Light in the Shadows

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Authors: A. Meredith Walters
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something, anything, that allowed me to hold onto what we had.  I had wrapped it and put it under my bed.  Never forgetting about it, but not entirely sure what I was going to do with it either.
     
                  It wasn’t like I could send it to him.  I didn’t even know where he was.  And after getting the brush off, I should have just thrown it out.  I stared at the gift a bit longer and then made up my mind.
     
                  I tucked it into my messenger bag and went back down stairs to grab my keys.  Fifteen minutes later I was pulling into a familiar parking lot.  My heart hammered in my chest and my breathing was heavy.  What the hell was I doing? 
     
                  I found myself getting out of my car and walking toward the front of the store.  The tinkling of bells indicated my entrance.  Looking around, I was comforted by the familiarity of my surroundings. 
     
                  I knew why I had avoided Ruby’s Bookshelf but standing there, breathing in the pungent incense and hearing the predictable strains of the new age music over the speakers, I only felt peaceful.  I wasn’t hit by any of my newly acquired neurosis when confronted by anything “Clay related.”  No, this was a place I had loved before he came along and I realized that I could still enjoy being here.
     
                  “Maggie!” I turned to the sound of Clay’s aunt Ruby, who had come around the counter and was practically running toward me.  Despite the initial gut twisting that accompanied seeing Ruby after all this time, she was still a welcome sight. 
     
                  “Hiya Ruby!” I said softly as I was enveloped in a warm hug.  There was just something about this woman that made me feel safe.  As if the bad memories could be washed away by her infectious happiness.
     
                  “It’s been too long, my love.” She squeezed my cheeks between her palms and I couldn’t help but grin. 
     
                  “You’re right.  It has been.” I looked around the shop.  “I think some new reading material is in order,” I said, putting off the real reason for my visit.  Ruby nodded and shooed me into the back where she kept the books. 
     
                  “Take your time!  I just got a bunch of new stuff.  They’re in a pile on the table there.”  Ruby seemed so genuinely glad to see me and I felt a bit guilty for not coming by sooner.  I couldn’t shut everyone and everything out.  It was time for me to grow up and reintroduce myself to my spine. 
     
                  So I did as Ruby said and took my time browsing the books.  I even took it upon myself to shelve the items she clearly hadn’t had time to sort out yet.  It felt good to slip back into a part of my life that I had avoided for so long.  And even if doing the mundane task reminded me of a dozen days spent doing this very thing with a boy I had loved and lost, it still felt good to do it.
     
                  After loading myself up with an armful of books, I made my way to the front counter.  The shop was quiet, only a few other customers roamed about.  Ruby reached out to take the books.  “Wow, you really loaded up.”  She proceeded to drop them into a plastic bag and hand it to me without ringing them up.
     
                  “Uh, didn’t you forget the whole paying part?” I laughed, pulling my wallet out of my messenger bag.  Ruby waved my money away.
     
                  “You are absolutely not paying for a thing.  I’ve missed you, Maggie.  Consider this a happy as pie to see you gift.”  Ruby’s wide smile made it hard to argue.  Though I made a good show of grumbling.
     
                  “I want to pay, Ruby.  Come on,” I urged, still trying to shove some cash in her hand.  She curled my fingers around the money

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