Read Online Last Call by David Lee - Free Book Online

Feast
    including dessert
    then put the Handwriting on the Wall
    went all the way up to Sixies
    before she even let him have a bounce
    he didn’t make it through Twosies
    on Pickups when she pulled her skirt
    up to almost her knees to get his mind
    completely discombobulated
    I asked her if she thought she might ever reconsider
    maybe at least give Haygood back the pocketknife
    she said No
    that was a trophy she intended
    to pass down to her children one day
    as their inheritance
    by then I realized
    between sitting on the hardwood floor
    and the impossibility of ever doing even Onesies’
    Pigs in the Pen much less Double Bouncies
    I conceded the match when she passed into Foursies
    called Daniel and the Angel to come down
    and claim all the credit and glory
    to which she said Now, Grandpa,
    we have to go double or nothing for keeps
    and I said I didn’t know we were betting
    she said You weren’t but I was
    I told you my personal championship strategy
    and if I win this round
    you will have to swear tick a lock secrecy
    to never tell it to anybody you can’t trust
    for the rest of your life
    until I get old and graduate from high school
    get married and have a baby
    when it comes time
    to learn Queenship Mastery
    you can share it only with her
    there are some things a mother
    just can’t tell a daughter
    that’s what Grandpa’s are for
    So get ready Buster
    now I’m going to show you
    once and for all, no holds barred
    how Jacks are played

Elder Johnny Bert Ezell’s Attempt to Re-resign as the Young Adult Men’s Sunday School Teacher
    Brother Parker
    the Only time in my life
    I ever got anything taught
    to anybody was when
    my boy Charles was six
    and on that day I taught him
    in one lesson why it’s best
    not to pick up a cat
    by the tail
    I’ve thought hard
    and even prayed about it
    but I just can’t find any way
    to bring scripture up or down
    to a practical level

From the Pickup Cab on the Back Road to Adolph’s
    There are a couple of things
    about this moving into the golden years
    that fall into the category of pesteration
    Being?
    I can’t hear anymore
    can’t see anymore
    can’t remember a damn thing anymore
    and those are the things that still work
    I heard a bad rumor there comes a time
    when you give up on the usefulness of memory
    but you can designate friends to remember things for you
    and when you outlive your friends you’ll have your children
    but most of all you’ll have your wife
    to correct and amend all those things you misremembered
    I still like it when I can fall
    into one of my unadulterated remembrances
    and never worry one bit about drowning
    or being rescued
    Sorta like throwing a rock
    through the plate glass window
    of your current perception
    What’s the other botheration?
    The fact that on our 50th
    the wife asked me if I’d like to come upstairs
    we’d try a poke
    I had to tell her
    anymore I had just enough energy
    to do only one chore on a day
    Is that a swear-to-god true story?
    That question makes me wonder
    if I’m the kind of fool you might think I am
    and I’m wondering if you’ve considered
    whether or not
    you might have misunderestimated me
    And I can’t remember
    far enough back to answer that one
    Like another one of my heroes said
    Drive for Christ’s sake
    look out where yr going
    Are we there yet?
    Nope
    but we’re gaining

The Third Miracle
    Score: South Plains Monument 1: Tornado 0
    â€”Photo caption:
Avalanche Journal
    All night the huge twisters
    played hop Scotch and
    wreaked mayhem
    across the Caprock rim
    2:12 a.m.
    Willy John snapped the photograph
    that graced the Avalanche Journal’s
    Sunday front page
    the sculpture draped
    with St. Elmo’s fire
    around its suppliant base
    the cattle’s great horns ablaze
    from a lightning ravaged sky
    like the finger of God
    stretched toward the obelisk:
    a tornado funnel floating in