Julian and
Kendra’s son, Jack, ran toward me, his four-year-old feet barely
keeping up with the pace he wanted to give them. He slammed into
me, nearly tipping me over.
“You want a
ride, Jack?”
“Yes!”
And the same
way he did each time, Jack stepped onto my feet and clasped my
legs. I wobbled like a duck toward the house, picking him up at the
entrance.
“Ok,
double-oh-seven. Do you know what this dinner’s all about?”
He shook his
head up and down feverishly.
“Aren’t you
gonna tell me?” I crouched down to meet his gaze with mine.
“Daddy said if
I say anyphing he will phake away my iPad.”
“Don’t you
know that Auntie Emma would give you our secret one?” I patted my
over-sized purse.
“But Auntie
Emma’s not at my home and I can’t use it if youw not phere.”
“What if we
find a secret place to hide it in your room?”
“And what if I
take away your gadgets, too?” Julian’s deeper voice sounded.
Shit!
“I didn’t say
anyphing,” Jack said defensively, before running into the
house.
“I’m not five
anymore, Julian.”
“You sure act
like it sometimes.”
“That’s
because you choose to see me as a child.” I rolled my eyes and
pushed past him, desperately trying to find one of my
sister-in-laws who I knew would save me from Julian’s grilling.
“Don’t roll
your eyes, Emma,” I heard behind me.
“Hi Mom, hi
Dad,” I hugged my parents. “What’s with the mid-week dinner?”
“Ask your
brothers. They set it up.”
Great! I
should have known.
I made my way
over to hug Kendra and Allie, both of whom sported seven-month
tummies. “Please tell me you’re going on a vacation somewhere and
taking my brothers away with you.”
“Oh Emma, I’m
so sorry they’re over-protective,” Allie said.
“Believe us,
we feel your pain,” Kendra added.
“I wish they
could fixate on something else. Where are Raleigh and Amme?”
“They’re in
the family room,” Allie said.
“I’m just
gonna say hi.”
I hurried over
to the couch, where my niece and nephew were sitting, listening to
music with earphones glued on. I removed one ear-bud from each
child’s ear and stuck my head between theirs so they could hear
me.
“I need double
agents. Find out what this dinner is about, and I’ll add an extra
ten for each of you.” I placed a five-dollar bill in the hands of
each twin. Next to Jack, they were clever little spies, just as I’d
been at their age. And they could work their parents better than
anyone.
Raleigh and
Amme shot off the couch and went two different ways, so
nonchalantly and without drawing attention I could swear they were
professionals.
“Emma, stop
bribing your niece and nephew, and for once act your age.”
“I’m not the
one organizing family dinners mid-week. What’s this, an
intervention of some sort? What are you up to?” I asked Tristan,
resting my hands on my hips.
My brother
came closer and took me into his arms. The gesture was so welcome.
I hated how much I loved it when he hugged me with so much care. He
held me like that for a moment before whispering, “There’s no
intervention, Emma. But your instinct is, as always, spot on. There
is something we need to talk to you about. We love you more than
you know, and I’m sorry we gave you such shitty cases that made you
question everything in life.”
Julian’s voice
sounded from behind, and Tristan let go of me. “We should have
realized sooner that dealing with cheaters on a daily basis could
have consequences. I just hope you haven’t lost faith and hope and
trust. And perhaps this new case you’re being so secretive about
will bring some of that back. Maybe it will open your heart to new
possibilities, so that you can finally grieve properly and move
on.”
My heart
ached. Julian and Tristan knew how much I’d loved David, and how I
never spoke about him. I couldn’t. Letting go wasn’t something I
wanted to do – not yet.
“Thank you. I
really appreciate
Kendra’s son, Jack, ran toward me, his four-year-old feet barely
keeping up with the pace he wanted to give them. He slammed into
me, nearly tipping me over.
“You want a
ride, Jack?”
“Yes!”
And the same
way he did each time, Jack stepped onto my feet and clasped my
legs. I wobbled like a duck toward the house, picking him up at the
entrance.
“Ok,
double-oh-seven. Do you know what this dinner’s all about?”
He shook his
head up and down feverishly.
“Aren’t you
gonna tell me?” I crouched down to meet his gaze with mine.
“Daddy said if
I say anyphing he will phake away my iPad.”
“Don’t you
know that Auntie Emma would give you our secret one?” I patted my
over-sized purse.
“But Auntie
Emma’s not at my home and I can’t use it if youw not phere.”
“What if we
find a secret place to hide it in your room?”
“And what if I
take away your gadgets, too?” Julian’s deeper voice sounded.
Shit!
“I didn’t say
anyphing,” Jack said defensively, before running into the
house.
“I’m not five
anymore, Julian.”
“You sure act
like it sometimes.”
“That’s
because you choose to see me as a child.” I rolled my eyes and
pushed past him, desperately trying to find one of my
sister-in-laws who I knew would save me from Julian’s grilling.
“Don’t roll
your eyes, Emma,” I heard behind me.
“Hi Mom, hi
Dad,” I hugged my parents. “What’s with the mid-week dinner?”
“Ask your
brothers. They set it up.”
Great! I
should have known.
I made my way
over to hug Kendra and Allie, both of whom sported seven-month
tummies. “Please tell me you’re going on a vacation somewhere and
taking my brothers away with you.”
“Oh Emma, I’m
so sorry they’re over-protective,” Allie said.
“Believe us,
we feel your pain,” Kendra added.
“I wish they
could fixate on something else. Where are Raleigh and Amme?”
“They’re in
the family room,” Allie said.
“I’m just
gonna say hi.”
I hurried over
to the couch, where my niece and nephew were sitting, listening to
music with earphones glued on. I removed one ear-bud from each
child’s ear and stuck my head between theirs so they could hear
me.
“I need double
agents. Find out what this dinner is about, and I’ll add an extra
ten for each of you.” I placed a five-dollar bill in the hands of
each twin. Next to Jack, they were clever little spies, just as I’d
been at their age. And they could work their parents better than
anyone.
Raleigh and
Amme shot off the couch and went two different ways, so
nonchalantly and without drawing attention I could swear they were
professionals.
“Emma, stop
bribing your niece and nephew, and for once act your age.”
“I’m not the
one organizing family dinners mid-week. What’s this, an
intervention of some sort? What are you up to?” I asked Tristan,
resting my hands on my hips.
My brother
came closer and took me into his arms. The gesture was so welcome.
I hated how much I loved it when he hugged me with so much care. He
held me like that for a moment before whispering, “There’s no
intervention, Emma. But your instinct is, as always, spot on. There
is something we need to talk to you about. We love you more than
you know, and I’m sorry we gave you such shitty cases that made you
question everything in life.”
Julian’s voice
sounded from behind, and Tristan let go of me. “We should have
realized sooner that dealing with cheaters on a daily basis could
have consequences. I just hope you haven’t lost faith and hope and
trust. And perhaps this new case you’re being so secretive about
will bring some of that back. Maybe it will open your heart to new
possibilities, so that you can finally grieve properly and move
on.”
My heart
ached. Julian and Tristan knew how much I’d loved David, and how I
never spoke about him. I couldn’t. Letting go wasn’t something I
wanted to do – not yet.
“Thank you. I
really appreciate
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