Read Online Losing Control by Desiree Wilder - Free Book Online Page A

her feet hurt—and started massaging them. Gia relaxed and started taking in the view. I loved watching her experience it. I could tell she was impressed.
    “How’s that?” I asked her.
    “The view or the foot massage?” I had forgotten about the massage because I was so into watching her in all her beauty see one of my favorite things for the first time.
    “Both,” I said, grinning from ear to ear.
    “Heavenly.” She lay back on the blanket and looked up at the sky. “Ahhh.” I wanted to lay down beside her.
    As I did, I took her hand and she turned and snuggled into me. Nothing could’ve felt better… her body against mine, laying on a blanket on a hill with a view that had brought tears to my eyes. I pulled her hand up to my face. I was going to kiss it, but instead I took her middle finger and put it in my mouth. I closed my lips around it, sucked, and pulled it out. I did it again. I don’t know why I did it at that moment, but Gia seemed to like it. I didn’t want to seduce her up here tonight, that wasn’t my intention. I turned to face her, our eyes locked. I traced her face with my finger… I think she wanted more.
    “Gia, I’ve waited for you for so long…” She had no idea. “I don’t want to go too fast. I don’t want to scare you or hurt you… please, tell me what you want.” I was surprised at her reaction, she looked wounded. She looked away from me. No!
    “Gia? What are you thinking? Tell me, please,” I begged her. What had I said?
    “What happened to the Ethan who had me up on the counter an hour ago and was wanting to take me, right there, right then? Don’t you want me like that now?” I was confused for a second. Wait, what was she asking? Of course I wanted her, is that what she was worried about? Is that all she wants from me? No! She isn’t like that, I know she isn’t. When she looked at me, I could feel it. I knew what it felt like to be wanted by a woman for my looks or my body or because they thought I had a big bank account. They slept with me a few times, found out I was just a regular guy and I owed the bank a pile on this place, and I never saw them again. But no one had ever looked at me the way Gia had, and she thought I was a barback, for crying out loud. She was kind and loving, funny and giving. I knew this, I felt this. I had to fix this!
    “Of course I want you, Gia. I’m sorry. Things got pretty heated back there. Kissing you for the first time made me horny as hell, but I don’t want you to think that’s all I want from you. I want more from you—I want to get to know you. You’re so much more than a pretty face and a piece of ass.” She had to see that!
    She sat up. “I want to go back to the motor home.” My heart sank. “Would you take me, please?” She was putting her boots on and crying. What had I done? How could I have hurt her like this when she was the only woman I’d ever tried so hard not to?
    “No, Gia… please, don’t do this. Don’t cry. What’s wrong?” I couldn’t figure her out. She was crying harder now. I couldn’t stand the fact that I had done this to her. I took her onto my lap and into my arms. I held her tight and rocked her, not saying anything, just letting her be. I wanted to ask her so many more questions, but as long as she was allowing me to comfort her, I would sit in silence forever.
    “I’m not a whore,” Gia said out of the blue. What? “It’s just been a really long time and I am unbelievably physically attracted to you. You’re like an aphrodisiac every time you look at me, and then you say and do things that make me squirm and give me butterflies, and I’m sorry… I wasn’t expecting to meet someone who wants to know who I am, what makes me tick, likes, dislikes and all that. I’m not even sure who I am. I just don’t want you to think I’m a whore.” Thank Goodness! She had opened up, just enough to give me a glimpse of herself. I would settle for a glimpse, for now. At least I knew