Read Online Lost in the Funhouse by John Barth - Free Book Online Page B

little somethings in whose presence Ambrose snickered with the rest; and if you parted the vines at the base of any tree, you might find a strew of brown pellets and fieldmouse bones, disgorged by feasting owls. It was the most exciting place Ambrose knew, in a special way. Its queer smell could retch him if he breathed too deeply, but in measured inhalations it had a rich, peculiarly stirring savor. And had he dared ask, he would have very much liked to know whether the others, when they hid in the viny bowers from whoever was It, felt as he did the urging of that place upon his bladder!
    With Tarzan-cries they descended upon the Den, built of drift-timber and carpet from the dump and camouflaged with living vines. Peter and Herman Goltz raced to get there first, and Peter would have won, because anybody beat fat Herman, but his high-top came untied, and so they got there at the same time and dived to crawl through the entrance.
    “Hey!”
    They stopped in mid-scramble, backed off, stood up quickly.
    “Whoops!” Herman hollered. Peter blushed and batted at him to be silent. All stared at the entryway of the hut.
    A young man whom Ambrose did not recognize came out first. He had dark eyes and hair and a black moustache, and though he was clean-shaved, his jaw was blue with coming whiskers. He wore a white shirt and a tie and a yellow sweater under his leather jacket, and had dirtied his clean trousers on the Den floor. He stood up and scowled at the ring of boys as if he were going to be angry—but then grinned and brushed his pants-knees.
    “Sorry, mates. Didn’t know it was your hut.”
    The girl climbed out after. Her brown hair was mussed, her face drained of color, there were shards of dead leaf upon her coat. The fellow helped her up, and she walked straight offwithout looking at any of them, her right hand stuffed into her coat pocket. The fellow winked at Peter and hurried to follow.
    “Hey, gee!” Herman Goltz whispered.
    “Who was the guy?” Sandy Cooper wanted to know.
    Someone declared that it was Tommy James, just out of the U. S. Navy.
    Peter said that Peggy Robbins would get kicked out of nurse’s training if they found out, and Herman told how his big sister had been kicked out of nurse’s training with only four months to go.
    “A bunch went buckbathing one night down to Shoal Creek, and Sis was the only one was kicked out for it.”
    The Sphinxes all got to laughing and fooling around about Herman Goltz’s sister and about Peggy Robbins and her boyfriend. Some of the fellows wanted to take after them and razz them, but it was agreed that Tommy James was a tough customer. Somebody believed there had been a scar across his temple.
    Herman wailed “Oh lover!” and collapsed against Peter, who wrestled him down into the creepers.
    Cheeks burning, Ambrose joined in the merriment. “We ought to put a sign up!
Private Property: No Smooching.
”
    The fellows laughed. But not in just the right way.
    “Hey guys!” Sandy Cooper said. “Amby says they was smooching!”
    Ambrose quickly grinned and cried “Like a duck! Like a duck!”; whenever a person said a thing to fool you, he’d say “Like a duck!” afterward to let you know you’d been fooled.
    “Like a duck nothing,” Sandy Cooper rasped. “I bet I know what we’ll find inside.”
    “Hey, yeah!” said Peter.
    Sandy Cooper had an old flashlight that he carried on his belt, and so they let him go in first, and Peter and Herman and the others followed after. In just an instant Ambrose heard Sandy shout “Woo-hoo!” and there was excitement in the Den. Heheard Peter cry “Let me see!” and Herman Goltz commence to giggle like a girl. Peter said “Let
me
see, damn it!”
    “Go to Hell,” said the gritty voice of Sandy Cooper.
    “Go to Hell your own self.”
    Perse Goltz had scrambled in unnoticed with the rest, but now a Sphinx espied him.
    “Get out of here, Perse. I thought I smelt something.”
    “You smelt your own self,”