Read Online Let Me Call You Sweetheart: Come Rain or Come Shine by Gwen Hayes - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Gwen Hayes
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was going to pull up some of your publicity shots to make it authentic—but I decided I wanted to sketch you the way that I see you. The way nobody else can.
And that is all you are getting from me today.
Sincerely,
Charlie
Dear Charlie,
There are no rules. You can tell me anything you want. Especially if it’s what you are wearing. Especially if the answer is “not much”.
Love,
Jeeves
Dear Jeeves,
That is not a letter. That is a post-it note. Try again.
Regards,
Charlie
Dear Charlie,
Sorry. This sounded like a great idea until I sat down with a pen and paper. I don’t usually write my own material, and it suddenly occurred to me that I might not be very good at it.
Look at that—I just gave you a glimpse at my insecurities. Maybe this is going to work after all.
I want to see the sketch. Not as much as I want to see you. This is going to be much harder than I thought. Whose idea was this anyway?
Love,
Jeeves
February 6
Dear Charlie,
For the last time, I’m not lying. Jeeves Allencaster is my real name. I swear. It’s the name my mother gave me. If I had changed my name for Hollywood, it would have been something manly like Brick or Hunter. Or Vladimir. You know…something that drives the women wild.
I found your first Blaze comic on eBay today for, well, more than I wanted to pay. But it’s on its way. Collector’s edition now, you know. Blaze has quite a following. Did you know they have whole fan-fiction sites about her?
I miss you. Now I know why nobody ever likes my ideas—this pen pal thing is crazy stupid. Why did you go along with it in the first place? I have this overwhelming urge to borrow a cup of sugar. I’m going to be strong.
It’s just that I’ve never missed anyone before. Not like this. And knowing you are right there—it’s killing me.
Love,
Jeeves
February 10
Dear Vlad,
I realize it’s winter, but can you go back to getting your mail with no shirt on?
Yours,
Charlie
Dear Charlie,
In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s raining sideways. The wind took out one of the trees in my backyard last night. I don’t take off my flannel shirt to shower anymore—it’s just too damn cold.
And that was not a letter. Please try again.
Love,
Jeeves
Dear Jeeves,
I saw the tree—I would call Ray Saget to come out with his chainsaw. He doesn’t charge too much.
It’s always windy in February—actually all winter. But it never snows. So don’t be such a baby, and take your clothes off.
I’ve been thinking a lot about you being naked, and I’m for it. Not that I haven’t enjoyed the last few weeks of letters and stolen glances across the yard and at the grocery store, because I really have. I’m just ready for naked. I miss making out on your couch, and I’m frankly a little annoyed that Medusa has become so well adjusted.
Did I mention that I’m ready to take off our clothes now?
Instead, I guess I’ll stoke up the fire. If the wind keeps up, we might lose power. It would be really great if I had someone to snuggle with if that happened.
And by snuggle, I mean naked.
Yours,
Charlie
February 11
Jeeves,
You lying son of a bitch. Please, just don’t write or call. I should have known better—I did know better. But no, instead of listening to my instincts, I trusted you.
C
Charlie,
Knock it off. It’s only six weeks. I’m not moving. I’m not even going to Los Angeles. We’re shooting in Vancouver and I’ll be back. I promise.
I love you.
J
Dear Bootlicking Toad,
Then why are you bringing the dog?
Charlie,
She’s my dog. I can bring her if I want to.
And I may be a bootlicking toad, but I’m your bootlicking toad. Still. Always.
I’m coming back.
J
P.S. I really thought you’d be happy for me. This is a great role.
February 13
Dear Charlie,
Please—I don’t want to leave like this.
These letters have come to mean so much to me.
And that is all you are getting from me today.
Sincerely,
Charlie
Dear Charlie,
There are no rules. You can tell me anything you want. Especially if it’s what you are wearing. Especially if the answer is “not much”.
Love,
Jeeves
Dear Jeeves,
That is not a letter. That is a post-it note. Try again.
Regards,
Charlie
Dear Charlie,
Sorry. This sounded like a great idea until I sat down with a pen and paper. I don’t usually write my own material, and it suddenly occurred to me that I might not be very good at it.
Look at that—I just gave you a glimpse at my insecurities. Maybe this is going to work after all.
I want to see the sketch. Not as much as I want to see you. This is going to be much harder than I thought. Whose idea was this anyway?
Love,
Jeeves
February 6
Dear Charlie,
For the last time, I’m not lying. Jeeves Allencaster is my real name. I swear. It’s the name my mother gave me. If I had changed my name for Hollywood, it would have been something manly like Brick or Hunter. Or Vladimir. You know…something that drives the women wild.
I found your first Blaze comic on eBay today for, well, more than I wanted to pay. But it’s on its way. Collector’s edition now, you know. Blaze has quite a following. Did you know they have whole fan-fiction sites about her?
I miss you. Now I know why nobody ever likes my ideas—this pen pal thing is crazy stupid. Why did you go along with it in the first place? I have this overwhelming urge to borrow a cup of sugar. I’m going to be strong.
It’s just that I’ve never missed anyone before. Not like this. And knowing you are right there—it’s killing me.
Love,
Jeeves
February 10
Dear Vlad,
I realize it’s winter, but can you go back to getting your mail with no shirt on?
Yours,
Charlie
Dear Charlie,
In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s raining sideways. The wind took out one of the trees in my backyard last night. I don’t take off my flannel shirt to shower anymore—it’s just too damn cold.
And that was not a letter. Please try again.
Love,
Jeeves
Dear Jeeves,
I saw the tree—I would call Ray Saget to come out with his chainsaw. He doesn’t charge too much.
It’s always windy in February—actually all winter. But it never snows. So don’t be such a baby, and take your clothes off.
I’ve been thinking a lot about you being naked, and I’m for it. Not that I haven’t enjoyed the last few weeks of letters and stolen glances across the yard and at the grocery store, because I really have. I’m just ready for naked. I miss making out on your couch, and I’m frankly a little annoyed that Medusa has become so well adjusted.
Did I mention that I’m ready to take off our clothes now?
Instead, I guess I’ll stoke up the fire. If the wind keeps up, we might lose power. It would be really great if I had someone to snuggle with if that happened.
And by snuggle, I mean naked.
Yours,
Charlie
February 11
Jeeves,
You lying son of a bitch. Please, just don’t write or call. I should have known better—I did know better. But no, instead of listening to my instincts, I trusted you.
C
Charlie,
Knock it off. It’s only six weeks. I’m not moving. I’m not even going to Los Angeles. We’re shooting in Vancouver and I’ll be back. I promise.
I love you.
J
Dear Bootlicking Toad,
Then why are you bringing the dog?
Charlie,
She’s my dog. I can bring her if I want to.
And I may be a bootlicking toad, but I’m your bootlicking toad. Still. Always.
I’m coming back.
J
P.S. I really thought you’d be happy for me. This is a great role.
February 13
Dear Charlie,
Please—I don’t want to leave like this.
These letters have come to mean so much to me.
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