Read Online Let's Call the Whole Thing Off by Jill Steeples - Free Book Online
Authors: Jill Steeples
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the shame?
Definitely, once this awful episode in my life was over and things had returned to some kind of normality, if that was possible, then one of the first things I would do was make it up to Ben. I would take him out for a slap-up meal. Who knew, I might be living in a different place then, a place of my own, and I might even have a new and proper boyfriend, one that wouldn’t cheat on me. And Ben and I would go to a swanky restaurant and I’d tell him all about my wonderful new life and my wonderful new boyfriend and we would look back at this time and laugh. We’d laugh about our lucky escapes. Mine from making the biggest mistake of my life by marrying Ed and Ben’s from that wacky night when we both nearly made a huge mistake and ended up in bed together.
I pulled out my phone and logged into my bank account. I had precisely £10327.65 to last me until payday. Admittedly £10K of that was money Ed had transferred across from his savings account earlier in the week to pay off some of the wedding expenses. But if it wasn’t for him and his stupid, selfish behaviour, I reasoned, then I wouldn’t be in this mess now so I was perfectly entitled to help myself to that money as … as my severance pay. That would teach him!
My phone beeped. Two texts.
Ed: Have a lovely time. Would be great to chat if you have the time. Remember, ILY xxx
Ben: Be careful. Don’t do anything stupid. If you want to come home, just call and I’ll come and fetch you. Xx
I switched off the phone and stuffed it to the bottom of my handbag, resolving not to look at it again. If I wanted to forget about everybody and everything at home and concentrate instead on what I was going to do with the rest of my life then I didn’t need those sorts of reminders. For a couple of days, at least. Funny thing was, it wasn’t Ed’s slightly needy and increasingly annoying texts and emails that were troubling me, but the thought of Ben back at his cottage going about his business, gently worrying about me, knowing that I would need only to say the word and he’d be at my side in an instance. My head dropped backwards on the seat and my eyes closed.
Yes, some distance from everybody would do me the power of good.
***
When I walked out of the station at Hollisea with my bag slung over my shoulder I had no idea where I was going, but it didn’t matter. I simply followed the signs to the beachfront.
The sun was shining, and its warmth on my skin gave me a tingle of anticipation. For the first time since I’d stumbled upon that diary and found out that my life was one whopping great big lie, I felt a tiny glimmer of hope bubbling in my stomach. A guy walked past me – young and fit and gorgeous-looking in his tight black T-shirt and blue jeans. The way his gaze travelled my body appreciatively, a wide smile on his lips, did more for my confidence in that moment than playing second fiddle to Ed for five years had ever done.
So, take that, Ed! I am an attractive, vibrant woman who has random good-looking young men admiring her in the street. Ha! You are welcome to Sophie and her two-faced ways, and one day, when I’ve got my new life and my new flat and I’ve got you totally and utterly out of my system, we’ll bump into each other in the street and you’ll have a moment, an uneasy moment, when you look back and think Did I really do the right thing? And already, I think, you know the answer to that one because I know I do.
When I reached the bottom of the hill I turned left and, miraculously, I was beside the seaside. I took a big breath, savouring the salty deliciousness in my nostrils, feeling the breeze lifting my hair. It must have been fifteen years since I was last here on a day trip with my mum and dad, but instantly I felt the same sense of exhilaration at being on an adventure. I could see the pier stretching out into the distance and headed that way.
People acted differently at the seaside. They smiled at you, made eye contact,
Definitely, once this awful episode in my life was over and things had returned to some kind of normality, if that was possible, then one of the first things I would do was make it up to Ben. I would take him out for a slap-up meal. Who knew, I might be living in a different place then, a place of my own, and I might even have a new and proper boyfriend, one that wouldn’t cheat on me. And Ben and I would go to a swanky restaurant and I’d tell him all about my wonderful new life and my wonderful new boyfriend and we would look back at this time and laugh. We’d laugh about our lucky escapes. Mine from making the biggest mistake of my life by marrying Ed and Ben’s from that wacky night when we both nearly made a huge mistake and ended up in bed together.
I pulled out my phone and logged into my bank account. I had precisely £10327.65 to last me until payday. Admittedly £10K of that was money Ed had transferred across from his savings account earlier in the week to pay off some of the wedding expenses. But if it wasn’t for him and his stupid, selfish behaviour, I reasoned, then I wouldn’t be in this mess now so I was perfectly entitled to help myself to that money as … as my severance pay. That would teach him!
My phone beeped. Two texts.
Ed: Have a lovely time. Would be great to chat if you have the time. Remember, ILY xxx
Ben: Be careful. Don’t do anything stupid. If you want to come home, just call and I’ll come and fetch you. Xx
I switched off the phone and stuffed it to the bottom of my handbag, resolving not to look at it again. If I wanted to forget about everybody and everything at home and concentrate instead on what I was going to do with the rest of my life then I didn’t need those sorts of reminders. For a couple of days, at least. Funny thing was, it wasn’t Ed’s slightly needy and increasingly annoying texts and emails that were troubling me, but the thought of Ben back at his cottage going about his business, gently worrying about me, knowing that I would need only to say the word and he’d be at my side in an instance. My head dropped backwards on the seat and my eyes closed.
Yes, some distance from everybody would do me the power of good.
***
When I walked out of the station at Hollisea with my bag slung over my shoulder I had no idea where I was going, but it didn’t matter. I simply followed the signs to the beachfront.
The sun was shining, and its warmth on my skin gave me a tingle of anticipation. For the first time since I’d stumbled upon that diary and found out that my life was one whopping great big lie, I felt a tiny glimmer of hope bubbling in my stomach. A guy walked past me – young and fit and gorgeous-looking in his tight black T-shirt and blue jeans. The way his gaze travelled my body appreciatively, a wide smile on his lips, did more for my confidence in that moment than playing second fiddle to Ed for five years had ever done.
So, take that, Ed! I am an attractive, vibrant woman who has random good-looking young men admiring her in the street. Ha! You are welcome to Sophie and her two-faced ways, and one day, when I’ve got my new life and my new flat and I’ve got you totally and utterly out of my system, we’ll bump into each other in the street and you’ll have a moment, an uneasy moment, when you look back and think Did I really do the right thing? And already, I think, you know the answer to that one because I know I do.
When I reached the bottom of the hill I turned left and, miraculously, I was beside the seaside. I took a big breath, savouring the salty deliciousness in my nostrils, feeling the breeze lifting my hair. It must have been fifteen years since I was last here on a day trip with my mum and dad, but instantly I felt the same sense of exhilaration at being on an adventure. I could see the pier stretching out into the distance and headed that way.
People acted differently at the seaside. They smiled at you, made eye contact,
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