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and started to do his business, finishing up what she had begun with me. I felt a little robbed of the experience and a little mad at Steve. But the next morning when we woke up and she was long gone, Stephen complained of a tingling sensation. He cockblocked me but caught the clap.
    On campus the guys lived at the Green Acres Hotel, which was a run-down property that had too many vacancies to stay afloat on its own, so it let its rooms be taken over by the state university system. The girls lived at another hotel down the way. I romanced one girl who was quite a beauty. I have forgotten her name but not her face. One weekend I arranged for her to come over and meet me in my room. I had the habit of inviting more than one girl, thinking most girls wouldn’t show up, and that if you asked more than one, the chances were good that one of them would show up. So in addition to this beautiful girl, I invited a girl named Nancy.
    I took a shower at two o’clock. I got dressed. Three o’clock, which was the appointed hour, was drawing near. And there I was in my dorm apartment. I had my hot plate. I had my cans of beans. I had my Twinkies. I had all the things that were necessary to impress a girl when she came over to your room. The knock came at the door. I opened it, and it was the first girl. We didn’t waste any time. My mattress was on the floor, and I took her down for the count. At some point, there was another knock on the door. I’m not sure that I heard it; even if I did, I wasn’t about to answer it. My roommate opened up the door, and there was Nancy, the other girl. She was soshocked that she started running down the hallway crying. I jumped up, put on my pants, and ran after her, and I eventually cornered her in one of my other friends’ rooms, where I apologized to her profusely. She came back. By that time, the other girl had gone, and Nancy’s tears turned to passion. She stayed with me that night in my room, and I took her virginity.
    She was, I think, the first girl whose virginity I ever took. They say this is a big moment for girls; for boys, it’s slightly different. I don’t remember anything more than just being excited by the moment and continually but softly trying to break through. I felt like a doctor with a scalpel, because that’s how you had to be. Later that night I got up to go to the bathroom, flipped on the light, and almost had a heart attack, because there was blood all over the sheets. I wasn’t prepared for that. I thought she was going to die. But I gave her a hot bath, and we stayed awake most of the night. The next day was a Sunday, and we basically just cuddled and watched TV. This initial drama turned into a relationship, and we would meet in the afternoons. She started thinking of me as her boyfriend, and I didn’t do anything to discourage her. But I have to say that even when I was seeing her, I dillydallied. I took a theology class with an Episcopalian clergyman (I was a theology major) and one day his college-aged daughter came to visit him and attended his class. I was eyeing her throughout the session, and afterward I immediately cornered her and asked her how long she was visiting.
    “Just for the week,” she said.
    “Do you want to meet me tonight?” I said.
    That evening she picked me up in a truck. We drove out into the cornfields and had each other. But these were side projects. I still had an emotional urge to go back to my girlfriend, and so I did.
    When summer came along, I decided to stay upstate instead of going home to New York City, and I started working at Zackarin Brothers, which was a hotel supplies warehouse. I was a gofer for the manager. I was still with Nancy, and she and I moved into an apartment right next door to Zackarin Brothers. We lived in the same apartment building as her best friend, Maria, and her boyfriend, who was a chef. Between all the cakes he baked and brought homeevery day and the food that Nancy made for me, I ballooned up to