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Authors: Linda Lemoncheck
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ready to exploit her sexuality and facilitating her exploration of one among many different ways that she may give meaning and value to her erotic life.
The next section of this chapter explores the variety of meanings that are given to the terms "promiscuous" and "promiscuity." I argue that many of the difficulties in sorting out some of the complaints against sexual promiscuity may be attributed to this semantic variety. I also show how a patriarchy that has an investment in women's sexual monogamy also has an investment in convincing women that monogamy is the only safe haven for intimate and satisfying sex. Further discussion examines some of the specific complaints that feminists have against women's adopting a promiscuous lifestyle. I argue that because a woman's promiscuous sex can be, although it need not be, sex that respects and nurtures the particular sexual needs of her partners, feminists who object to sex that is impersonal and objectifying cannot reject women's promiscuity out of hand. I then address some of the arguments offered in favor of women's sexual promiscuity, particularly the argument that a woman's promiscuity promotes her sexual satisfaction and growth by encouraging her to explore her own sexual needs. I argue that the "view from somewhere different" can empower women to negotiate the tensions among conflicting moral views on promiscuity by describing promiscuous sex as dialectically situated in a world in which women are both the subordinated objects and active subjects of our sexual lives. I also examine some of the special complaints reserved for a sexually promiscuous woman that do not apply to her male counterpart and explore some of the stereotypes of promiscuous sexual behavior that circumscribe women and men of color. I contend that the denigration of a woman's promiscuity acts as a way of limiting her capacity to act as a self-determining sexual subject. The closing discussion examines the argument that promiscuous sex is lethal in an era of AIDS and so objectionable
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on those grounds alone. My claim is that AIDS is reason for caution regarding our sexual behavior, but the danger of AIDS is not sufficient reason for condemning all promiscuous sexual exploration, nor is it sufficient to support an argument for abstinence. On the contrary, because AIDS has been used to heap renewed abuse on a homosexual community struggling to define a sexual lifestyle that does not simply mirror traditional heterosexual norms, I argue that we should be wary of any arguments that treat the medical crisis of AIDS as a social commentary on the dangers of sexual liberation.
Only a Numbers Game?
In the conceptual analysis that comprises much of the traditional literature on the philosophy of sex, very little has been written on the meaning of sexual promiscuity. 7 However, what is traditionally meant by the term "promiscuity" is vital philosophical information if we are to examine any feminist attempts at its re conceptualization. For example, if promiscuity is only a numbers game, then why did polygamous Mormon men at the turn of this century, men with six or more wives, each of whom received weekly conjugal visits, rail against the evils of promiscuity? To cite hypocrisy or self-deception is too facile. If we resolve the Mormon case by claiming that promiscuity must also constitute a failure to promise a lifelong sexual commitment, then the unmarried woman, widowed three times, whose current sexual experience consists of her exclusive two-year romance with her childhood sweetheart must be considered promiscuous. 8 Compare this sexually faithful woman to her sister, a barhopper who goes home with a different man every night, and the behavior suggests a difference in kind, not just degree. Furthermore, if the dangers of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases explain our contemporary disapproval of promiscuity, then why is the disease-free woman who uses effective contraception, sleeps only with
The next section of this chapter explores the variety of meanings that are given to the terms "promiscuous" and "promiscuity." I argue that many of the difficulties in sorting out some of the complaints against sexual promiscuity may be attributed to this semantic variety. I also show how a patriarchy that has an investment in women's sexual monogamy also has an investment in convincing women that monogamy is the only safe haven for intimate and satisfying sex. Further discussion examines some of the specific complaints that feminists have against women's adopting a promiscuous lifestyle. I argue that because a woman's promiscuous sex can be, although it need not be, sex that respects and nurtures the particular sexual needs of her partners, feminists who object to sex that is impersonal and objectifying cannot reject women's promiscuity out of hand. I then address some of the arguments offered in favor of women's sexual promiscuity, particularly the argument that a woman's promiscuity promotes her sexual satisfaction and growth by encouraging her to explore her own sexual needs. I argue that the "view from somewhere different" can empower women to negotiate the tensions among conflicting moral views on promiscuity by describing promiscuous sex as dialectically situated in a world in which women are both the subordinated objects and active subjects of our sexual lives. I also examine some of the special complaints reserved for a sexually promiscuous woman that do not apply to her male counterpart and explore some of the stereotypes of promiscuous sexual behavior that circumscribe women and men of color. I contend that the denigration of a woman's promiscuity acts as a way of limiting her capacity to act as a self-determining sexual subject. The closing discussion examines the argument that promiscuous sex is lethal in an era of AIDS and so objectionable
Page 30
on those grounds alone. My claim is that AIDS is reason for caution regarding our sexual behavior, but the danger of AIDS is not sufficient reason for condemning all promiscuous sexual exploration, nor is it sufficient to support an argument for abstinence. On the contrary, because AIDS has been used to heap renewed abuse on a homosexual community struggling to define a sexual lifestyle that does not simply mirror traditional heterosexual norms, I argue that we should be wary of any arguments that treat the medical crisis of AIDS as a social commentary on the dangers of sexual liberation.
Only a Numbers Game?
In the conceptual analysis that comprises much of the traditional literature on the philosophy of sex, very little has been written on the meaning of sexual promiscuity. 7 However, what is traditionally meant by the term "promiscuity" is vital philosophical information if we are to examine any feminist attempts at its re conceptualization. For example, if promiscuity is only a numbers game, then why did polygamous Mormon men at the turn of this century, men with six or more wives, each of whom received weekly conjugal visits, rail against the evils of promiscuity? To cite hypocrisy or self-deception is too facile. If we resolve the Mormon case by claiming that promiscuity must also constitute a failure to promise a lifelong sexual commitment, then the unmarried woman, widowed three times, whose current sexual experience consists of her exclusive two-year romance with her childhood sweetheart must be considered promiscuous. 8 Compare this sexually faithful woman to her sister, a barhopper who goes home with a different man every night, and the behavior suggests a difference in kind, not just degree. Furthermore, if the dangers of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases explain our contemporary disapproval of promiscuity, then why is the disease-free woman who uses effective contraception, sleeps only with
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