you for what you have done here, and what you have been to me. You are the best friend I could have had in these difficult circumstances, and you are the best lover, I never had.”
He looked puzzled, then recognised the pun and smiled at me.
“I don’t, er,” I continued. “I’m not very experienced with men. I don’t often sleep over, or, er, have one night stands.” Not very often, anyway, I thought, remembering my night in West Kensington.
“I noticed,” he said quietly and watched me as I cleared away the mugs.
“Time to go,” I said, trying to sound breezy and stood on tip toe to kiss his cheek. He looked reluctant but I opened the front door and pushed him out, closing it after him.
In the empty apartment I felt gloomy and was hard pressed not to cry. I knew I was going to miss Jurgen and was afraid of being alone. The apartment was at ground level and suddenly seemed very vulnerable. I paced around checking the rooms. The place was quiet and I sat down again at the table wondering what to do with the day. Just one good thing has come out of all this, I thought. I’ve stopped thinking about Joe.
Ten minutes later the door bell rang, giving me a jolt. Nervously I went to open it, scared it might be an unwelcome visitor, but Jurgen stood there again, a bunch of tulips in his hand.
“I got these for you,” he said. “From that shop in Elgin Avenue.”
They were beautiful, orange, purple, and yellow, and I felt overcome.
“No one’s ever bought me flowers before,” I said, biting my lip. “Thank you.”
“May I come in?”
I held the door open for him and he went through to the kitchen again and sat down. Carrying his tulips, I put them in the only vase we had, filled it with water and placing them in the centre of the table, sat down opposite him.
“I must not leave like this, you will be at risk. I will have to tell her. I can’t go. I have decided.”
“No. We lived here without harm for a month before you came. I don’t believe there is a risk. Aidan won’t tell me what happened, but if I’m careful, stick to main roads, daylight, I shall be okay. And the nights get lighter all the time. Honestly, I shall be safe. Really. Anyway, I won’t be on my own for long. He’s coming home.”
He sighed. “Are you sure? You know this?”
I nodded. Reluctantly, it seemed to me, he got up to leave again. This time he kissed me on the mouth, very sexily I thought, and I had to stop myself from clinging to him and asking him to stay with me, after all. I carefully closed the door behind him and locked and bolted it. Then I walked around the apartment again, checking the rooms and locking each window in turn.
CHAPTER FOUR
Three weeks later, Aidan came home from hospital, a broken man. Swathed in bandages and walking on crutches, even around the apartment, he didn’t want to go out, and seemed to me to be utterly devastated. His life revolved around visits from district nurses, his therapist, and the TV schedules. But I didn’t mind; I was just happy to have him back with me.
I attended the college in Warwick Avenue every day, but my heart wasn’t in it. I tried desperately to concentrate and worked hard at the projects I was given, but my creative spark was missing.
Despite my poor performance, I was sure the lecturers made allowances for me, as everyone knew what had happened to Aidan. Even though I planned to tell them that he was involved in a road accident, the police had been to the college, and spilled the beans. Somehow I felt tainted and even more isolated than before. I shopped and cooked and cleaned. Without Jurgen’s contribution to the rent, Aidan and I were like an impoverished married couple without the consolation of sex.
Our financial situation was getting worse. I economised as much as possible but, although he never went anywhere, Aidan’s condition was a drain on our resources. The other students in my course often went out together after work but I never
He looked puzzled, then recognised the pun and smiled at me.
“I don’t, er,” I continued. “I’m not very experienced with men. I don’t often sleep over, or, er, have one night stands.” Not very often, anyway, I thought, remembering my night in West Kensington.
“I noticed,” he said quietly and watched me as I cleared away the mugs.
“Time to go,” I said, trying to sound breezy and stood on tip toe to kiss his cheek. He looked reluctant but I opened the front door and pushed him out, closing it after him.
In the empty apartment I felt gloomy and was hard pressed not to cry. I knew I was going to miss Jurgen and was afraid of being alone. The apartment was at ground level and suddenly seemed very vulnerable. I paced around checking the rooms. The place was quiet and I sat down again at the table wondering what to do with the day. Just one good thing has come out of all this, I thought. I’ve stopped thinking about Joe.
Ten minutes later the door bell rang, giving me a jolt. Nervously I went to open it, scared it might be an unwelcome visitor, but Jurgen stood there again, a bunch of tulips in his hand.
“I got these for you,” he said. “From that shop in Elgin Avenue.”
They were beautiful, orange, purple, and yellow, and I felt overcome.
“No one’s ever bought me flowers before,” I said, biting my lip. “Thank you.”
“May I come in?”
I held the door open for him and he went through to the kitchen again and sat down. Carrying his tulips, I put them in the only vase we had, filled it with water and placing them in the centre of the table, sat down opposite him.
“I must not leave like this, you will be at risk. I will have to tell her. I can’t go. I have decided.”
“No. We lived here without harm for a month before you came. I don’t believe there is a risk. Aidan won’t tell me what happened, but if I’m careful, stick to main roads, daylight, I shall be okay. And the nights get lighter all the time. Honestly, I shall be safe. Really. Anyway, I won’t be on my own for long. He’s coming home.”
He sighed. “Are you sure? You know this?”
I nodded. Reluctantly, it seemed to me, he got up to leave again. This time he kissed me on the mouth, very sexily I thought, and I had to stop myself from clinging to him and asking him to stay with me, after all. I carefully closed the door behind him and locked and bolted it. Then I walked around the apartment again, checking the rooms and locking each window in turn.
CHAPTER FOUR
Three weeks later, Aidan came home from hospital, a broken man. Swathed in bandages and walking on crutches, even around the apartment, he didn’t want to go out, and seemed to me to be utterly devastated. His life revolved around visits from district nurses, his therapist, and the TV schedules. But I didn’t mind; I was just happy to have him back with me.
I attended the college in Warwick Avenue every day, but my heart wasn’t in it. I tried desperately to concentrate and worked hard at the projects I was given, but my creative spark was missing.
Despite my poor performance, I was sure the lecturers made allowances for me, as everyone knew what had happened to Aidan. Even though I planned to tell them that he was involved in a road accident, the police had been to the college, and spilled the beans. Somehow I felt tainted and even more isolated than before. I shopped and cooked and cleaned. Without Jurgen’s contribution to the rent, Aidan and I were like an impoverished married couple without the consolation of sex.
Our financial situation was getting worse. I economised as much as possible but, although he never went anywhere, Aidan’s condition was a drain on our resources. The other students in my course often went out together after work but I never
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