Read Online Life After Forty by Dora Heldt - Free Book Online

in thought.”
    I had butterflies in my stomach.
    “I said, I’ll get the bill and then we can go down to the beach. Then we can…we’ll see.”
    My heart fluttered.
    Edith’s voice said, Are you crazy? This is Jens!
    Charlotte replied, It’ll be nice.
    I shook both of them out of my head and looked at Jens. My hand turned over of its own accord, my thumb and his little finger clasped together.
    “Good idea.”
    He smiled, stroking his thumb slowly over my hand. He stared at me, holding my gaze for ages. Suddenly, the waiter appeared next to us. Without letting go of my hand for a second, Jens pulled his wallet out of his jeans, managing to pay and put the change back with just one hand.
    We stood up to leave. I felt like I was being moved by some strong force as we headed for the exit. I could feel Jens walking behind me. At a narrow point in the passageway we had to stop for a moment, and I felt his hand brush over my hip. My skin tingled.
    Without speaking we walked across the parking lot and towards the beach. As the last beach walkers were coming towards us, we had to walk single file along the wooden walkway that led over the dunes. Jens’s hand sought mine from behind, and our fingers entangled.
    Then we were down on the beach, with the sea before us and stars up above. It was still warm. Jens held my hand tightly as we walked down silently to the water’s edge.
    Edith: This is such a cliché.
    Charlotte: Stop walking.
    I stopped and looked at Jens. He clasped my neck and pulled me towards him. The first kiss was cautious. He stopped and looked into my eyes. The second kiss was urgent.
    I wanted him, and I wanted him here and now. I felt dizzy as his hands pushed under my jacket, then under my top.
    His warm, lovely hands.
    I touched his bare skin beneath his shirt. Even more warm. He was breathing quicker, and he kept kissing me.
    Edith: What are you doing? You’ve lost your mind.
    Be quiet, I replied.
    I pushed my hands into his jeans pockets, pulled him closer into me, felt how hard he was, heard the rawness in his voice.
    “Christine, I want you.”
    Instead of answering, I kissed him. I couldn’t stop stroking the warmth of his skin.
    Entangled, we went over to one of the beach chairs. Without letting go of each other for a moment, we sank down into it, opening zippers and buttons as we went.
    I still felt drunk. And more turned on than I had been in months.
    My eyes were closed. I could feel his hands, his tongue. I heard the waves crash nearby, his soft groaning. As he pushed himself inside me, the hard edges of the beach chair cut into my elbows. With every thrust my skin chafed against it. The same happened to my knee. It was uncomfortable.
    I opened my eyes.
    Jens’s face was above me, his eyes closed, his mouth slightly open.
    I felt dizzy. It was good to feel him, but in spite of that something was wrong.
    My knee and elbows hurt, I was in an uncomfortable position, and my mind was suddenly filled with images of children playing on the beach.
    Jens groaned loudly.
    His face lay against my neck. He was breathing heavily. Bernd’s face came into my mind, but I shook it away. Why could I feel tears coming?
    I looked at Jens and felt tenderness towards him. He was so familiar. Had been my whole life.
    He lifted his head and looked at me.
    Please don’t say the wrong thing, I thought.
    “It always looks so much easier in the films. Can you still move?” he asked.
    Thank you. I had to laugh. “My knee hurts like hell.”
    Jens laughed too and pulled himself up.
    “I think we’re too old for acrobatics.”
    He found his jeans crumpled up in the sand and pulled them on. Then he turned to me.
    “You’re a wonderful woman. Thank you for this evening and for…this feeling.”
    He helped me get my things on, got fully dressed, and then sat back down and put his arm around me. We sat there together on the beach chair for almost an hour, looking at the sea, lost in our thoughts. I felt