and dove after her; they were so fast that it was almost impossible to see them leave.
Samantha shook her head disapprovingly. “ Catarina’s a tremendous singer,” Samantha explained. “Definitely our best. She
Luce tried looking at one of the older mermaids that way: a slightly chubby girl of about fifteen with such pale curly hair that it could almost be mistaken for sea foam sliding over her shoulders, and with pale, exquisite, sea green eyes. As Luce watched she could see how the girl’s mother had thrown her from a speeding car, breaking half her bones as she smashed into the asphalt. Even now, there was something just slightly awkward about the way the girl held her rounded, elegant body. It had a barely perceptible twist around the shoulders, as if not all her bones had healed correctly. The girl watched Luce watching her, but she didn’t seem bothered by it. “Hello, Luce,” the girl said distantly in cool bell tones. “I’m Samantha. You’re an amazing singer, especially for somebody new . . .” Luce looked down, suddenly embarrassed. If she could see Samantha lying shattered by the side of the freeway, then Samantha could see her uncle’s crude hands sliding down around Luce’s hips.
“You don’t need to feel ashamed, Luce,” Samantha continued airily. “You didn’t do anything wrong. And besides, all of us . . .” It was true. One girl who seemed no older than seven had been starved almost to death by her foster parents; another had i 53
had a pot of boiling water poured over her head; another had lived with a father much worse than Luce’s uncle. Others had simply been abandoned or orphaned or even just unloved, and had turned cold from pure loneliness. And Catarina . . . Luce let the beautiful red- gold head shift into the corner of her vision.
There was a sudden whirl and a smack as something icy, wet, and shining lashed into Luce’s face. The blow wasn’t hard enough to really hurt, but Luce was still shocked. Catarina had actually slapped her, right on the cheek, with her golden tail. Luce cried out and covered her face with both hands.
“I can’t believe you hit me!” Luce screamed, even though she knew she might be overreacting. After all, her uncle always hit her much harder than that. But somehow it felt so much worse to be slapped here, and especially by Catarina. Luce had been so sure she could trust her.
Around them the other mermaids gasped and whispered.
“I’m sorry, Luce,” Catarina said roughly. “I didn’t hurt you much, though, did I?” Luce glared up at her without answering. “I should have explained. You can never look at me that way!” Now Catarina’s voice had a wild, piercing sound that made Luce stop scowling. “I don’t allow anyone to look at me that way! It’s just . . .
I can’t stand for anyone to see . . .”
Suddenly Luce felt horribly sorry for her. It was bewildering to feel pity for anyone so strong, so ferocious, and so lovely, but Luce did. If she’d been sure Catarina wouldn’t just get more upset by it, Luce would have hugged her.
“It’s okay, Catarina,” Luce whispered. “I’m really sorry I tried to look. I promise I won’t ever try again to see anything . . .
anything you’d rather keep private.”
54 i LOST VOICES
“You don’t need to be so nice about it, Luce,” Samantha announced in her too- serene voice. “ Catarina gets ridiculously sensitive about everything from when she was human. And about some stuff afterward, for that matter. You’ll see. But she doesn’t mind seeing the things that happened to us!” Luce expected Catarina to get angry at this, but instead she just turned her face away from them and rippled her long body, and then disappeared under the water without a splash. A dozen other mermaids flicked themselves and dove after her; they were so fast that it was almost impossible to see them leave.
Samantha shook her head disapprovingly. “ Catarina’s a tremendous singer,” Samantha explained. “Definitely our best. She
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