Read Online Letters to Matt by Tara Lin Mossinghoff - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Tara Lin Mossinghoff
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kissed my forehead. “You’re going to be a great mommy.”
The room is busy with people for a couple of hours. Most of our friends stop by to congratulate me and coo over the new baby. Everyone is happy to meet the new addition, but I hear agitation in Mitch’s voice when he mentions something I’ve dreaded since I made the decision.
“She didn’t give Sophie Matt’s last name?” he asks in a hushed whisper to Mandy. The hurt in his voice is evident and I don’t blame him.
Mandy just shrugs, but it’s Connie that speaks. “She wanted to,” she defends. “Trust me, she fought us tooth and nail on it, but we convinced her it would be less confusing and easier on both of them if they shared a last name. It doesn’t make her any less Matt’s daughter, or any less our grandchild. A name is just that.”
I feel myself smile at Connie’s words. Mitch looks sheepish and bows his head, ashamed at being scolded. He glances up at me and I see the apology in his eyes. I nod my head to let him know it’s okay. The tension releases from the room and everyone goes back to fawning over Sophie.
My sister calls to tell me how excited she is to meet Sophie. She’s sad that she can’t make it down until the weekend. Mandy can tell I’m starting to get tired and ushers everyone out of the room.
I’m fighting to keep my eyes open as I thank Mandy. The nurses tell me that they’re going to give the baby a bath while I take a nap. I’m so exhausted. This day has taken so much out of me. I’m barely aware of the door clicking shut behind Mandy as I drift off into a dreamless sleep.
They keep me in the hospital for another day. They help me get in the swing of feeding and changing Sophie. Every single second I get to spend with the little girl is a blessing. It amazes me how much I can love a little six pound baby that wasn’t here just a few days ago. I know I have to share her and others want to hold her, but I feel like I’m always holding my breath until she’s in my arms again. I can only truly breathe when her skin is touching mine.
I’m brushing her cheek, watching as she sleeps peacefully when I hear the door open. It’s Mom returning from lunch.
“The nurse told me they’re ready to let you go home. You ready?”
“Yup,” I say, moving gently off the bed so as not to wake my snoozing daughter. Mom offers to take her with a reach of her arms, but I shake my head. I carefully set her down in her carrier and buckle her in, making sure she’s secure.
Mom stares down at her. “She’s so precious.”
“Yeah. She is,” I agree. “She has Matt’s nose.”
Mom smiles at me. I lean down to pick her up, but Dad stops me. He came in the room while I was securing Sophie. “Let me. You shouldn’t be lifting anything yet.”
“Thanks,” I tell him.
Mom and I grab the various flowers and stuffed animals and cards I’d received. Dad grabs our bags, and the four of us make our way out of the hospital. I am going home with Mom and Dad for a little while so they can help me with the baby.
The days turn into a week and then two. I’m still at Mom’s, but am getting antsy to go home with Sophie. Honestly, I am just antsy in general. That love and attachment I felt for Sophie when she was first born is starting to fade.
I still love her and I still do what it takes to care for her, but I don’t feel that connection new moms are always talking about. I want out of the house so that Mom and Dad won’t start to notice that I don’t love my daughter like I should.
Mom protests, of course, but I assure her that I can handle it and that I’ll call her if I need to. “Besides,” I argue, “Mandy will practically live with me.” She’s already become a permanent fixture at the house. She dotes on Sophie. She coos at her and holds her while she sleeps. She does all those things that I’ve had little desire to do since we left the hospital.
Mom finally agrees and helps me
The room is busy with people for a couple of hours. Most of our friends stop by to congratulate me and coo over the new baby. Everyone is happy to meet the new addition, but I hear agitation in Mitch’s voice when he mentions something I’ve dreaded since I made the decision.
“She didn’t give Sophie Matt’s last name?” he asks in a hushed whisper to Mandy. The hurt in his voice is evident and I don’t blame him.
Mandy just shrugs, but it’s Connie that speaks. “She wanted to,” she defends. “Trust me, she fought us tooth and nail on it, but we convinced her it would be less confusing and easier on both of them if they shared a last name. It doesn’t make her any less Matt’s daughter, or any less our grandchild. A name is just that.”
I feel myself smile at Connie’s words. Mitch looks sheepish and bows his head, ashamed at being scolded. He glances up at me and I see the apology in his eyes. I nod my head to let him know it’s okay. The tension releases from the room and everyone goes back to fawning over Sophie.
My sister calls to tell me how excited she is to meet Sophie. She’s sad that she can’t make it down until the weekend. Mandy can tell I’m starting to get tired and ushers everyone out of the room.
I’m fighting to keep my eyes open as I thank Mandy. The nurses tell me that they’re going to give the baby a bath while I take a nap. I’m so exhausted. This day has taken so much out of me. I’m barely aware of the door clicking shut behind Mandy as I drift off into a dreamless sleep.
They keep me in the hospital for another day. They help me get in the swing of feeding and changing Sophie. Every single second I get to spend with the little girl is a blessing. It amazes me how much I can love a little six pound baby that wasn’t here just a few days ago. I know I have to share her and others want to hold her, but I feel like I’m always holding my breath until she’s in my arms again. I can only truly breathe when her skin is touching mine.
I’m brushing her cheek, watching as she sleeps peacefully when I hear the door open. It’s Mom returning from lunch.
“The nurse told me they’re ready to let you go home. You ready?”
“Yup,” I say, moving gently off the bed so as not to wake my snoozing daughter. Mom offers to take her with a reach of her arms, but I shake my head. I carefully set her down in her carrier and buckle her in, making sure she’s secure.
Mom stares down at her. “She’s so precious.”
“Yeah. She is,” I agree. “She has Matt’s nose.”
Mom smiles at me. I lean down to pick her up, but Dad stops me. He came in the room while I was securing Sophie. “Let me. You shouldn’t be lifting anything yet.”
“Thanks,” I tell him.
Mom and I grab the various flowers and stuffed animals and cards I’d received. Dad grabs our bags, and the four of us make our way out of the hospital. I am going home with Mom and Dad for a little while so they can help me with the baby.
The days turn into a week and then two. I’m still at Mom’s, but am getting antsy to go home with Sophie. Honestly, I am just antsy in general. That love and attachment I felt for Sophie when she was first born is starting to fade.
I still love her and I still do what it takes to care for her, but I don’t feel that connection new moms are always talking about. I want out of the house so that Mom and Dad won’t start to notice that I don’t love my daughter like I should.
Mom protests, of course, but I assure her that I can handle it and that I’ll call her if I need to. “Besides,” I argue, “Mandy will practically live with me.” She’s already become a permanent fixture at the house. She dotes on Sophie. She coos at her and holds her while she sleeps. She does all those things that I’ve had little desire to do since we left the hospital.
Mom finally agrees and helps me
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