everything that I can,â Maggie said with a smile and then left.
I plopped down on my cot and placed my face in my hands. Everything seemed so unreal. I just couldnât believe this was happening to me. A short time later, I felt someone nudge the back of my shoulder with their fingertips. I glanced over my shoulder and saw a massive girl towering over me. She had to be at least six foot two and was very heavyset.
âWhat do you want?â I asked her.
âTo look through your bags,â she said.
âFor what?â I asked placing a very mean expression on my face.
âTo see if you have anything that I want.â I laughed.
âHoney, if you want to go through my rags to see if anything I have can fit you, then knock yourself out.â I stood up and was about to walk away.
âDrugs,â she whispered. âDo you have any?â
âNo.â I glared at her as if sheâd lost her mind. Drugs just werenât my thing, especially after watching my mother struggle with addiction.
âThey didnât give you any drugs for the cut on your hand? No painkillers or anything?â
âI have to wear the bandage to keep my hand from becoming infected. I donât have any painkillers for it,â I said and headed down to the common area. When I got down there, some of the girls were watching an episode of Jerry Springer . I went over to the small bookshelf in search of something to read. I felt like escaping from the reality I was in. I didnât want to make friends at that point. I only wanted to be left alone.
The selection of books was very small, and some of the authors Iâd never heard of. I picked up three books I thought would be interesting. There was Lord of the Flies , by William Golding, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, and The Women of Brewster Place by Gloria Naylor. I picked The Women of Brewster Place and went back to my cot. I couldnât wait to mentally check out of the group home by getting lost in a book.
Chapter 9
I didnât sleep well at all my first night in the group home. I just couldnât sleep around a bunch of strange people I didnât know or in the strange surroundings. I stayed up most of the night reading. On top of that many of the girls snored loudly. The street lamppost provided just enough light for me to read by. I finally drifted off to sleep at around four oâclock in the morning. At seven oâclock I was awakened abruptly by the sound of someone screaming. When I sat upright, several of the supervisors were trying to restrain the oversize girl whoâd asked me if I had any drugs.
âSheâs coming off of another bad hangover,â I overheard one girl whisper to another one.
When they finally got her under control, they searched her belongings and found that sheâd somehow gotten hold of some alcohol.
âThat heifer is crazy,â I heard yet another girl in the room say.
Once the supervisors found what sheâd taken, they escorted her out of the dorm room. The other girls just sat and watched the whole thing go down without saying much more. It was strange watching all of this unfold. It was like being in a movie for the mentally ill. I felt as if I was watching things happen but not actually a part of it. In some ways the dorm room filled with cots felt like a ward at an insane asylum. Perhaps we were all just too emotionally empty to react to the madness that was going on around us. Perhaps we just couldnât cry or talk about our pain anymore. Whatever our reasons, none of us moved an inch as the girl was being removed.
Later, after everyone had gone to school, I took a long shower, got dressed and hung out in the common area. I was waiting on Maggie to arrive with my transcript so I could get registered at a new high school as well as take me to the doctor to have my hand examined. I picked up an old issue of Vibe magazine that was lying around and started reading an
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