wonder, then, that I was in no frame of mind to frisk and frolic with this debonair dentist.
'Never mind about t he penalties of Fame, B. K. Bur wash,' I said urgently. 'We can discuss all that later. What I wish to do now is issue a statement. A frightful thing has happened, and unless prompt steps are taken through the proper channels, there is going to be a nasty stink kicked up. I may say I happen to know the ringleaders.'
'Just lean back and relax.'
'I won't lean back and relax. I want to issue a statement.'
And I was about to do so, when the door opened and a woman came in. She seemed a bit shirty. She was pshawing and tchahing as she entered.
'All this fuss!' she said. 'I've no patience with them. As if the child wasn't conceited enough already.'
She was a tall, rangy light-heavyweight, severe of aspect. She looked as if she might be an important official on the staff of some well-known female convict establishment. That this was not so was proved by the fact that B. K. Burwash addressed her as Miss Brinkmeyer, and I divined that this must be the woman the kid Cooley had said he disliked.
'I think the little man is feeling all right now, Miss Brinkmeyer,' said B. K. Burwash.
She greeted these kindly words with a snorting sniff indicative of disgust and contempt. I could see why the kid Cooley didn't like this woman. I didn't like her myself. She lacked that indefinable something which we know as charm.
'Of course he's feeling all right. Why wouldn't he be?'
B. K. Burwash said that he always felt a certain anxiety after giving gas. This seemed to stir her up further.
'Pah! Stuff and nonsense! Gas, indeed. When I was a child nobody ever gave me gas. When I was a child, my father used to tie a string to me and fasten it to the barn door and slam it. And it didn't get into the papers, either. All this fuss about a tiny little tooth, which wouldn't ever have started aching if he hadn't been eating candy on the sly, though knowing perfectly well what Clause B. (2) in his contract says. I intend to get to the bottom of this candy business. Somebody is bootlegging it to him, and I mean to find out who it is. He's as artful as a barrel-load of monkeys —'
I was conscious of a growing annoyance. I had fallen into a reverie and was once more endeavouring to grapple with the problems confronting me, and her voice interrupted my meditations. It was a harsh, rasping voice, in its timbre not unlike a sawmill.
I shushed her down with a gesture.
'Don't talk so much,' I said curtly.
'What did you say?'
'I said "Don't talk so much". How can I think with all this gabble going on? For heaven's sake, woman, put a sock in it and let me concentrate.'
This got a fair snicker out of B. K. Burwash, though I hadn't intended to strike the humorous note. It caused Miss Brinkmeyer to pinken and breathe heavily.
'I'd like to put you across my knee and give you a good Spanking.'
I raised a hand.
'No horse-play, if y ou please,' I said distantly.
And then something occurred to me, and the whole situation seemed to brighten. I had just remembered what the kid Cooley had said when sketching out his plans for what he was going to do when he was big enough.
Well, goodness knew he was big enough for anything now. My branch of the family has always run to beef a bit, myself not least. When I boxed for Cambridge, I weighed fourteen stone in the nude.
I gave a hearty chuckle, the first I had felt like emitting for some considerable time.
'Woman,' I said, 'you would do better, instead of threatening violence to others, to look out for yourself. You don't know it, but you are in a very sticky spot. The avenger is on your track. When the blow will fall, we cannot say, but some day, in some place, you are going to get a poke in the snoot. This is official.'
B. K. Burwash became graver. He seemed troubled.
'I hope I did not overdo that gas,' he mused. 'I don't like this. It sounds like delirium. The little fellow's manner has been strange
'Never mind about t he penalties of Fame, B. K. Bur wash,' I said urgently. 'We can discuss all that later. What I wish to do now is issue a statement. A frightful thing has happened, and unless prompt steps are taken through the proper channels, there is going to be a nasty stink kicked up. I may say I happen to know the ringleaders.'
'Just lean back and relax.'
'I won't lean back and relax. I want to issue a statement.'
And I was about to do so, when the door opened and a woman came in. She seemed a bit shirty. She was pshawing and tchahing as she entered.
'All this fuss!' she said. 'I've no patience with them. As if the child wasn't conceited enough already.'
She was a tall, rangy light-heavyweight, severe of aspect. She looked as if she might be an important official on the staff of some well-known female convict establishment. That this was not so was proved by the fact that B. K. Burwash addressed her as Miss Brinkmeyer, and I divined that this must be the woman the kid Cooley had said he disliked.
'I think the little man is feeling all right now, Miss Brinkmeyer,' said B. K. Burwash.
She greeted these kindly words with a snorting sniff indicative of disgust and contempt. I could see why the kid Cooley didn't like this woman. I didn't like her myself. She lacked that indefinable something which we know as charm.
'Of course he's feeling all right. Why wouldn't he be?'
B. K. Burwash said that he always felt a certain anxiety after giving gas. This seemed to stir her up further.
'Pah! Stuff and nonsense! Gas, indeed. When I was a child nobody ever gave me gas. When I was a child, my father used to tie a string to me and fasten it to the barn door and slam it. And it didn't get into the papers, either. All this fuss about a tiny little tooth, which wouldn't ever have started aching if he hadn't been eating candy on the sly, though knowing perfectly well what Clause B. (2) in his contract says. I intend to get to the bottom of this candy business. Somebody is bootlegging it to him, and I mean to find out who it is. He's as artful as a barrel-load of monkeys —'
I was conscious of a growing annoyance. I had fallen into a reverie and was once more endeavouring to grapple with the problems confronting me, and her voice interrupted my meditations. It was a harsh, rasping voice, in its timbre not unlike a sawmill.
I shushed her down with a gesture.
'Don't talk so much,' I said curtly.
'What did you say?'
'I said "Don't talk so much". How can I think with all this gabble going on? For heaven's sake, woman, put a sock in it and let me concentrate.'
This got a fair snicker out of B. K. Burwash, though I hadn't intended to strike the humorous note. It caused Miss Brinkmeyer to pinken and breathe heavily.
'I'd like to put you across my knee and give you a good Spanking.'
I raised a hand.
'No horse-play, if y ou please,' I said distantly.
And then something occurred to me, and the whole situation seemed to brighten. I had just remembered what the kid Cooley had said when sketching out his plans for what he was going to do when he was big enough.
Well, goodness knew he was big enough for anything now. My branch of the family has always run to beef a bit, myself not least. When I boxed for Cambridge, I weighed fourteen stone in the nude.
I gave a hearty chuckle, the first I had felt like emitting for some considerable time.
'Woman,' I said, 'you would do better, instead of threatening violence to others, to look out for yourself. You don't know it, but you are in a very sticky spot. The avenger is on your track. When the blow will fall, we cannot say, but some day, in some place, you are going to get a poke in the snoot. This is official.'
B. K. Burwash became graver. He seemed troubled.
'I hope I did not overdo that gas,' he mused. 'I don't like this. It sounds like delirium. The little fellow's manner has been strange
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