Read Online Lord Ruin by Carolyn Jewel - Free Book Online

I’m going to wake up and find it’s all been an awful dream. Only I haven’t.”
    “We must make the best of the hand fate dealt us.”
    “I am very good at making the best of things.” She returned to the window, staring steadfastly out as if fascinated by the view. “But I want my life back the way it was.”
    “Put your regrets aside. They do no one any good. Least of all us.” Late afternoon sun lit her hair, bringing out subtle shades in her braided bun that ranged from palest gold to silver-white. Not plain hair by any means.
    Just a plain arrangement. As with her figure. Plain coverings hid the beauty of her form.
    “Never, ever, has it mattered what I want. Not to anyone.” She pressed her forehead to the window and spoke in soft, constricted words. “Always, I must accept someone else’s decision about my life. First Papa. Then Aldreth. Now you. But I am not a puppet to be manipulated as if I don’t matter.” She clenched a fist to her throat. “I am not.”
    “What is it you want? Jewels? New gowns?” he teased, thinking of having his fingers threaded in masses of silver-gilt hair. “A box at the opera? A pretty mare and an elegant carriage round out the usual requests. I’m a generous man and think I can be a generous husband.” Midnight blue would be her color, he thought. Yes. Dark and dramatic tones in counterpoint to her coloring. Rich silks and sensuous velvet, as soft and luxurious as her skin.
    She turned again, perfectly composed. “I want to go home.” They stood close enough that he could touch her. Which he did. A soft, gentle stroke along her cheek. For him, the contact was a lightning strike, a bolt of sensation that leapt from her and shot through him like fire through dry grass. She gasped, and that made him wonder if she’d felt it, too. “I don’t want to feel,” she whispered. “I want only to get through this without disaster.”
    “Without inconvenient feelings.” He felt a bit at sea because he’d never in his life had so perfect an understanding of any woman. Women as a species, he understood quite well. But any woman in particular? Never. Until now. She was a stranger to him, but not a stranger.
    “Exactly,” she said.
    “In that, Anne, we are in accord.” He had the damnably persistent feeling he’d known her for years and could speak to her without dissembling. As if she were a long lost friend with whom he had only to become reacquainted. Again, not what he was used to when dealing with women.
    She shook her head. “This cannot possibly succeed.”
    “I will take care of you. Never doubt that. You are my wife. I take care of what is mine.”
    “I am not yours.” Her spectacles slipped downward, but she ignored them. Lashes black as night made her eyes seem paler than they actually were. Lord, how had he ever thought such eyes lacked spirit? Hers blazed with intelligence.
    “Yes, you are.” He smiled slightly. “You gave yourself to me when you signed your name on the marriage lines.” Christ, her eyes were lovely.
    “Papa said you would set me aside.”
    “So that’s what he told you downstairs.” He shook his head. “I wondered about that. What else did he say? Never mind. I don’t want to know. Your father does not signify.”
    “He said you will divorce me. That I shall have to live abroad until Parliament grants you a divorce. Then—” She faltered just the tiniest bit. “Then, sir, why, I will to Bartley Green, and you’ll never hear from me again.”
    “I’m afraid that’s not possible.”
    “Bartley Green is my home. Why on earth could I not go back?”
    “A divorce. A divorce is not possible.”
    “You can’t mean you haven’t the money or the influence.”
    “I have both, of course.”
    She lifted her palms. “Well, then.”
    “Divorce would ruin me. I’d not be welcome anywhere. More important, I’d have to step down from Parliament and the Privy Council. If I were prepared to do that, I would have done as you